Movie Night At The Castle
The Czar is attempting to catch up on his movie watching. Well aware that folks no less than Jonah Goldberg have criticized certain films as strongly liberal, the Czar must concede he does not see it. Some of these films are strongly conservative! For example, the following.
| Falling Down, 1993. A defense contractor is let go from his job due to defense budget cuts by President Clinton. Caught in a traffic roadblock initiated by a Democratically led Department of Transportation construction project, the man snaps. Denied visitation to his estranged wife and daughter on the latter’s birthday by a liberal judge, he is free to rely on his Second Amendment rights by obtaining firearms dropped by illegal alien gang members. Along the way he meets all sorts of liberal racists, cowards, and progressivist types (including an overcharging store owner who fails to understand capitalist barter) and scares some sense into them. Very rewarding and uplifting. |  |
| Forrest Gump, 1995. Hysterical movie in which Tom Hanks portrays a moron. He goes through life, completely convincing famous liberals that he is not an idiot—just a fellow liberal who expects everyone else to take care of him. From his inability to understand simple logic to his meaningless stories and catchphrases that mean nothing when a person with a three-digit IQ thinks about them, he is the true liberal icon and shows what the Democrats want to do to your kids. Brilliant satire. Great cameo by Haley Joel Osment. |  |
| The American President, 1995. Another knee-slapper. Here, Michael Douglas plays a Democratic president who gains a little popularity when his wife dies. Basically, he is ineffectual and depends upon his eleven-year-old daughter to run the country. Like most Democratic presidents, he attempts to round up the nations’s guns under the euphemism of a crime control bill, but of course the country rejects this. So he attempts to use a lobbyist, with whom as a Democrat he naturally sleeps, to drum up support by changing the wording around and making gun control part of a brutal anti-capitalist environmental reform bill. Not surprisingly his popularity nosedives, and he is forced to ditch the environmental bill (which gets the lobbyist fired, showing that even fictional Democratic presidents know two different ways to screw people), and even agrees to dump the crime control bill at the end of the movie to riotous applause. Realizing he did the right thing, he reassures his liberal supporters that he will naturally draft a stronger gun control measure in his next term, but of course he never does. A great morality play that shows if you are a Democratic president, people will hate you until you stop messing with guns, the environment, and hot chicks. |  |
| Dave, 1993. Insightful film that reveals how much corruption is part of any Democratic administration. Kevin Kline plays Dave, a temporary employment expert who bears such a striking resemblance to the President that he is asked to portray the POTUS in public while the latter boinks some girl, as Democratic presidents do. Except, of course, the actual president succumbs to a stroke, and to cover up the illegal activities for a while, Dave is asked by a typically evil Democratic chief of staff to continue portraying the president while the chief sets himself up to become president and continue with illegal activities, for which they will blame the simpleton vice president. Dave rebels, and backstabs the chief of staff in true Democratic fashion. He then begins a ridiculous campaign of guaranteeing employment to all Americans as a bloated extension of welfare. With no ability to pay for this, Dave does what Democratic politicians do and fakes his own death in order to stick the hapless vice president with the mess to clean up. The chief of staff goes to jail. Dave laughs when he escapes, and decides to run for office as a Republican. |  |
Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.