As noted philosopher Ted “Theodore” Logan once noted, “Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.” His sagacious observation is equally applicable to Massachusetts’ special Senate election, to be held on the morrow.
Republican Scott Brown (noted Cosmo pinup boy) seems to be riding momentum into the seat held for generations by Kennedys or their placeholding flunkies. To state that a Brown win would be unexpected is understating the matter by several orders of magnitude. How can this be, in the bluest of blue states, where Democrats outnumber Republicans three to one?
Well, ‘Puter spent the weekend drinking, gaming and thinking, and has come up with a unifying theory. What accounts for Brown’s shocking poll lead, one long weekend prior to election day? Reagan Democrats.
You see, while true that Democrats outnumber Republicans three to one, a lesser reported fact is that Independents outnumber Democrats and Republicans combined. And just who are these independents? For the most part, white, blue collar working families. Or, Reagan Democrats. ‘Puter would define Reagan/Brown Democrats less by demographics and more by ideology. Reagan Democrats believe in (1) a strong, proud America (2) small government and (3) fiscal responsibility. Reagan Democrats cannot be identified by social ideology, as they’re all over the map (e.g., on abortion, gay marriage, etc.). In 1980, Reagan Democrats swept President Reagan into office in response to America’s President Carter induced “malaise.” In 1994, in response to President Clinton’s health care overreach, this self-same group swept Republicans back to a House of Representatives majority for the first time in 40 years. It appears that in 2010, Reagan Democrats are poised to sweep Scott Brown into the Massachusetts Senate seat, amply warmed for generations by Sen. Edward M. Kennedy’s corpulent ass. And Reagan Democrats may decimate (‘Puter’s using the term in the colloquial sense, not in the “to reduce by 10%” literal meaning) the large Democrat majorities in the House and Senate in the 2010 midterm elections later this year.
Now that ‘Puter’s identified Reagan Democrats as the cause of all this foofaraw, let’s take a look a the current state of affairs. Currently, Democrats hold the presidency, a strong majority in the House, and a filibuster-proof majority in the Senate. The Democrats have used this unified control to attempt to cram through a leftist agenda, including tax increases large and small. See, e.g., health care reform, cap-and-trade, cash for clunkers/caulking, etc. The Democrats have done this in the least transparent manner in generations, cutting Republicans and the public entirely out of the loop. Public support for the Democrats’ current (leftist) agenda is plummeting, though the public still generally likes President Obama personally.
Let’s apply what we know about Reagan Democrats to the Massachusetts Senate Race.
In Massachusetts, Scott Brown has run as an unfailingly optimistic fiscal realist. Mr. Brown has told the people that he agrees with health care reform, but not with a spendthrift bill that doesn’t actually, you know, reform health care. He’s not badmouthed his opponent, Ms. Coakley. He’s driven all over the state, talking to everyone he can. He’s explained to Massachusetts voters that he’s with them on Massachusetts issues (hewing to Tip O’Neill’s “all politics is local” mantra). Yesterday, in one of Mr. Brown’s last rallies, he was joined on stage by John Ratzenberger (Cliff Clavin of Cheers), Doug Flutie (of the Boston College Hail Mary fame) and St. Curt of Fenway (object of Red Sox Nation worship forever).
Contrast Mr. Brown’s campaign with Ms. Coakley. Ms Coakley was 30 points up after her Democrat primary win. She ran her campaign on two premises: (1) I am the anointed Democrat successor to Sen. Kennedy; therefore, the little people must install me and (2) a vote for me is a vote for the bloated, profligate health care bill. Ms. Coakley then retired to an undisclosed location to await her coronation. That is, until it became apparent that Mr. Brown had the momentum and a real shot at winning.
Badly misreading the reason for Mr. Brown’s momentum, Ms. Coakley (helped by the White House genii and Washinton intelligentisia) hammered home the point that she’d single-handedly bankrupt America by voting for a health care bill that wouldn’t really help anyone at all. She compounded her error by appearing this weekend with a who’s who of everything that’s wrong with a single-party system esconced in Washington: President Obama, Sen. John Kerry, Rep. Barney Frank, Rep. Ed Markey, etc. Few if any of her supporters were regular Joe Massachusetts residents; they were rather Washington Democrat apparatchiks. And to cap Ms. Coakley’s campaign of self-immolation, she identified Curt Schilling (Boston hero/saint/legend for his performance in the 2004 Red Sox World Series win) as a Yankee fan. Not once. Not twice. Three times. In the same interview.
In sum, Mr. Brown is likely to emerge victorious because he appealed persuasively to the core beliefs of the largest voting bloc in Massachusetts: Reagan Democrats. Ms. Coakley will likely lose because she ignored, marginalized and put down Reagan Democrats and their beliefs.
And, say what you will about Sen. Kennedy and his politics, he was very much aware of who comprised his constituency, and how to keep their loyalty (and votes). In this way, Mr. Brown has stolen a page from Sen. Kennedy’s playbook.
‘Puter may, if and when he sobers up sometime in late October or early November, pull out this post and apply its reasoning to the then-state of the 2010 midterms. Or not. On never knows what’s afoot at the Circle K.
Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.
’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.
The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.
His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.
He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.
Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.
‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.