Foxy News
FoxNews reports that there’s fox news. Seem over Wooster-way, a fox attacked a 76 year old woman so savagely that a police officer was forced to shoot them both. Or maybe he shot just the fox: the story is a little hazy on details. No one seems to explain why a police officer was there; probably investigating the claim that the fox stole a boy’s lunch, too.
This story passes the Bush test: had the former president snatched a kid’s lunch and then bit an elderly woman’s arm, it too would make news.
Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.