The Czar is well aware that POTUS Obama reads this blog, and very few others. So this is a private message to him. If you are not him, please scroll down and check out the uber-cool ragtime player video the Volgi put up there.

Everyone else gone? Great. It is just you and the Czar, Mr. President.

As you embark on your tour of the muslim world, begging them not to hate us because we are, as you incorrectly boast, one of the largest muslim nations in the world, you have insulted Israel, blessed Iranian mania, and plan to say something apologetic about Dresden, and all that…

…you are no doubt aware that a very-likely-to-be-him audio recording by bin Laden himself has appeared in which he excoriates you as strongly as he ever did Bush.

You have probably asked yourself “Are they more likely to listen to him, or me?” After all, you have done nothing but say nice things about muslims, and yet the violence continues. Why?

The Czar can reduce it down very simply for you, as he has done so often here. Read these words: No matter what you do, they will not be your friend. The Czar knows that it is important to you that the world love you. In fact, it may be that you want nothing more than for all people to love you, like some Disney-esque boat ride.

You have shown great capacity recently in embracing the harsh realities of the Presidency, which has strongly divided the Left in some cases. So this is another one: no matter how hard you try, whatever what you say or do, they want nothing more to throw rocks at you because you represent the United States.

So get over it, move on, and start running our country the way it should be done, and not worrying so much about the cotillion-planning committee that is Europe, or the tribal idiocy that represents so much of the Middle East and Asia.

As President, you have sworn to believe—in so many words—that we matter more than they do.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.