After all, Sen. Biden once referred to Sen. Obama as “the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy.” Not exactly post racial rhetoric. Sen. Biden also said that Sen. Obama is “not yet ready for the presidency.” Could this be any easier for the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy Attack Machine?
Remember the Super Bass-O-Matic ’76 from the old SNL skit? Well, Sen. Biden’s the real deal: a Super Gaffe-O-Matic ’08. Maybe Sen. McCain (R-AZ) can roll out Gov. Jindal (R-LA) to answer Sen. Biden’s observation that “you cannot go to a 7-Eleven or a Dunkin’ Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent.“
Additionally, and not a small thing, Sen. Biden is a serial plagiarist. Sen. Biden admitted to plagiarism while in law school at Syracuse. Also, in 1987 while running for the Democratic presidential nomination, Sen. Biden lifted wholesale portions of British politician Neil Kinnock’s writing.
Biden’s from Delaware, too. Not exactly a swing state these days, nor an electoral vote powerhouse.
On the upside for Sen. Obama, Sen. Biden is experienced in foreign affairs and has been on the national stage for many years. This may help plug the perceived experience gap in Sen. Obama’s resume.
Lord knows Sen. Obama needed a veep pick who had ANY sort of experience whatsoever, particularly in foreign policy. In theory Sen. Biden doesn’t seem to be the best veep pick Sen. Obama could have made, but in reality Sen. Biden may have been Sen. Obama’s only pick. The Democrat selection pool was a mile wide and an inch deep, full of unserious people with dangerous “solutions” to America’s current difficulties.
Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.
’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.
The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.
His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.
He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.
Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.
‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.