Joe Tetreault at the conveniently named TetreaultVision writes this about your Czar:
Meanwhile, the Czar of Muscovy, writing from his throne at Castle Gormogon, cautions [t]his information is far from being the stake in the heart that the Cap and Trade or Copenhagen vampires would need. The Czar remains one of the preeminent global sources of data regarded the proper staking of both vampires and peasantsthe Czar fails to distinguish between the two until after the fact.
Yes, the Czar knows a purple patch when he reads one, and Joe has earned himself a free slice of plain cheese at Muscovy Pizza.
Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.