Where’s the Beef?!?

The reason America loves her First Ladies is because in addition to playing a role as a partner to the President in his role as head of state as America’s hostess and America’s ‘better half,’ modern First Ladies get behind an important public cause and attempt to make an impact on that cause during their time in the White House.

Mrs. Carter was a mental health advocate. Mrs. Reagan’s ‘Just Say No’ [to drugs] campaign is not only seared into the collective unconscious of Generation X, but Dr. J. must say that it was an effective and impactful campaign played a role decreasing drug use by young people of our generation compared to those who came of age in the late 60s and 70s. Mrs. Barbara Bush was a strong proponent of literacy.

Perhaps the second most remembered episode of Diff’rent Strokes, after
the one with Gordon Jump as the friendly neighborhood child predator.

Mrs. Clinton, Dr. J. isn’t sure as she spent most of her time initially trying to be co-President, and then fighting off scandals. According to Wikipedia, she found some time to to chair Save America’s Treasures. Dr. J. doesn’t remember that, but hey, when is Wikipedia ever wrong?

Just say no to J.D. Salinger. Holden Caulfield was a whiny bitch.

Mrs Laura Bush brought education back to the fore, and in addition raised awareness regarding women’s health, meaning heart disease and other actual health issues that affect women, rather than so-called womyn’s health which seems to be all about asking ‘da Man’ to force Catholic schools, hospitals and Catholic owned private businesses pay for birth control and abortions for women who can more than provide for themselves.

This brings us to Mrs. Obama. Mrs. Obama has taken upon herself the very worthy cause of childhood obesity. Obesity is epidemic in our nation, and dangerously so among our youth. The problem with Mrs. Obama’s approach to her cause the heavy handed nature of her implementation.

Other First Ladies had a gentle touch to their cause celebré. Dr. J. still has fond memories of the very special episode of Diff’rent Strokes and still sees posters with Mrs. B. Bush and the Muppets on library walls in different corners of these United States.

The problem with Mrs. Obama is that she is not effective in delivering her message because of a combination of heavy handedness and unrealistic expectations.

She talks about gardening and produce when the worst afflicted live in urban areas with little safe space to ‘community garden’ and her husband’s energy policies make fresh fruits and vegetables more, rather than less, expensive. Also, given that there are limited restrictions on how food stamps are used, EBT users, like the rest of us, preferentially reach for calorie dense foods. If we’re picking up the tab for the lest fortunate, as ‘Puter has said in the past, through reasonable restrictions, we can guide them towards good choices. After all, it is our money, not theirs that they are being fed with. Her appearances on Disney Channel and elsewhere have not resonated effectively with many of  America’s youth. She’s come across as ‘pushy’ and ‘bossy’ in the eyes of media pundit Lil Resident.

Case the first, her recent appearance on Jay Leno alongside Gabby Douglas. When Gabby was talking about treating herself to an Egg McMuffin™after winning the individuall all-around gold medal, Mrs. Obama had to interrupt her in a ‘friendly way’ to point out that eating an Egg McMuffin™ is not making a healthy choice. The girl has less body-fat than Paul Ryan and a world class athlete. She can have a pint of Haagen Daaz and she’ll be fine for Pete’s sake.

Pictured with Jay Leno is Olympic gold medalist Nadia Comaneci and her
Securitate minder…wait, sorry, wrong century. That’s Gabby Douglas and
First Lady Michelle Obama. Please excuse Dr. J.’s ‘Biden Moment.’

The problem is that she breaks the cardinal rule of engagement on the Tonight Show, that is that when you’ve had you’re turn to talk, you let Jay interview the next guest. If he needs a foil, he will call on you. Mom Mom J. (Dr. J.’s paternal grandmother) used to watch the Tonight Show every night, eventually passing away in her sleep on her sofa watching an episode during Johnny Carson’s final month on the air. If you busted out your Ouija board, she would tell you that once the guests have had their turn, they need to STFU. 

But that is rather old news, and not what prompted Dr. J. to off today was this recent article from the Daily Examiner that shows that Mrs. Obama doesn’t get it with regard to nutritious eating.

The FLOTUS is hosting a ‘Kids’ State Dinner’ where they will be treated to Kale chips, followed by a Quinoa Black Bean and Corn Salad, Cabbage Sloppy Joes and Baked Zucchini Fries, followed by a fruit smoothie and fruit salad for dessert. The problem with this meal is that, besides Kale Chips being absolutely disgusting, the meal appears to contain a very limited amount of protein (largely from the black beans) and a very high carbohydrate load. Furthermore, there is neither dairy, nor any form of meat associated with this meal. Kids, unlike adults are growing, and proteins are essential for their anabolic metabolism. Amino acids are the bricks while carbs and fats are the fuel and mortar.

Furthermore, while Dr. J. is a believer in a high fiber diet, as both a bringer of satiety and as a colon cancer preventative, because we are never too young to start taking care of our colon. However, the fiber load in this meal is such that Dr. J. would not want children riding in the Imperial Shuttle with him. He’d have to buy back Mrs. Dr. J.’s old convertible if he wanted his olfactory bulb to remain intact. He might even have to borrow some Brawny from ‘Puter.

A red jalapeno pepper as garnish, for a wee tot? Are you kidding? 
And the Sloppy Joe? All bun, likely enriched with high fructose corn-syrup. 
Also, please recall that President Reagan sagely stated that ketchup was 
a vegetable. 

Perhaps the FLOTUS could have brought in a nutritionist rather than hand-pick recipes provided by a handful of vegans from across our great nation.

h/t Drudge

About Dr. J.

Dr. J. was born the son of a New Atlantean sharecropper who cornered the market on notoriously delicious seaweed Himanthalia elongata (popularly known as Thongweed). With his newly minted seaweed fortune, Mr. J. the Elder sent his son to attend the Academy of Sorcery, Alchemy and Surgery where the good doctor apprenticed with the finest sorcerer surgeons in New Atlantis. Dr. J.'s areas of expertise grew to include bleeding, cutting for stone, trephination, medical divination with outstanding spatial and temporal resolution, cybernetic sorcery and medicinal alchemy. When King Orin of Atlantis fell ill with the Ick, Dr. J. stepped in with an elixir he devised from a combination of minerals, herbs and saps. Curing the king, Dr. J. gained significant notoriety which afforded him the luxury of time to devote himself to his side hobbies which include porpoise racing, the study of supply-side economics, cooking and raising his lovely merchildren alongside his lovely bride the archconservative Mrs. Dr. J.