Peter Orszag Channels The Supremes
Mr. Orszag, President Obama’s hand-picked (presumably for his competence and focus) OMB Director is a newly acknowledged triple threat. Mr. Orszag divorced his first wife after siring two children several years ago. He is recently engaged to a new woman. Nothing unusual here: a guy gets divorced and remarries. But here’s the rub. We find out today that Mr. Orszag knocked up his former girlfriend (one of at least one between first wife and trophy wife), and that he has a love child with that girlfriend.
Leaving aside for the moment the morality of Mr. Orszag’s action, it would seem to ‘Puter that, as a practical matter, Mr. Orszag’s three-ring circus romantic escapades would necessarily distract him from his job. In the private employment context, we live with this issue all the time. However, for a high level public official charged with overseeing America’s budget and its massive deficit, distractions of this nature are incompatible with the job.
Mr. Orszag should tender his resignation immediately. Not because he’s a divorced man irresponsibly knocking up women and marrying third parties. Rather, because the distraction caused by his poor judgment will not permit him to effectively manage OMB at a crucial moment in our history.
Oh, Mr. Orszag! Had you only heeded the wisdom of the Supremes!
Started my life
In a old, cold, run-down tenement slum (tenement slum)
My father left he never even married mama
I shared the guilt my mama knew
So afraid that others knew I had no name
…
Love Child
Never meant to be
Love Child
(Scorned by) Society
Love Child
Always second best
Love Child
(Different from) Different from the rest
Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.
’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.
The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.
His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.
He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.
Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.
‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.