The boys and the Czar played an interesting little game this morning on the driveway while waiting for the school bus. The weather is quite chilly this morning—44°—so we did not spent much time doing physical activity; rather, we engaged in a quiz the Czar cleverly titled “Legal or Illegal?”

The premise started when the Царевич asked why hunters, who spend a lot of time and money putting together camouflage ensembles for hunting, wear orange that makes them look obvious. The elder Цесаревич was able to answer the question correctly about orange looking beige to deer and how shooting accidents dropped dramatically, and so on. But then the Цесаревич asked if hunting accidents still occur. Indeed, we replied, they do—there still is the rare vice-president who shoots a buddy’s face, but most hunting accidents today are guys who fall out of their improperly installed tree stands.

That said, the Czar mentioned to them he knows a guy who has a tree stand in his backyard, which overlooks from private woods. He sits out and up there most mornings with his boys and once in a while can get a deer with them as it crosses into his large yard.

The boys were much impressed with that, and wanted to know if this is legal or illegal. In fact, it is perfectly legal to hunt on your own property, provided local laws let you discharge firearms in non-emergencies.

So this inspired the Czar to start his game: we asked if the following scenarios were legal or illegal based on federal, Illinois, and Muscovy laws and ordinances: a coyote attacking a person on a driveway (ues, we have both coyotes and driveways in Muscovy), a coyote standing in the middle of the street, performing a trick shooting demonstration at a local park for an audience, a man wrestling with a struggling woman (they liked this one, because we surprised them by explaining—after they guessed—it turned out she was choking and he was trying to perform a Heimlich), shooting a rifle in the air after a Blackhawks win, and so on.

Surprisingly, they guessed correctly on all twelve or so scenarios covering self-defense, non-emergencies, challenging an individual, and so on. Not surprisingly, most gun owners probably could not do this: in fact, the Czar is usually amazed at how little gun owners understand their local laws.

Don’t get excited: in our experience, most gun owners don’t understand how much they can do legally. Gun owners are so battered and shamed by liberals that they tend to assume you can get arrested even taking a weapon out of its case.

Your local laws will vary from Muscovy, so the answers our boys correctly gave may be different and therefore unimportant to you. But the next time you get together with a bunch of shooters, play the game. Yes, kids or adults—review the answers as a group and you might discover how little they…or perhaps…you know.

And this need not be about firearms: pick any topic—such as how Congress raises and spends revenue—and see what you all know.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.