Is ‘Puter ever wrong? Back on October 30th, he called this one.

The government is looking at increased control over that Wild West Frontier Drinkin’ Town known as the Internet. Read some of the details here. Apparently, it is a lawless and godless town that needs churchin’ up.

Naturally, the government cites all sorts of good reasons, including the threats to our electrical grid that become possible once POTUS Obama’s stimulus plan to link the grid over data take place, or the probable theft of JSF details and designs from a government system.

The Czar has a pretty simple suggestion. Rather than take government control over the Internet, which as you know the government no longer owns, how about you spend a few bucks tuning up the security at the end points? You know—maybe protect these critical systems with more than just a password like password, disable guest accounts, and perhaps do all that stuff that Angkwar, the underpaid IT guy with the limp, has been telling you to do. Maybe take off the sticky notes from the monitors that say “Your log in name is Guest.” Maybe delete those FTP accounts from 1994 projects that let anyone see any file from any other project. That stuff.

This might be good, because the government plan does not address the fact that these same systems would be vulnerable even if there was no internet at all.

For all the whining that folks did about the Patriot Act, can anyone name a single American who was harmed by the Patriot Act? Sure, there must have been a couple, but can you name one, without Googling? On the other hand, this type of suggestion is at least as scary if not more so: this can affect everyone whether or not they know it.

And in case you missed it up there, the US government does not own the Internet any longer. Any attempt to regain control of it should be viewed as a violation of the First Amendment: it is a place where you can speak freely, and assemble, and report news like this without fear of retribution. It is a public space. So think very carefully before going further. And we thank the government for giving it away in huge chunks between 1969 and 1974, but regret that it is too used to return. Perhaps Al Gore can invent a new one for your private use?

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.