Perhaps this explains why “Republicans” are having a hard time winning elections these days. It gives one pause as to what young Andrew picked up about conservatism at home from his father. (And yes, I know Andrew hasn’t spoke to his father in some time, what with Dad dumping Mom and all.)
I truly feel for Giuliani the Lesser, what with meritocracy screwing him out of his richly deserved professional golfing career. I mean, he really wanted it, and The Man won’t let him have it. It’s not fair! It seems that now lawyers believe one is a victim and is due compensation if one can’t compete on the merits.
And, kudos to Master Giuliani’s attorney, Robert Ekstrand, Esq., for somehow turning “I got cut from the team. You owe me. Put me back on the team or pay me.” into 198 pages of complaint. Genius!
In answer to the initial question posed, due to his skill and work ethic, Tiger would have never been in this position in the first place.
N.B., I base this post solely on the linked ESPN story above. Young Andrew’s complaint is not currently available online, and my take could be proven wrong. But I doubt it.
Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.
’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.
The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.
His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.
He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.
Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.
‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.