The Media Has Round Heels for President Obama
The Obama Administration is lifting the Bush Administration’s ban on federal funding of scientific research using embryonic stem cells other than from a few select lines.
ABC News, however, takes it upon itself to parrot the Obama Administration’s position as Gospel truth. Much of the bias here is more in what is not said than in what is said.
President Obama is letting science, not politics be our guide, says ABC. Except that President Obama is simply making the opposite political choice from that of President Bush. Bush is political, while Obama is scientific. And did anybody to think to ask the follow up question, “If that’s the case Mr. President, then when can we expect your administration to accept the case against global warming?”
Researchers are ecstatic. Of course. President Obama has whipped out his (metaphorical) public teat for researchers to suckle at. Now the researchers don’t have to convince universities and private sources of the merit of their research.
Michael J. Fox and others with incurable diseases and catastrophic injuries are excited as well. No doubt. Anything that raises hope of a cure, no matter how far fetched, is latched on to. ‘Puter sympathizes, but doesn’t think public funding of research dependent on destroying human life is the answer. Especially when such research can either be privately funded (as it has been), or conducted using alternative stem cell lines and sources (e.g., adult stem cells, placental cell, umbilical cord blood, etc.).
The truth is that nothing in the Bush Administration’s order prevented researchers from doing research on any embryonic stem cells they wished. The researchers simply had to fund it from private or other governmental sources, and not on the backs of the American taxpayer. This is hardly the benighted, backwards approach ABC News and President Obama portray.
Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.
’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.
The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.
His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.
He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.
Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.
‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.