With the “Guns of August” booming, your humble minion has done me some pondering. Not to brag, but I do believe I may have just come up with a “unified theory” for understanding the world around us. From my vantage point here at the Trailer-Park-at-the-Edge-of-Town, I submit for your noble consideration:

Exhibit A:

There have been over 1,900 Ukrainian civilians killed in the “recent unpleasantness” in eastern Ukraine. The pro-Russian rebels have shot down a commercial airliner, publicly paraded captured Ukrainian soldiers, and committed all manner of other abuses. Russia says that, yes, there are Russian citizens in eastern Ukraine, maybe even some off-duty soldiers, but hey, they’re on vacation. Those columns of tanks? Well, that’s sorta like when Bill Murray and Harold Ramis commandeered that pimped-out RV in Stripes, to take the gals on a trip to Bavaria, right? The Russian government thinks we should all chill and let the hilarity ensue.

Reaction from world media, important-European-capitals-we-like-to-visit, Barack Obama: collective yawn/ chirping crickets

Exhibit B:

Last Friday Hamas summarily and publicly executed around 18 of their fellow Palestinians. Hooded, and with hands tied, some were dragged to a park and shot, while others were displayed and shot outside a mosque. Gazans who witnessed these executions took lots of photos and video.

Reaction from world media, important-European-capitals-we-like-to-visit, Barack Obama: collective yawn/ chirping crickets

Exhibit C:

Israeli rockets kill some Palestinian civilians while retaliating against rockets fired from Gaza, a very densely populated city.

Reaction from world media, important-European-capitals-we-like-to-visit, Barack Obama: anti-Israeli demonstrations and graffiti [think: Juden Rauch] in important-European-capitals-we-like-to-visit, wrenching coverage of the civilian dead, denunciations, boycotts organized, calls for Israel to exercise restraint

Exhibit D:

In the aftermath of the killing of Michael Brown in Ferguson, MO, much criticism has been aimed at the pale skin color of the mayor, police chief, most of the police force and 5/6 of the city council, unlike the town itself, which is +/-60% black. The assumption seems to be that African-Americans would never, ever vote for a white person. Therefore a white person in a position of power in a majority-black area must be simply illegitimate. So had the cop been black, would this never have made the news outside St. Louis?

Reaction from world media, important-European-capitals-we-like-to-visit, Barack Obama: denunciations from important-European-capitals-we-like-to-visit, wrenching coverage of the dead man’s family, calls for the police force to be demilitarized, Attorney General dispatched

My “unified theory” for understanding the world around us is, drum-roll, please: as long as anybody does bad/distasteful/unpleasant things to people like them, it’s all good; however, if bad/distasteful/unpleasant things are done to people unlike them, well now, let me be clear, that will not be tolerated.

Try this thought exercise: Russia can invade/occupy/mistreat fellow pale Slavic-speakers, but imagine if they invaded/occupied….oh, say, South Africa? Can we say poor optics?

Or imagine Israel conducting public executions of hooded Palestinians in Jerusalem. The world, rightly, would be outraged. But Hamas is not held to any such standard?

Well, Your Czarness, what say you?

Yours from the Doublewide,
JAB