Well, a few more days have passed since GorT’s last Olympic update and it’s time for some more mocking. First, kudos to the folks over at Stryde Hax hacking around the ‘net to find out the truth at the bottom of He Kexin’s (the Chinese gymnast) real age. As stated before, just look at her – there is no way this girl turned 16 in January. Then people uncover records like this:
10 何可欣 He Kexin 女 F 1994
11 1994 1 1 北京体育局
Beijing Sports Bureau 武汉体育局
Wuhan Sports Bureau 2年 2 years
See this part: “11 1994” – January 1st, 1994. That makes her 14 years and 200-some-odd days old. “Damn that internet caching!”
Second, (hat tip to the Volgi) there’s this excellent piece by Rick Reilly over at ESPN. Couldn’t have done a better job myself.
Third, I logged some time watching the flames shoot out the back of Bolt as he dominated the 200m race. This is the same race where the top US finisher was DQed right afterwards. The commentators (after a stupid interview) did a great job pointing out the “new” 2nd place runner should be DQed as well (which he eventually was after a protest by the US Track Team). While I’m not a big fan of DQing someone who runs that blazing fast, but rules are rules and should be consistently enforced lest we drift towards the “non-sports” events.
EDIT: First, I tried to fix the formatting of the Chinese records found and two, it appears that the IOC is going to take action: “An IOC official told The Times that “discrepancies” that have come to light about the age of He Kexin — the host nation’s darling, who won gold in both team and individual events — have prompted an inquiry that could result in the gymnast being stripped of her medals.”
GorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including subsidizing this website. Some of the products he has introduced from the future include oven mitts, the Guinness widget, Oxy-Clean, and Dr. Pepper. Due to his immense cybernetic brain, GorT is able to produce a post in 0.023 seconds and research it in even less time. Only ’Puter spends less time on research. GorT speaks entirely in zeros and ones, but occasionally throws in a ڭ to annoy the Volgi. He is a massive proponent of science, technology, and energy development, and enjoys nothing more than taking the Czar’s more interesting scientific theories, going into the past, publishing them as his own, and then returning to take credit for them. He is the only Gormogon who is capable of doing math. Possessed of incredible strength, he understands the awesome responsibility that follows and only uses it to hurt people.