Shock and shock.

The Czar correctly figured out—frankly not much of a challenge for any Illinois resident to do—that Alexi Giannoulias and Mark Kirk would lock up the candidacy for Senate.

But what the hell happened in the gubernatorial race?

On the Democratic side, Pat Quinn and Dan Hynes wound up in a near dead-even tie. Frying pan and fire, rock and hard place, etc. Evidently Democratic voters could not decide which poison to take. There will be a recount, to be sure, but not the first in our state’s history.

On the Republican side, another tie between Kirk Dillard and Bill Brady? You remember him from the Czar’s quick guide to Illinois candidates: Brady is the guy the Czar laughed at because he did not stand a snowball’s chance in Illinois political hell of getting more than a percent of the vote.

Wow, was the Czar wrong. By 1700 hours, local, McKenna was in the lead, and Adam Andrzejewski soared up to second. By 1900 hours, Ryan and Dillard were in the top two, and Brady was in third, shockingly. By 2100 hours, Brady was in second behind Dillard. As of midnight and into today, Brady is up in first over Dillard by a few hundred votes.

Well, the Czar did not do Rep. Brady justice. He is a tax reformer who believes in basic Reaganomics to motivate business. He also is the only openly pro-concealed carry candidate for governor (Andrzejewski hinted such when he stated that anyone traveling into Chicago ought to have the right to be armed, but never spelled out concealed carry). And he is a strict conservative which could help him in a low-turnout primary, but possibly tank him in a general election where moderate votes count. This is basically Brady’s long-standing platform, which he used before as a candidate, but look at the voter response this year! Brady attributes his success to a very risky strategy that paid off: usually, governors try to win the Chicago vote and then worry about the rest of the state later (this worked for Blagojevich, and nearly every governor). Brady took the idea that Chicago has few swing voters: instead, focus on the state as a (w)hole, and then let the Chicago votes fall where they were going to anyway. This bucks the wisdom of almost two-hundred years of Illinois political science, but it appears to have worked.

In other news, Cook County President Todd Stroger—called the Toddler for his youthful looks and blatant inexperience—was handed a major defeat, winding up dead last in a crowded contest. The Czar believes he received less than 8% of the vote when counted. Stroger, you may recall, is the son of the late and popular Cook County President John Stroger. When the elder Stroger was incapacitated by major illness shortly after being re-elected, he appointed his own son, Todd, to replace him in total defiance of basic democratic principles. Todd immediately began the most horrific nepotism program imaginable, hiring every conceivable relative to dozens of old and newly created posistions, all paid hundreds of thousands of dollars per year. To pay for this, he skyrocketed Cook County sales taxes to the highest in the nation. As more of his actions were opposed by angry residents, he consistently vetoed any attempts at reform. Nevertheless, he barely campaigned for formal election, so confident was he of a landslide victory. He got his wish—but the landslide was claimed by Toni Preckwinkle. Congratulations, Ms. Preckwinkle. You are stepping into an unholy mess.

Editor Note: Sorry, Mr. Brady. A search and replace snarl wound up giving you the wrong last name. We have fixed that. If you are not Sen. Brady, please do not write in about this. If you are, please write in. Your voice will be heard by billions.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.