Cc: Sleestak, Prince Tochmas, Grand Mogul, Inetef-Te-Henqet, 2-IB, Yeto, Barry, and various Minions, and that Dat Ho kid
Subject: Castle Gormogon Official Time
This is to officially remind the Castle dwellers that we do not recognize Daylight Saving time. We adhere to Zulu (UTC) time without deviation. Our computers are synchronized automatically with the Gormogon master clock, which is accurate down to the 24th decimal place due to the Mandarin’s advanced Cesium fountain.
We do not farm or raise livestock and therefore are in no need for “saving” any time. Plus, we have a time traveling robot so any saving of time is rendered moot.
There is no excuse for missing meetings as the rest of the country adjusts to Daylight Saving time. We will send Sleestak to wake and fetch you, if needed. Fair warning.
In the event you notice any irregularities with the passage of time, please submit a help desk ticket to GorT and any spatio-temporal anomalies will be dealt with forthwith.
P.S. Czar, for reference, the Castle has converted to 25-year batteries in our smoke detectors, but those outside the Castle, may purchase the available 10-year battery detectors rather than switching batteries every six months.
GorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including subsidizing this website. Some of the products he has introduced from the future include oven mitts, the Guinness widget, Oxy-Clean, and Dr. Pepper. Due to his immense cybernetic brain, GorT is able to produce a post in 0.023 seconds and research it in even less time. Only ’Puter spends less time on research. GorT speaks entirely in zeros and ones, but occasionally throws in a ڭ to annoy the Volgi. He is a massive proponent of science, technology, and energy development, and enjoys nothing more than taking the Czar’s more interesting scientific theories, going into the past, publishing them as his own, and then returning to take credit for them. He is the only Gormogon who is capable of doing math. Possessed of incredible strength, he understands the awesome responsibility that follows and only uses it to hurt people.