Well at least Fox News hasn’t named GorT and your Mandarin outright in this story about the Large Hadron Collider.

According to the news story, Danish physicist Dr. Holger Bech Nielsen and Japanese physicist Dr. Masao Ninomiya claim that “nature” is trying to prevent the LHC from finding the Higgs boson. Nature, Hah! Tremble in fear before the mighty Discombobulatron (patent pending), capable of time travel, destruction of billion dollar physics experiments, and opening cans without leaving a sharp edge.

They go on to further state that their math proves that nature will ripple backward through time to stop the LHC before it can create the God particle, like a time traveler who goes back in time to kill his grandfather – I’d personally like to see the math on this and the list of grandfathers killed.

With the advent of this untimely news story, it is clear that your Mandarin and GorT must double our efforts to prevent the discovery of the Higgs boson and how Jon and Kate Gosselin became celebrities. It has also become plainly clear that we have a security breach at the Castle Gormogon that must be plugged, and by plugged I mean the Czar’s bar tab needs to be closed.

The Mandarin

The Mandarin, whose real name is 吏恆, joined the order in 1309, and introduced the Gormogons into England during the 18th Century.

The Mandarin enjoys spending time with his pet manticore, Βάρἰκος, or Barry (who can be found in the Bestiary). When not in the Castle…well, frankly, nobody is quite sure where he goes.

The Mandarin popularized the fine art of “gut booting,” by which he delivers a powerful kick to the stomach of anyone that annoys him. Although nearly universal today, the act of gut booting or threatening someone or something with a gut boot is solely due to him.