Special Relationship? Not So Much.
Great Britain and the United States have long cherished their speical relationship. Over the last century, the U.S. and U.K. together have rescued the world’s democracies at least twice. It would be criminally stupid for either government to knowingly damage this relationship. Meet the criminally stupid Labour government and its stooge in charge, Prime Minister Gordon Brown.
In documents released and reported on in The Times of London, Prime Minister Brown is said not to have wanted convicted terrorist and Lockerbie bomber Abdul Baset Ali al-Megrahi to “pass away in prison.” Nevermind that Mr. al-Megrahi killed 270 people, both in the air and on the ground, most of them Americans. Nevermind that Mr. al-Megrahi was tried and convicted by British courst for this crime. Nevermind that British courts sentenced Mr. al-Megrahi to life in prison. Prime Minister Brown didn’t want a murderer to die in prison, so he put the arm on the Scottish Justice Secretary Kenny MacAskill to release him. And released Mr. al-Megrahi was, right into a hero’s welcome hosted by terrorist thug Col. Gadhafi in Tripoli.
So much for the British government’s repeated lies that it had nothing to do with Scotland’s release of a mass murderer. Here’s hoping Britain’s looming Tory government values the special relationship more than the Labour nitwits.**
**’Puter further hopes our government wises up to the special relationship as well. Next time, get the Queen something a bit nicer than an iPod, Mr. President.
Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.
’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.
The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.
His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.
He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.
Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.
‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.