Most Americans—and by far, most—think Democrats’ current college plans are laughable at best. A few coastal clusters, to be sure, think both Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton have great ideas, but most people are just shaking their heads and wondering what the hell they’re thinking.

Hillary Clinton has proposed the federal government pay states $350 billion over 10 years to reduce fees. This is like offering to pay a car dealership a large amount of cash to keep costs down on your new purchase. Sure they will.

In fact, what Hillary Clinton fails to acknowledge is that federal money pouring into colleges from grants, student loans, and other sources is effectively the cause of high college tuition. Anyone taking a few moments to look into the breakdown costs of college tuition finds a lot that’s objectionable, from eclectic offerings like Lesbian Studies to nonsense high-staff departments containing the word Diversity in their titles. Colleges have been receiving so much money they literally can’t find plausible places to spend it anymore: a sure sign of a bubble ready to collapse.

Hillary Clinton of course will pay for this with that seemingly endless supply of free money, the “rich,” who by this point must consist of anyone still employed full-time by a company.

Doesn’t Clinton realize that spending money to reduce costs is like putting a fire out with sprayed gasoline?

Bernie Sanders is no better. He wants to make public colleges tuition free. Free college! But of course, this only is true for public colleges, which comprise 33% of all colleges and universities in the US. Sanders intends to pay for this with $70 billion a year in taxes, which is about $111 million per school per year. This won’t cover it, of course, any more than it helped public grade and high schools improve by giving them huge dollar amounts in the 1990s.

Sanders also intends to find this money by raising taxes on the “rich,” Evidently, he also didn’t read The Giving Tree to the end, because ultimately the tree was cut down and died.

As a result, Americans are baffled: don’t Clinton and Sanders realize the rich will never be able to pay for all of this?

The Czar theorizes that the problem is even more basic: neither Clinton nor Sanders have any idea what college actually costs.

America: Mrs. Clinton, what does college actually cost a student per year?

Clinton: I have no idea. It’s been years since Chelsea went, and we had a donor pay for all of it.

America: Guess.

Clinton: If I had to guess? A college freshman would pay, with room and board, probably $50,000 an hour. That’s what I charge for some speeches. That seems fair.

And Bernie Sanders would play like some scene from Rain Man:

America: Senator, what does college actually cost a student per year?

Sanders: Who knows! A thousand dollars.

America: Um. Okay, what does this candy bar cost?

Sanders: A thousand dollars.

So when Clinton talks about raising all this money, she doesn’t realize it’s a hell of a lot of money. She has no concept of what college actually costs, how much people pay, how hard it is to save, and how any of it all works. Forget paying a year of tuition: Clinton would have less financial difficulty buying a university. This is a person so far off the deep-end in to the world of the filthy rich that none of this means anything to her.

And Sanders is the opposite extreme. He assumes a mere $70 billion will eliminate $1 trillion in student debts, the same way your bank agrees to accept a shiny new quarter in lieu of paying off your entire mortgage balance, because he’s still living in the groovy 1960s, dude, where college was only a few hundred bucks a semester and you could pay for it working part time as a soda jerk. Far out, man.

Americans are right to shake their heads in disgust at the Democrats’ utterly clueless college plans; it isn’t that they really believe America’s wealthy have all this cash: it’s that they have no idea how much cash any of this really is.