It starts out nice. Scientists investigated whether or not dogs suffer from OCD in large numbers, and it turns out they do. In fact, larger breeds suffer from OCD (or CCD, id est canine compulsive disorder) at much higher rates, and traced it back to the chomosome 7 location within the gene CDH2.

But then, the Fox News article goes on to list other ways universities blow their research budgets on crazy projects, like bumps in rugs, convection in showers, and how humans are exceptional at correctly guessing the gender of cats by looking at their faces. Hah, those crazy colleges!

What the author, Jeremy Kaplan, either does not know or does not admit is that science works quite well when it works laterally. Discoveries, seemingly meaningless, often result in massive breakthroughs. Look into the history of coal tar and carnauba wax for two seemingly useless products that changed the world.

Ha ha ha, so big dogs suffer from CCD? Dumb scientists. Until, God forbid, some close relative of Mr. Kaplan’s were diagnosed with OCD in 2013, and the doctor says “Fortunately, we now know that there is a chromosome therapy treatment readily available because scientists found it in the CDH2 gene in dogs a few years back.” Suddenly, that is neither frivolous or silly anymore, and Mr. Kaplan will boggle when he recalls the amount of money spent, which then in his eyes will seem absurdly small.

Update: Borepatch reminds us that we bred dogs to have a form of OCD so that we can keep them on task…herding sheep, rather than eating them. Very true!

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.