At first, it looked as if CNN was going to report negatively on POTUS Obama, which would be astonishing. But no, the headline was misleading: although ex-CIA Director Michael Hayden did say that Obama harmed national security by leaking out some Bush-era memos on torture practices, the ever-loyal CNN was quick to point out Dear Leader’s infinite mercy and wisdom in exposing torture practices so that they could no longer be used.

But in reading the article, the Czar was intrigued by one exchange. Hayden claimed, “By taking [certain] techniques off the table, we have made it more difficult—in a whole host of circumstances I can imagine—for CIA officers to defend the nation.”

To which Rahm Emmanuel replied, “One of the reasons the president was willing to let this information out was that already the information was out….Go get the New York Review of Books. It’s there.”

Yeah, well, the Chief of Staff has a point. And that has the Czar concerned. Did Hayden believe—truly believe—that the now-exposed torture techniques of sleep deprivation, waterboarding, and wall-standing were secret? Hollywood has used every one of these in recent films, as have countless spy novels, as have many college fraternities for initiations. If Hayden really believes these were closely kept CIA secrets, then once again he and the Czar need to have a talk about how out-of-touch the CIA remains about certain topics.

And so here it is. The problem is not that “now the bad guys know what we do,” but that the common perception by bad guys turned out to be reality. You do not need to torture your prisoners, of course: you need merely let people think you do. Perception is a great reality: if prioners or human rights watchdogs think you will waterboard them, it makes no difference if it isn’t true.

But if you expose these practices as truth, then you have convinced people you no longer will. And whether or not that’s true won’t matter either. Perception rules.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.