First we had the maladjusted little darlings who wanted to kill themselves after seeing the movie Avatar, now we get this story. Yes that’s right, these people are naming their children after characters from the movie.
This has you Mandarin wondering:
1. How much further humiliation must these children endure? I mean, really, their parents are sci-fi nerds who seem unable to separate fantasy from reality.
2. This must only be limited to about two to three children, because as we all know, for these dorks to reproduce and have children they would have to:
A) Actually leave their mother’s basement
B) Actually kiss a girl
C) Actually have intercourse with same said girl
Your Mandarin can see it now – 1st day of kindergarten, September 2016, student roll call:
Toruk Harry Potter Beurger, Jr.
C3P0 Gollum Grabowski
Wow, they should hand out condoms to anyone seeing this movie.
The Mandarin, whose real name is 吏恆, joined the order in 1309, and introduced the Gormogons into England during the 18th Century.
The Mandarin enjoys spending time with his pet manticore, Βάρἰκος, or Barry (who can be found in the Bestiary). When not in the Castle…well, frankly, nobody is quite sure where he goes.
The Mandarin popularized the fine art of “gut booting,” by which he delivers a powerful kick to the stomach of anyone that annoys him. Although nearly universal today, the act of gut booting or threatening someone or something with a gut boot is solely due to him.