In Which ‘Puter Is Again Proven Correct
Respected economists agree with ‘Puter’s position on the bank bailout, as outlined here.
That is, the market pricing offered by distressed asset purchasers is correct. It’s the selling banks that have their collective head in the sand.
Oh, and by the way, the government is massively screwing up any chance at recovery by attempting to prop up prices, transferring wealth from taxpayers to banks.
Would someone in the administration please give bankruptcy and/or regulatory liquidation a chance to work before trying cockamamie Rube Goldberg plans?
Under the soon-to-be-implemented Pax Gormogonica, ‘Puter’s genius will be recognized, and sanity will return to the financial markets. In the meantime, Secretary Geithner should feel free to borrow the ‘Puter Plan linked above (with attribution, of course). It couldn’t possibly suck harder than the plans put forth by this administration to date.
** The Obama Administration’s new Sectretary of Transportation, Ms. H. Kitty, pictured above.
Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.
’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.
The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.
His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.
He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.
Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.
‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.