How do I screw up the news? Let me count the ways.

The Czar normally likes BBC News stories, because they are much better than their American counterparts at hiding their ignorance. The BBC, you know, tries to act much more upper crust, and so tends to employ better writers.

Once again, they muff a story about the American persona completely. This time, it is about how the stupid colonials screw themselves at election time. Case in point?

Well, take this Scott Brown business. Why on earth would people vote for a Republican who openly said he would tank the healthcare vote? Silly yanks: don’t they know that nationalised healthcare is good for them?

The Czar exaggerates not. “But it is striking that the people who most dislike the whole idea of healthcare reform—the ones who think it is socialist, godless, a step on the road to a police state—are often the ones it seems designed to help.” Evidence of that? Well, they mention that opposition is high in Texas, where 20% of children have no coverage at all.

Might it be that the entire process was hidden from public view, was generated by unpopular special interest groups, and awards the government a massive amount of input into a system that cannot risk any more inefficiency that it has? Maybe that could be it?

But you would need to be American to get that. Here is another quote that Americans will roll their eyes at, but British journalists quite seriously do not fathom: “Why are so many American voters enraged by attempts to change a horribly inefficient system that leaves them with premiums they often cannot afford? ”

Dunno, Jack. Why is it that our system is incomparably better and faster at treating people of all income levels than yours, with very small premiums for 90% of us?

Ah, here it is: the obvious political polemic masquerading as news:

In his book The Political Brain, psychologist Drew Westen, an exasperated Democrat, tried to show why the Right often wins the argument even when the Left is confident that it has the facts on its side.

He uses the following exchange from the first presidential debate between Al Gore and George Bush in 2000 to illustrate the perils of trying to explain to voters what will make them better off:

Gore: “Under the governor’s plan, if you kept the same fee for service that you have now under Medicare, your premiums would go up by between 18% and 47%, and that is the study of the Congressional plan that he’s modelled his proposal on by the Medicare actuaries.”

Bush: “Look, this is a man who has great numbers. He talks about numbers. I’m beginning to think not only did he invent the internet, but he invented the calculator. It’s fuzzy math. It’s trying to scare people in the voting booth.”

Mr Gore was talking sense and Mr Bush nonsense – but Mr Bush won the debate. With statistics, the voters just hear a patronising policy wonk, and switch off.

For Mr Westen, stories always trump statistics, which means the politician with the best stories is going to win: “One of the fallacies that politicians often have on the Left is that things are obvious, when they are not obvious.

“Obama’s administration made a tremendous mistake by not immediately branding the economic collapse that we had just had as the Republicans’ Depression, caused by the Bush administration’s ideology of unregulated greed. The result is that now people blame him.”

The Czar feels like screaming hold on a second, but knows the reader has already done so.

Mr Gore, to our BBC readers, is widely regarded as a pompous ass who routinely made outrageous claims that failed under scrutiny. Hence, Mr Bush’s outrage. Because, as hateful as this must be to British journalists, Bush was right and history shows Gore was wrong.

The Left has the continual problem of thinking that the math is on their side, when only the surface checks out. The long range plans of the right typically have history and defined precedent on their side.

Just as the BBC prefers to hold itself to a higher standard, its American readers deserve better than this Daily Kos backpatting. Else you open yourself up to the same scrutiny that proved Gore was ridiculously off in his assessment of his own intelligence.

The rest of the article continues along typical lines: the Left is always correct but underestimates the stupidity of the Right; Bush was a moron; gosh, Americans hate smart people; how do the Yanks survive on their own?

This news piece editorial has been written before and better. And those were not any more correct, either.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.