In this editorial, the Washington Post’s editorial board tars Republican candidate for Virginia Attorney General Kenneth Cuccinelli as a bigot.

The WaPo takes umbrage at Mr. Cuccinelli’s assertion that homosexual acts are “intrinsically wrong” and represent “behavior that is not healthy to an individual and in aggregate is not healthy to society.” Note well that Mr. Cuccinelli does not assert homosexuals themselves to be wrong, only homosexual acts.

Well, WaPo, two can play at this game. You know who else believes that homosexual acts are intrinsically wrong and not healthy to an individual or society? Approximately 1.1 billion Roman Catholics. Here’s what the Vatican’s website, citing the Catechism, has to say about homosexuality:

Chastity and homosexuality

2357 Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons of the same sex. It has taken a great variety of forms through the centuries and in different cultures. Its psychological genesis remains largely unexplained. Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity,140 tradition has always declared that “homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered.”141 They are contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved.

2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.

2359 Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.

Mr. Cuccinelli’s beliefs are entirely consistent with the teachings of the Roman Catholic Church, which counts Mr. Cuccinelli and approximately 67.5 million adherents in the United States and over 1 billion worldwide as members. And, as stated above, these beliefs expressly require Catholics to accept homosexuals with “respect, sensitivity and compassion.” In the WaPo’s selective quoting, Mr. Cuccinelli has not suggested otherwise. Mr. Cuccinelli has simply stated his acceptance of his Church’s teachings on homosexuality.

Did the WaPo intend to call all Roman Catholics bigots, because that’s the effect of its ignorant, biased editorial? Did WaPo realize it insulted the faith of two of its favorite liberals, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Vice President Joe Biden, Catholics the both (leaving aside for the moment their adherence to the faith)? ‘Puter’s certain Archbishop Donald Wuerl, prelate of the Archdiocese of Washington, D.C., would be happy to listen to the WaPo editorial board’s better minds expound upon his and his Church’s bigotry.

The WaPo editorial board are the only bigots in the room here. The board betrays its liberal reflexive distrust of and ignorance of organized religion. It is only too happy to insult 67.5 million American Catholics and their faith, because, you see, only rubes believe in that “spirit in the sky” crap. Religious beliefs are hokum and voodoo and can be disregarded because there’s no way God exists. They just know it. Good liberals like those on the WaPo’s editorial believe in the awesome power of Hope and Change, and the fierce urgency of now, without realizing the sheer emptiness of their belief system. It’s humorous to watch their unknowing attempts to invest divinity into empty idols, like Global Warming and President Obama. ‘Puter pities them.

The WaPo owes both Mr. Cuccinelli and the Roman Catholic Church an apology. ‘Puter will wait for the WaPo’s retraction, but expects to be waiting a long, long time.

'Puter

Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.

’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.

The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.

His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.

He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.

Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.

‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.