The Associated Press, in its ongoing attempts to break news stories well over a week old, has basically concluded that ACORN is dying, if not already dead. Let us certainly hope so. We all love to see a blood-sucking parasite drop off dead.

And the President, who learned all he could from ACORN, has been silent on the entire issue. This, actually, is probably for the best. If he offers words of reassurance or support for ACORN, he will be carved up into pieces by conservatives (and likely the Gormogons). If he condemns ACORN, he will be carved into pieces for having been a poster child of theirs for years. ‘Puter will handle that. The President knows he’s screwed either way if he says anything.

Let us review.

First, ACORN founder Wade Rathke resigned in disgrace when it was discovered his own brother Dale embezzled $948,607 from ACORN treasuries. Only a quarter of it has been recovered, and Wade’s attempts to keep this secret failed, resulting in that resignation. However, that resignation put Bertha Lewis in charge. Ms. Lewis said at the time “Now that this is under our watch, we are putting financial auditors in place, legal counsel in place, a strong management team in place to make sure this organization moves forward for another 38 years.”

Shortly thereafter there were accusations that fictitious names were being gathered to bolster Democratic support, in clear violation of its non-partisan funding requirements.

Then came some voter fraud evidence, when registration cards turned up with the same handwriting in several cases.

More spectacularly, ACORN offices in Baltimore were bomb-shelled when a covert video sting revealed employees trying to assist a bogus pimp and prostitute with solid tax evasion advice for a child prostitution ring composed of illegal aliens.

Then similar videos showed up in Washington, DC.

And then New York.

And now San Diego.

On Friday, Ms. Lewis participated in a radio interview in New York in which she displayed the characteristics of her strong management team (put into place to ensure no more ACORN disasters would occur) by concluding that all of this is the Republicans’s fault “because they are out of power now.”

Wrong answer, Ms. Lewis. You screwed up. You think it was Rush Limbaugh who got ACORN fired from the Census? You think it was Sarah Palin who tricked the HUD into initiating a legal investigation into where its money has gone? Was it Mitt Romney who triggered over three-dozen independent state attorneys general into ripping apart illegal practices in your local offices? Or Dick Cheney who voted overwhelmingly to cut off your federal funding?

Tomorrow, you can look at yourself in the mirror and say “Yes, I am the single reason ACORN will not last 38 months, let alone another 38 years.” You did a nice job at the helm, by steering the whole thing into a series of oak trees.

Let us be fair. You succeeded in one area. You managed to get the 2009 Senate to its first major bipartisan agreement to throw your organization’s corrupt ass onto the curb.

Enjoy that success. You earned all of it.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.