Cougars, And Not The Fun Kind

It appears nature, red in tooth and claw, has again thrown a kink into the belief system of those who think that man and nature can peacefully coexist. Glenn Reynolds at Instapundit has noted the accelerating trend of predators becoming more brazen as their familiarity with man increases. See here and here, for example.

In the latest instance, a mountain lion entered a Colorado couple’s bedroom while they were sleeping and made a meal out of the couple’s 12 year old Labrador retriever, Scout. Apparently Scout did not live up to the vigilance his name implies. Mr. Darwin, call your service.

The phenomenon of folks moving into animals’ habitats, then being surprised that animals act like, well, animals, is not new. I think people who move to bear country who are surprised when Yogi and Boo Boo want to treat their trashcans like Ranger Smith’s picnic baskets are well meaning ignoramuses. They’re kin to those who move next to a cattle farm for the tranquillity, then moan that the flies and odors are bothersome. Or the geniuses who are shocked that their multimillion dollar McMansions with a stunning view of the 7th tee attract golf balls.

People, there’s a reason our forebears tried to wipe out large predators (and in large measure succeeded) like wolves, cougars/mountain lions, grizzlies and Demi Moore. These predators and man cannot peacefully coexist, particularly once the predators start to associate man with food. State and federal officials should cease reintroduction programs on predators, and allow aggressive management of predators through hunting and relocation, where possible.

Or, we could all just move to the cities (except Chicago and NYC) and watch nature as God intended. On NatGeo from our sofas.

And a freebie for the pictured Ms. Gibson. Check out her delightfully titled book on Amazon, if you’re a wannbe cougar. Or wanna be with a wannabe cougar.

About 'Puter

Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this. ’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies. The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig. His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred. He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently. Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet. 'Puter suggests the Czar suck it.