The Czar has spent a good portion of a snowy Christmas weekend watching the family play with a Kinect for XBox 360. Does it live up to the hype? Perhaps. It certainly is a different way to play a game.

By coincidence, the kids and the Царица alike have played with the latest generation Wii yesterday, spending hours with that system. So comparing the two systems is fairly fresh in the Czar’s head. It isn’t close.

No, don’t get ticked—the Wii is an awesome concept, and it is not about to go anywhere soon for a very good reason why which we will get to later.

The Kinect is this small, black robotic camera that you place at the base of your flat panel display, and plug it into (a) power and (b) the USB port on the back of the Xbox. It takes it from there. And basically, what you do, the Xbox guy does. Raise your hand, it raises its hand. Lift your leg, cross your arms, twist your head, and yes, the Kinect avatar matches it. To select a button or option, put your palm over it, and a little timer begins ticking. If you continue to hold your hand there for five seconds, it selects it; otherwise, it deselects the option.

Here is what we like:

• It recognizes people. When one kid is playing, it adapts for his physical size. When the Царица or the other kid gets up, it not only readapts for the size, but it changes the avatar and player profile automatically. So Царица gets the points she earns, and each of the boys gets to keep his points.
• It recognizes people…really. When Царица gets back up to take a turn, even if she is technically out of turn, the game senses this and automatically switches to her. And it gets it right. It is sensitive enough to discern the differences between the boys.
• The kinesthetic recognition is astonishing. With only the slightest delay, it really is smart enough to figure out when you are throwing overhand or underhand, spinning, leaning forward, or whatever. As a result, playing games is a lot of fun. In fact, unlike the Wii, you cannot cheat. See, with the Wii, all you have to do is move the Wii-mote. You can pretty much sit on the couch, and by careful movements of the Wii-mote, play a game. With those dance contest games—where you are expected to mimic the movements of on-screen dancers, really all you need to do is move the right hand correctly, and screw the rest. The experienced Wii players are able to do this and cheat the game, racking up great points without doing all the work. Not so on the Kinect: it literally sees you and knows if your right ankle is bent or not.
• The included game contains a lengthy variety of physical challenges that really shows off the game, but in a manner that is addictive. The family has been stuck down there since the end of the Bears-Jets game, and they are still at it. It sure is interesting to watch them, like a bunch of manic Tai Chi addicts trying to accomplish a whole day of exercise in a few frenetic movements. And to really make you feel small, the game takes little photographs of you doing what it presumes could be a silly pose or facial expression, and displays your split-second poses at the end of each level. And yeah, it is very smart about making you look goofy…but not in an insulting way, but in a way that immediately cuts down the more aggressive Type-A personalities. The Czar won’t get near it for this reason.

But fair is fair. There are some downsides:

• Whatever the box says about space requirements is a load of crap. We provided a space for it in front of the flat panel that was well cleared out, and over the minimum space requirements. And the Kinect still insists you are too far left, right, or too close. This thing wants a freaking warehouse of space. A simple and quite fascinating calibration tool allows you to fine tune your actual playing space, and while that helps a little bit, we still cannot find a space large enough in our already spacious family room to make this sumbitch happy. A lot of tweaking is still required, but be forewarned: whatever space you plan to give your Kinect won’t be enough. Lebensraum.
• There are entirely too many manuals for this thing. Here is a hint: provide one. Take the three you now have, and pull the individual requirements out from each, and condense them into one multi-lingual card. One manual tells you how to connect the cables and position the box. Another tells you how to position the box but also how to connect some options. Another tells you how to use the setup software that the other two never mention. Now, truth be told, this was a simple thing to set up. But nothing suggests the opposite than three manuals that each leave out something interesting the other two include. Bad job, Microsoft.
• The sensor has no sweet spot. You either move too fast or too slow when selecting options. A gentle motion works well for this screen, but then a wild, wide gesturing sweep of the hand is required for the next. This is a new technology, so this makes sense, but eventually programmers need to hit some sort of standard. This, by the way, is very frustrating for the kids who have a hard time hitting the button floating on the screen.
• The game simply likes adults better than kids, and that is that. The boys are having a great time with it, but their smaller frames and faster overall motion result in missed hits and jumps and whatnot. But once an adult stands up, wow, it recognizes the size right away and accuracy improves a great deal. This is probably fixable in a patch, but for right now, the kids give a little “Awww…” when they jump up to swat an incoming projectile and fall well short, or reach down to scoop up a ball and their screen avatar misses it completely.
• The game lacks a real physical interface, and this is why Wii fans should rejoice. With no controller in the hand, there is no way the Kinect—in its present state—will be able to handle first-person shooter type games like Halo or Medal of Honor. There is no weapon to shoot. No way to reload weapons or change weapons. And be honest—this was a major reason for game consoles’ collective success. No doubt a spate of handheld wireless controllers will be incorporated (including any of the existing ones for the XBox 360) for a wild and weird mix of physical motions as well as point and shoot controls; for now, you are limited to running and jumping and kicking and throwing.

One last word on the Kinect: you have no doubt seen the commercials for Kinectimals, a game pitched at younger kids in which you share a series of adventures with baby animals (a tiger cub, a black panther cub, leopard, lion, and cheetah cubs, and so on). The commercial does not do this justice. What an incredible concept for a game.

Yes, what you heard is true: if you slap your knees, the little guy runs up to you. If you put your hands out to the side, he stands to attention. Throw your arms up, and he stands up on his hind legs. Spin, and he spins. Lay down, and he plays dead. And so on. Or, you can speak out the commands—“Sit down!” “Sit!” “Jump!”—and so on. And the little cub does it. And the kid and the cub go off to explore the island and solve a mystery as to what became of an old pirate. Throw balls, brush the cub, and pet him, and the little animal is incredibly happy. He does what the kid does, and this is engaging enough.

But watching a real five-year-old Царевич play this is not covered in the commercials at all. Watching him almost cry because the little cub is so darned cute, and doing whatever the kid wants to do without question…and seeing that choked-up kid break into hysterical laughter when the little cub tumbles down a hill or gets distracted by a nearby running bunny—that is something indescribably special. He gets to name the cub, it learns his voice, and watches him intently to see what to do next. This puts a little kid entirely in charge of a masterful piece of software programming. This is totally gaming on a whole new level. The little Царевич and his cheetah cub “Ruffy” never have to worry about fighting level bosses, unlocking weapons, fending off aerial attacks, or taking down sentries from behind—they just run through the trails together, playing ball, climbing hills, and rolling down them.

Sound like an unlikely game to hold a kid’s attention for hours? Yes, we thought so too, until we watched. Sheer genius.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.