“Savings” Goes Po-Mo
The Obama Administration touted the $787 billion “stimulus” plan claiming it would “create or save” 600,000 jobs by the end of summer, and up to 4,000,000 jobs overall. Leaving aside for the moment that the economy is already turning around before any of the $787 billion has been spent, ‘Puter wonders how exactly one proves a job is saved, a point made succinctly elsewhere.
And here’s why ‘Puter wonders about tracking something that’s been “saved.” President Obama and the Democrat controlled Congress are pushing through a CBO estimated $1.0 trillion health care reform package. But President Obama is planning on paying for his plan with $950 billion in undisclosed future “savings.”
Future “savings” are not real savings, nor are future “savings” guaranteed. The only “savings” ‘Puter recognizes come through reduced current year spending. If President Obama can show actual, guaranteed $950 billion in spending cuts, then fine. But he can’t, because Congress controls spending, and Congressmen loves them their pork. Congress has made its reputation on pushing unpayable obligations onto future generations, and Congress isn’t going to stop because President Obama asks them nicely. President Obama’s health care plan is going to cost taxpayers $1.0 trillion dollars in addition to our current burden. There will be no spending cuts, and his alleged savings are illusory.
To mean anything, savings must equal spending cuts. If ‘Puter’s readers fall for President Obama’s “spending” sweet talk (especially after having fallen for his “hope and change” schtick), then his readers are fools.
Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.
’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.
The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.
His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.
He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.
Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.
‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.