Transcript, 1/1/10 NBC Sports
 | “Ladies and gentlemen, this is Bob Costas of NBC Sports, and we are delighted to have today, following our Winter Classic where the Bruins of Boston just defeated the Flyers of Philadelphia, 2 to 1, in overtime, a special interview with no less than the President of the United States, Barack Obama.” |  | “Thank you, Bob, and it is a genuine pleasure to be here with you and your audience today.” |
 | “Mr. President, if we could clear something up. In your mind…is foreign policy different from domestic policy, and which one would you prefer to focus on?” |  | “Well, Bob, they are both very important, and they are both entirely different. Foreign policy has a lot of interplay between various parties, and even when you are dealing with the United States and one other country, you have to factor in the influences and interests of numerous other countries, sometimes a world away. For example, I—” |
 | “That’s great, Mr. President, but let me get right to it. Iran or China? Which one would you rather take on? China has a powerful backfield, with a lot of great talent in reserve. Iran has an aggressive offense, with a lot of predominant players, but ultimately they have little support late in the game, don’t you think?” |  | “Bob, I, uh…I don’t know that you can reduce foreign affairs down so simply. I mean, we really can’t compare these two nations as if they’re basketball teams, but—” |
 | “I think you can, Mr. President. And if I could be serious for a moment, and talk honestly about your twin domestic agendas with the economy and with healthcare, I have to ask: the Senate, or the House of Representatives? If you had to pick one, basically to be your traveling team of all-stars, who would it be? I know you have experience with the Senate, and so you have loyalty there, but there are, what, a couple hundred guys in the House? That’s a pretty formidable combination of players, there.” | | “Well, actually, there are 435 members in the House, men and women, and once again, I really doubt you can—” |
| “So you’re going with the greater numbers? You think the House can beat the Senate hands down?” | | “Bob, I have to tell you, I really don’t have a clue what you’re asking here. Are you under the impression that the two are competing in some fashion, or…actually, what the hell are you talking about?” |
 | “Come on! Everyone knows Washington politics is the biggest game in town. For example, you have the Caps, who are having an outstanding year, but the Skins and the Nats are definitely in a need to rebuild. You don’t think that’s a perfect match for the economy? As an analog, it’s about spot on.” |  | “Uh…I’m rapidly reaching the conclusion that you are one of the worst interviewers I’ve ever encountered. Are you deliberately trying to make everything some over-stretched, perverse analogy to the sporting world, and trying to sound smart by doing so? Because it’s really annoying the piss out of me.” |
| “Once again, NBC Sports has the hard-hitting questions that make the toughest people crack. After the break, we talk to the son of Don Drysdale, who has some interesting verbal memorabilia of his father, and what his take on Venezuelan elections might mean.” |  | “My God, you’re out of your mind, aren’t you?” |
Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.