Janet Napolitano says that Canadas slipshod security was critical in aiding the 9/11 attacks. Canadians, by and large, throw a pretty big fit, but she later adds that the Canadian border is just as screwed up as Mexicos. When the Canadian goverment demands an apology, she openly regrets that the Canadians are too stupid to understand what she meant. Napolitano spokesperson Sean Smith says that the DHS Secretary meant to say that she was thinking of something else and would have phrased things differently.
Vice President Joe Biden, when asked about the Presidents assurances on Swine Flu, states he personally would screw that and stay the hell out of anything that had people in it. Biden spokesperson Elizabeth Alexander says that Vice President meant to say that he agrees completely with the President.
Biden also blurts out the secret location where the US executive branch sets up its emergency underground command facility for the Vice President, in the event the President is missing in action. The ever-busy Ms. Alexander says that he meant to refer to a not-at-all secret upstairs workspace.
Sonia Sotomayor makes a blatantly racial comment, and Obama (Sotomayors spokesperson) says he is certain she would have restated her comment.
When will the Presidents men and women start speaking for themselves, rather than having people explain what they were supposed to have said?
Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.