The Senate confirmed Timothy Geithner as Secretary of the Treasury. Of course, this is the same man who failed to pay his own taxes that we’re now putting in charge of the nation’s finances. So what is this telling the world? That you can avoid paying your taxes and we’ll sweep that under the rug because it was an “honest mistake” (Obama, 26 Jan 2009) but of course, it’s illegal for the rest of us so don’t do it. Or maybe, he’s saying that he believes that we shouldn’t be paying Social Security or Medicare taxes because those programs are broken and therefore didn’t pay those himself….hmmm….I wonder….
GorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including subsidizing this website. Some of the products he has introduced from the future include oven mitts, the Guinness widget, Oxy-Clean, and Dr. Pepper. Due to his immense cybernetic brain, GorT is able to produce a post in 0.023 seconds and research it in even less time. Only ’Puter spends less time on research. GorT speaks entirely in zeros and ones, but occasionally throws in a ڭ to annoy the Volgi. He is a massive proponent of science, technology, and energy development, and enjoys nothing more than taking the Czar’s more interesting scientific theories, going into the past, publishing them as his own, and then returning to take credit for them. He is the only Gormogon who is capable of doing math. Possessed of incredible strength, he understands the awesome responsibility that follows and only uses it to hurt people.