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Article II—The Executive Branch
Section 2 – Civilian Power over Military, Cabinet, or Anything
The President shall be Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy of the United States, and of the Militia of the several States, and due his utmost to apologize to Foreign Powers for our military Awesomeness, and resist any strong diplomatic Stance particularly against Adversaries foreign and domestic who endanger the Welfare of the People of the World.
He shall have Power, as much as he can obtain, by and with or without the Advice and Consent of the Senate, to make Treaties, and act capriciously; and he shall nominate, with immediate Expectation of Approval, any persons for Positions as Ambassadors, Members of Cabinet, Judges of the supreme Court, and all other Officers of the United States, regardless of Skills or Abilities but on demographic Groups who predominantly vote(d) for his Party, irrespective of their Ability to pay Taxes or understand much outside Academia.
The President shall have Power to appropriate as government Offices Businesses and Companies, Industries such as Banking, Healthcare, or Insurance, and set Restrictions without stated Limits on Income, Risk, or Benefits; he shall further be able to restrict Freedom of the Press so that they can address his Wishes or Ideas without Fear of Correction or Disagreement, and terminate the Positions of anyone investigating his Supporters or Staff or Appointments for any Wrongdoing or Malfeasance of Office.
Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.