Populism v. Elitism - The Gormogons

Populism is the belief that the little guy, the common man, has wisdom that should (and at times, must) be followed. Elitism is the belief that the betters in our society should rule, and that dictates should come from the top down.

Both approaches have merit, but neither works especially well in practice. Populism has a propensity to turn a seething mob trying to avenge its perceived victimhood. Elitism has a tendency to become too removed and detached from the reality of everyday living. However, populism can be very good at identifying societal problems, and elitism at its best can be very good at solving such problems. The ideologies seem complementary.

The common man has firsthand knowledge of when he is hurting (see, e.g, rising gas prices, inflation, environmental issues, etc.), but generally do not have the advanced skills and/or knowledge to solve these problems. Elites, with specific knowledge in the affected areas, have the capacity to propose and implement solutions to these problems, but often miss the problems until they have become unbearable.

‘Puter’s simplified this ongoing debate a whole lot, but the gist is that both the average Joe and the East Coast elite would be a heck of lot better off working together, and society would benefit. Just because Average Joe doesn’t have a high-falutin‘ college degree doesn’t mean that he can’t identify valid societal issues. And just because Professor Tweedpatches is an insufferably arrogant priss doesn’t mean he can’t solve the identified problem.

As Jimmy, the great South Park philosopher once said when negotiating a truce between the Crips and the Bloods, “I mean, Come. On.” Wise kid, that Jimmy.

'Puter

Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.

’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.

The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.

His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.

He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.

Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.

‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.