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Windfall Profits, and Other Liberal Myths

The Gormogons Posted on August 28, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 28, 2008

George Will’s column today offers some fascinating statistics giving lie to the Democrats’ contention that Big Oil is sticking it to the Little Guy. Will writes:

Obama thinks government is not getting a “reasonable share” of oil companies’ profits, which in 2007 were, as a percentage of revenues (8.3 percent), below those of US manufacturing generally (8.9 percent). Exxon Mobil pays almost as much in corporate taxes to various governments as the bottom 50 percent of American earners pay in income taxes. Exxon Mobil does make $1,400 a second in profits – hear the sharp intakes of breath from liberals with pursed lips – but pays $4,000 a second in taxes and $15,000 a second in operating costs.

What’s the takeaway here, ‘Puter? Well, here goes. ExxonMobil pays more taxes each year than everyone in the United States making $32,000 or less pays in federal income tax. The oil industry’s per dollar profits are less than half the profits of the pharmaceutical/biotech and banking industries. Even food service and telecom have a higher profit margin. ExxonMobil makes so much money because it invests and spends so much money.

Based on Will’s column, ExxonMobil spends 10 times as much on operating costs than it makes in profit. It pays over 2.5 times more in taxes than it makes in profits.

What does ExxonMobil spend its money on? Well, how about salaries, for a start? ExxonMobil employs nearly 81,000 people world wide, including 30,000 folks right here at home. Some are management, some engineers, some blue collar folks. All make a decent living. Those here feed, shelter and clothe their families with their hard-earned ExxonMobil paychecks. And they pay taxes. A cap on earnings would cause any reasonable company to look to conserve funds, generally resulting in hiring freezes or layoffs.

Liberals want to take money from ExxonMobil and redistribute it to the poor. In reality, they’ll be taking money out of the pockets of ExxonMobil’s employees and shareholders to fund their Marxist income redistribution schemes. And who owns ExxonMobil stock? Many mutual funds and state pension plans, that’s who. Enjoy your dwindling retirement savings, America, courtesy of the liberal Democrats.

So, next time wild-eyed liberals start spouting about Big Oil and its windfall profits, set them straight. Facts have an annoying way of silencing the foolish.

Posted in Exxon, George Will, Liberals, Taxes

One Day At A Time

The Gormogons Posted on August 28, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 28, 2008

How ironic, and sad. Ms. Phillips would be better off following the advice offered by her 1970s sitcom’s title.

Schneider should take Ms. Phillips into his janitor’s closet and beat some sense into her with his keys-on-a-retractable-chain.

And Valerie Bertinelli was hot. Even Eddie Van Halen thought so. And he rocks.

Posted in Eruption, Mackenzie Phillips, One Day at a Time, Schneider, Van Halen

These are what will eventually make medicine affordable for everyone…

The Gormogons Posted on August 28, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 28, 2008

…provided we don’t crush these types of experiments with some gigantic government-run rationing program like those in Canada and Europe: [City Journal]

Posted in Health care

Great Moments In Teaching, Episode #42,719

The Gormogons Posted on August 27, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 27, 2008

Welcome back to school kids! It’s going to be a fun-tastic year here in good old Sodus Central School District in Upstate New York. Guess what? One of your teachers is going to be “transitioning genders!” Isn’t that great?

No one whould worry though, because the rights of the teacher supersede the rights of the kids not to be psychologically traumatized. Not to mention our union contract requires it. We’ve thoughtfully provided psychologists and counselors to steer your children through this disturbing experience.

Rant done. ‘Puter’s back. Bless the poor teacher who thinks he/she needs to reassign genders, but c’mon, school board. How about giving the teacher a year off with pay to transition and then bringing the teacher back with his/her new sex? Teacher’s happy. Kids are not traumatized. Union can’t complain. Everyone wins.

To quote the insufficient, meaningless excuse schools give us when they raise our property taxes: “Don’t worry. It’s for the children.”

Posted in Bad Bad Teacher, Teachers, Transsexuals, Unions

Ai grijă, Moldovo!

The Gormogons Posted on August 27, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 27, 2008


Once again, Russia is rattling sabers at Moldova.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Because I did. Transdnistria is the new South Ossetia.

Posted in Georgia (Sakartvelo), Moldova, Russia

The Gormogons Posted on August 27, 2008 by GorTAugust 27, 2008

Ok, the Olympics are over and done and it was a good time regardless of the rhythmic-synchronized-judged “sports”, fakery, propaganda, etc. But the drama continues. Kudos to the folks over at Stryde Hax on continuing to pursue this underage Chinese competition scandal. I have to admit that reading through the evidence and ‘net trail they uncovered is pretty telling. If you’ve got a few minutes to dive in, I recommend it and then be the judge – were they so driven to compete at a gold level (and then to keep the gold medal) that they are engaging is this level of coverup? Can they maintain this without leaks? Is He Kexin just jonesing for a beer? My recommendation to the Chinese government from past observances: make sure you don’t try making the fake ids in your AP Art class.

Posted in Uncategorized

You’re A Racist If You Vote For McCain

The Gormogons Posted on August 27, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 27, 2008

‘Puter intended to write about this editorial in the Wall Street Journal yesterday, but noting all the hullaballoo on the interwebs about the issue, decided not to do so. Thinking about it last night, though, ‘Puter got good and riled up at the notion that he’s being tarred as a racist for considering voting for a mainstream, Republican, war-hero candidate.

Democrats have lost their collective minds, putting out the notion that white people are racist if they choose not to vote for Sen. Obama. You know the website Stuff White People Like? Well, I can tell you what’d be number one on the list of Stuff White People Hate, and that’d be being falsely accused of racism. Think moderate Democrats and Independents have been hard to sway to this point? Just wait until they figure out that Democrats think they’re racist AND stupid. The idea that the only reason a white person would vote against Sen. Obama (racism) is racist in and of itself. Apparently, to the Democrats, anyone who doesn’t vote for Sen. Obama is the second coming of Bull Connor.

Just in case the Democrats’ message people are reading this blog, here’s a list of a few of the reasons ‘Puter can’t bring himself to vote for Sen. Obama. Note that Sen. Obama’s half-blackness is not among them.

(1) Obama is friends with domestic terrorists, dedicated to destroying the United States.
(2) Obama’s tax policy is Marxist income redistribution, thinly veiled.
(3) Obama supports leaving babies to die, not merely abortion.
(4) Michelle Obama hates the United States
(5) Obama thinks the United States should negotiate with evil
(6) Obama lacks experience

Need ‘Puter go on? But, ‘Puter guesses that really, despite many legitimate reasons not to vote for Sen. Obama, ‘Puter is fooling himself. ‘Puter must just hate black people.

It couldn’t be that Sen. Obama is not a good candidate, and the Democrats bought into his cult of personality and are now having buyers’ remorse. Nah. Racism explains everything, and neatly fits the Democrat world view that whitey is racist.

To say that the current Democrat position belittles the tragedy of American racism and the bravery of those who fought against it (pictured) understates the matter significantly.

Posted in Barack Obama, Bullshit racism accusations, Election '08, Old Johnny Mac, Rant, Stuff White People Like, Whitey

And meanwhile on the Black Sea…

The Gormogons Posted on August 27, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 27, 2008

…the Russians say, “Bah, we are not intimidated by your puny warships. Behold our making-stuff-blow-up skills!“

Posted in Georgia (Sakartvelo), Poland, Russia, Turkey, U.S. Navy, Ukraine

Turkey becoming a responsible player?

The Gormogons Posted on August 27, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 27, 2008


This columnist provides more evidence that Russian aggression in Georgia may be producing a re-thinking of foreign policy in Turkey that can only be welcome to NATO, America, and the West. Turkey is potentially one of the few large, capable states in the Black Sea region with the ability to materially assist in checking Russian expansionism. However, the AKP’s foreign policy has been all over the map—now trying to improve relations with Iran, now trying to appease the EU, generally following (if not cultivating) anti-American popular attitudes—showing the typical drift of a state unable to prioritize its interests.

Now, there’s only so far Turkey will likely go in the short term, given that Russia supplies most of its natural gas, but as this article I pointed you to last night suggests, the Republic has a range of national interests adversely affected from Russian expansionism around the Black Sea, making them a natural ally in a coalition containing a rogue Bear. Serious people in the U.S. and Turkish governments should be sitting down and discussing how we can help rebuild our formerly strong relationship.

Posted in Russia, Turkey

Me, me, me

The Gormogons Posted on August 27, 2008 by GorTAugust 27, 2008

Admittedly, I’m not a Clinton (Hillary or Bill) fan by any means and I tend to be rather disenchanted by the current slate of American politicians. I tend to believe that when “politician” became a career and not just a civil service to one’s country before returning to one’s core job, is when the American political system began to fall apart. I still believe that it is the best system in the world and has accomplished a lot and inspired even more. So, with trepidation in my heart, I sat down and watched Hillary Clinton’s speech at the DNC last night. After 5 minutes the image to the right here (Veruca Salt, for those not in the know) came to mind followed quickly by Daffy Duck from 1001 Rabbit Tales episode screaming, “It’s mine you hear? Mine ALL MINE Get back in there. Down Down Down! Go Go Go! MINE MINE MINE!!!” She had paraded out everything about herself: her resume, her family, her philandering husband, her incomplete knowledge of American Civics 101 (who really passes the national budget and controls the purse strings?), etc. Only at the very end did she tie it to Obama. If I were a Hillary Clinton supporter, I’d be pissed. She looked and sounded (if you buy into everything she touted) like a capable candidate.

Taking a page from Ronald Reagan, the democrats are banking on the inspiration hope message that Obama delivers. The problem is, that Reagan backed it up with policies and programs that delivered results (i.e. tax cuts, facing down Communism in partnership with other democracies, etc.). Obama hasn’t outlined anything like that. Instead it’s “tomorrow will be better” when taxes are raised and the government still faces budget shortfalls (both because of the poor tax policy and because the pork will still be in the budget), when the government controls your healthcare, when public schools teach our children under bigger unions, when you pay more for products because companies will be taxed for profits or required to put in place measures to address the unproven global warming scare, when gas prices remain high because the 7 or 8 cents profit on a $4 gallon of gas is just way too much (especially when those companies with that profit are investing heavily into cleaner gas and alternative energy). Can you feel the sarcasm yet? John McCain doesn’t thrill me either, but in the words of Patrick O’Brien, “don’t you know…you have to pick the lesser of two weevils”.

Posted in Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, Democrats, Hillary Clinton, Politics

BHL hammers…

The Gormogons Posted on August 27, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 27, 2008

…Putin’s brutal new Russia and worries the West isn’t up to it.

Posted in Russia

Russia & the Middle East

The Gormogons Posted on August 27, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 27, 2008

Some reasonable speculations from Robert Freedman at MESH on the Middle Eastern repercussions of Russia’s invading Georgia.

Posted in Georgia (Sakartvelo), Iran, Israel, Middle East, Russia, Syria, Turkey

The Gormogons Posted on August 27, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 27, 2008

Your Œcumenical Volgi has been trying to go easy on the foreign policy, as he knows that Russia’s invasion of Georgia has driven him mad and he’s gone a bit berserk in hijacking this fun little blog. However, if you have the slightest interest in the Ossetian War, you need to read this article by the estimable Middle East correspondent Michael Totten. And drop a few bucks in his PayPal jar. It’s easily the best piece of first-hand reportage I’ve seen. It reports credibly that Russia began two days of attacks violating their agreement with Georgia before Saakashvili sent troops to Tshkinvali, “starting” the war and more interestingly that those troops weren’t peacekeepers, but were trying to slow or stop a massive advancing Russian column. Read the whole thing. It’s fantastic.

Some side observations:

“A key tool that the Soviet Union used to keep its empire together, was pitting ethnic groups against one another.”

This is correct and even understated. Soviet “nationalities” policy was anything but the internationalist, cosmopolitan brotherhood of man that you’d expect Communism to deliver (And Mao’s Han empire is no different). Instead, it was careful to distinguish (and invent) distinctions between various peoples (most of whose histories had to have violence done to them to fit into the Marxist paradigm of history), then treat them as different units. Divide et impera, kids. A great example of this is how each Turkic republic was given borders which encompassed large numbers of other “nationalities” in order to keep their ethno-political homogeneity low. Also, despite the fact that Kazakh, Kyrgyz, Uzbek, Türkmen, et al., are closely related Turkic languages without substantial differences in phonology, they each received a slightly different Cyrillic alphabet in order to widen distinctions between groups and to diminish anyone’s ability to make a pan-Turanian appeal.

They didn’t try it in Central Asia because basically all the presidents of the newly independent countries were the former heads of the communist parties and they said we’re still following your line, Kremlin, we haven’t changed very much.

This gets to the heart of Russia’s approach to the world under the Putinshchina. The post-Soviet dictators of Central Asia—now that Türkmenbashi is dead, and with the possible exception of Karimov on certain things—are the perfect partners for Russia’s strongman-gangster government, as they make no bones about their states being much more than bagmen for the elites who run it. This is why Kazakhstan, e.g., poses no ideological threat to Russia.

Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov, among others, has claimed that there’s a new era of ideological competition and development models in the world. That’s not true. Authoritarianism is not an idea, but a technique; and the Mafia has long perfected the “development model” of getting rich by keeping productive people scared and skimming dough. Georgia, Ukraine, the Baltics, Moldova, etc., do, however threaten Russia—but not in the way its apologists argue. NATO’s “provocations” are not military. Russians can look at European militaries as well as anyone else (better, in fact) and know that Czech tanks aren’t going to be driving for Bryansk. The citizens of Leningrad aren’t losing sleep because ofterror at the thought of the Letto-Estonian Menace.

What keeps Putin and the siloviki up at night however is the thought, what if we lose control of this thing? And neighboring countries going democratic might give the Russian people provocative ideas. And the russkii narod is the real object of all Russian rulers’ fears. Best case: palatial spread in Cyprus where all the expropriated money is anyway. Worst case: lamppost, rope.

Posted in Central Asia, China, Czech Republic, Georgia (Sakartvelo), Kazakhstan, NATO, Putin that Chekist хуй, Russia

Can you read this now?

The Gormogons Posted on August 27, 2008 by GorTAugust 27, 2008


So while all the talking heads blather on about the DNC in Denver, I thought I’d do a little reading. Luckily, I found this OpEd piece by a personal favorite, Dr. Thomas Sowell (a remarkable man). He raises a good point – why can parents using little resources (many freely available on the internet) can home school their children and out-perform publicly paid teachers in institutions expending over $10,000 per child per year on education. Good question. Of course, the TV just panned to a supporter at the DNC with a hat reading, “Trust teachers, not test scores”. Uh huh. Maybe they should do some more reading of Dr. Sowell….maybe this piece?

Posted in Uncategorized

Florida, cradle of Nobelists

The Gormogons Posted on August 26, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 26, 2008

Or not. “Say, guys, that Hurricane Fay has left a foot of standing water on the street! Let’s go tubing!”

Meanwhile in an unnamed location, some skateboarders are still trying to use failure-analysis software to figure out what went wrong with their brilliant plans here. Perhaps one day, science will give us some insight.(via With Leather)

Posted in Dudez, Florida, Stupidity

Koba’s Ghost

The Gormogons Posted on August 26, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 26, 2008

Must-read from the great Sebag.

Posted in Georgia (Sakartvelo), Putin that Chekist хуй, Russia, Stalin

Barter System: Swapping Can Be Fun

The Gormogons Posted on August 26, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 26, 2008

‘Puter’s got an Atari 800 that he’s not using anymore. And check out his cool peripherals!

What can ‘Puter get for that?

And, do I have to report the sweet, sweet monkey-luvvin’ as payment in kind on my 1040? Just like the IRS to mess up a perfectly good transaction.

Posted in Atari, Barter, Sex, Taxes

Defensor Fidei

The Gormogons Posted on August 26, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 26, 2008

It’s nice to see the Roman Catholic Church hierarchy finally start enforcing Church doctrine. For too many years, Church leaders have stood idly by while nominally Catholic politicians have at best passively accepted abortion (see, e.g., Mario Cuomo) and at worst actively promoted it (see, e.g., Nancy Pelosi).

Archbishop Wuerl of the Archdiocese of Washington, D.C. recently castigated Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) for her comments on Meet the Press that misrepresented Church teaching as to when life begins.

Archbishop Chaput of the Archdiocese of Denver took down presumptive Democratic vice-presidential nominee Sen. Joe Biden (D-DE) for his pro-abortion position. Archbishop Chaput went so far as to state that Sen. Biden should not present himself for Communion.

Much of this is “inside baseball” for those who are not Catholic. However, whether or not you agree with the Church’s position on abortion, the Church’s position on the issue is clear. Abortion is never acceptable under any circumstances. If Rep. Pelosi and Sen. Biden do not wish to follow the Church’s teachings, they are free not to do so. However, as the Archbishops remind us, they are not entitled to present themselves as Catholics and mislead the faithful as to the Church’s true positions.

Would that more Cardinals, Archbishops and Bishops would uphold Church teachings in their flocks.

UPDATE: Edward Cardinal Egan, of the Archdiocese of New York, joins his fellow prelates condemning Rep. Pelosi’s dissemination of her erroneous interpretations of Church teaching on abortion. Are you paying attention, Archbishop Niederauer of Rep. Pelosi’s home Archdiocese of San Francisco?

Posted in Chaput, Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi, Roman Catholics

No disrespect to Jim Zorn…

The Gormogons Posted on August 26, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 26, 2008

…but here’s a touching piece on the man who should have been the Redskins’ coach this year.

Posted in Gregg Williams, Redskins, Sean Taylor

Narcoleptic?

The Gormogons Posted on August 26, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 26, 2008

This will keep you up nights.

Posted in Iran, Nukes

“Moldova, you’re next!”

The Gormogons Posted on August 25, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 25, 2008


…says Dima Medvedev? I wouldn’t be surprised. But of course, you know that, as you read it here first.

Posted in Moldova, Russia

Last One Out, Turn Off the Lights

The Gormogons Posted on August 25, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 25, 2008

Check out this little factoid via Megan McArdle of The Atlantic. Driving one million people (of 1.85 million total)out of your city in just 50 years is amazing. I don’t think even the Black Plague had that kind of kill rate.

With the economic powerhouses of Detroit and the State of Michigan (it’s the one that sort of looks like a mitten) absolutely lighting up the world, I’m surprised that Michiganders Gov. Granholm (D-MI) and Mayor Kilpatrick (D-MI, and likely to soon be a convicted felon) aren’t headlining at the Democratic National Convention.

Posted in Democrats, Michigan, Urban Decay, West Beirut (Detroit)

Crazy Lady Wept, Too

The Gormogons Posted on August 25, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 25, 2008

‘Puter’s fortunate enough to have an office (ground floor) with a window that looks out onto a parking lot. As ‘Puter works in a building shared with a debt-collection agency, ‘Puter gets to see some wacky stuff.

Today, there is a lady on her cell phone outside his window, weeping, and dabbing her overly-made up eyes with a tissue. Best part? The lady has wrapped herself in a Spiderman fleece throw.

I am also regularly treated to seeing a gentleman who actually drives a vehicle with an “I [heart] My Wife” bumper sticker. Hey, buddy. Maybe if you drive that car long enough, you’ll start to believe you love your wife, and your wife will give you your cojones back.

There has been a naked women in the communal ladies’ room applying her makeup. Also, we’ve discovered used pregnancy tests (positive, of course) left on the restroom counter. It’s a pleasant discussion to have with one’s landlord, trust ‘Puter. “Uhh, Landlord? Do you think you might be able to keep the sluts working next door out of the restrooms, please? Or at least make them clean up after themselves.”

You stay classy, debt collectors!

Posted in Crazy Lady, Losers, Work

‘Puter Wept

The Gormogons Posted on August 25, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 25, 2008

Out of joy. Not all Democrats are willing to roll over for teachers’ unions anymore. Check out Mickey Kaus’ piece at Slate (h/t Instapundit) for details of a forum that took place — heart be still — at the Democratic National Convention!

Maybe a new generation of Democrat leaders, seeing the horrendous impact of what unthinking cooperation with teachers’ unions has wrought on children, is taking a second look. Go get ’em.

Posted in Democrats, Instapundit, Kaus, Slate, Unions

Sen. Chauncey Gardner (D-IL)

The Gormogons Posted on August 25, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 25, 2008

‘Puter’s recently noted the astonishing similarities between Sen. Obama and Chance the Gardener, from Peter Seller’s great film Being There.

Aside from the sameness in sartorial style, the two men’s political philosophies seem to be equally devoid of content. Both are political neophytes. Both are media darlings. And both are men into whose utterances others read depth that does not exist.

Sen. Obama has given us such helpful guideposts as “We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.” and “We are the change that we seek.” This one’s a beaut, too: “If you’re walking down the right path and you’re willing to keep walking, eventually you’ll make progress.”

Chance gave us such gems as “[a]s long as the roots are not severed, all is well. And all will be well in the garden.” And the memorable “I like to watch.” Also, “There will be growth in the spring.”

And, similarly, both have fooled many people. But not all. Chance’s co-worker Louise, knowing Chance’s origins, saw through the media love affair and delivered the following Rev. Jeremiah Wright like, Bush-bashing rant.

It’s for sure a white man’s world in America. Look here: I raised that boy since he was the size of a piss-ant. And I’ll say right now, he never learned to read and write. No, sir. Had no brains at all. Was stuffed with rice pudding between th’ ears. Shortchanged by the Lord, and dumb as a jackass. Look at him now! Yes, sir, all you’ve gotta be is white in America, to get whatever you want. Gobbledy-gook!

The only difference appears to be that Chance may have been the Messiah, walking on water at the end of the film, but Sen. Obama’s clearly not.

Posted in Barack Obama, Being There, Chance the Gardener, Peter Sellers

Thank you, Sioux Falls!

The Gormogons Posted on August 25, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 25, 2008

The Gormogons thank you for responding to our appeal.

Everyone plan a vacation there now, please.

Posted in Gormogonica, South Dakota

Max Boot…

The Gormogons Posted on August 25, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 25, 2008


…makes good points here, but forgets anti-tank weapons. Javelins, Javelins, Javelins.

Posted in Eastern Europe, FGM-148 Javelin, Military aid

I haven’t always been a big Chris Patten fan…

The Gormogons Posted on August 25, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 25, 2008

…but this is lapidary. Here’s a taste, but read it all.

We Europeans seem to have forgotten our history. There were other times when we have stood by while a militaristic European power insisted that it had the right to intervene wherever it wanted to advance the interests of those who claimed shared ethnicity from the Baltics to the Caucasus. […]

It will be business pretty much as usual as Europeans prepare cheerfully in the years ahead for the Winter Olympics in Sochi, just up the road from the Russian missiles and tanks on Georgian soil. Meanwhile, Europeans will continue to talk about their crucial role in world affairs. […]

Posted in Europe, Georgia (Sakartvelo), NATO, Russia

In case you weren’t convinced…

The Gormogons Posted on August 25, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 25, 2008

…that Russia’s invasion of Georgia was a punitive expedition for their applying to NATO rather than a humanitarian gesture on behalf of their beloved South Ossetians, here’s a good bit of analysis from Pavel Felgenhauer (via David Frum @ NRO).

Posted in Georgia (Sakartvelo), NATO, Russia

Don’t set off too many fireworks in celebration.

The Gormogons Posted on August 25, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 25, 2008


Because, says veteran China watcher Gordon Chang here, the most likely result of China’s Olympic succès d’estime is going to lead to a more draconian police state at home, deep-freeze any reform ideas, and put the PRC’s post-2006 aggressive foreign policy on ‘roids.

St. Francis Xavier & Our Lady of Shéshān, ora pro nobis.

Posted in China

“…the worst idea since Greedo shooting first.”

The Gormogons Posted on August 24, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 24, 2008

In re Star Wars, about which every male born since, oh, 1965 or so, has a burning opinion he will share with you at the drop of a hat, Confucius* says: Every movie since the first has been worse. Lawrence Kasdan’s direction makes Empire look more sophisticated than Star Wars, but it’s not. It’s where the rot sets in. “Luke, I am your father,” is the hinge at which the bottom falls out, and it turns into reductive, b.s., Joseph-Campbell-smoking, pretentious crap. (And I say this as one who enjoyed Ewoks as a kid.)

George Lucas, I’ve held on the evidence of Star Wars and Raiders, is a Great Hack. An inspired genius, of sorts, when it comes to throwaway pulp material. But, like almost all hacks, he’d rather be an artiste. And that’s where the trouble came in. Once it all had to Mean Something, he resorted to all sorts of schematic and philosophical junk that was as out of place in his weightless, zippy worlds as a tarantula on a slice of angelfood (to borrow from a serious writer masquerading as a hack). In a perfect world, Lucas would have been cranking out lots of lower-budget Indy sequels, adapting the Phantom, Shadow, and Flash Gordon, and inventing his own new heroes of different ages and places. Instead, isolated from reality by the enormous amount of money he earned by (among other things) presciently retaining the merchandising rights to Star Wars, he sat around like an egomaniacal college sophomore, filling notebooks with Deep Thoughts and working them into his movies. And the leaden demi-profundities crushed the crystalline cleverness. (Then again, at least he never put that sentence in a movie. Still, I’ll take it over “Duhhhh, I hate sand.”) The single moment of wit recalling the wry, humane humor of Star Wars in The Phantom Menace was the Tusken Raiders taking potshots at the pod racers. And that’s where I got off.

Anyway, some years ago, I was very gratified to come across the following article by the late Richard Grenier (who wrote a very funny novel in addition to his journalism), in which he recounted his contemporary notes of Lucas’s speaking about Star Wars, which jibed perfectly with my childhood memories—that it was just a fun homage to the old serials of Buster Crabbe, et al.—which I’d begun to doubt over the years with Lucas’s insistence that it was an epic plot cycle conceived ab initio in nine parts. With apologizes that Blogger doesn’t easily provide for cuts to hide it behind, your Volgi presents it here for your edification and perhaps discernment of the the seeds of Lucas’s pretension. Art movies? Like THX 1138? (Is the Volgi alone in always being amused that the cops’ motorcycles sound exactly like TIE Fighters?)

*For those who came in late: 孔夫子 means Confucius, the given name of your Œcumenical Volgi (pictured above right).

January 17-19, 1997
Is ‘Star Wars’ the movie of doom?
By Richard Grenier
THE WASHINGTON TIMES

Is it the end? Are we doomed? Ever since the super-blockbuster series “Star Wars” was unleashed upon the world 20 years ago, have we been on the downward slope? Has it been all cheap thrills? Big money? No plot? No common sense? Was “Star Wars” the movie that destroyed Hollywood? Will the film’s technically revamped version to be released next week sound Hollywood’s final death knell? Or will Newsweek, which performed a magnificent mea culpa over Paula Jones just last week, owe us another mea culpa?

As I write, after all, a Hollywood movie leads the box office listing of every city of the known world. How about Shanghai? In Shanghai, Chinese movies really die, but Hollywood movies go through the roof.

As a rough rule of thumb, routine American movies used to make their money back in the U.S., while action movies went wild abroad, grossing double what they grossed at home. It’s often thought that the buying up of Hollywood studios by giant companies has created a profit consciousness the studios never had before. But from my experience Hollywood studios have always loved money—much as any successful company. And when film studio executives scrutinized their account sheets in this new age, and saw the money brought in by blockbuster action movies, they felt a stirring of the soul, and the industry entered a whole new phase.

In the last decade, the cost of making a movie went up and up—$20 million, $40 million, $80 million—but as long as the films brought in enough money to cover the outlay, flowers bloomed and birds sang in the trees.

But film company executives soon found that “Star Wars,” along with “Jaws,” had locked Hollywood into a real blockbuster mentality. Production figures that used to terrify executives did so no longer and they began swinging for the fences at every pitch. The small, modestly profitable film was out of the game. Moreover, along with the blockbuster action film that could easily gross $200 million, there developed a parallel industry in products carrying the film’s logo—toys, lunch boxes, soundtrack albums—that could bring in many millions more.

“’Star Wars’ irrevocably altered Hollywood esthetics,” pronounced Newsweek. “What [George] Lucas inaugurated was the triumph of kineticism over content, action over plot, comic-book simplicity over real-life complexity, and special effects over all. Lucas took his tempo from adolescent metabolism, and it was impossible to turn back the clock after that. And the jolts of adrenaline have been coming in ever faster intervals.“ ”‘Star Wars’ was the end of “one of the most fertile and exciting eras in the history of Hollywood filmmaking,” wrote Newsweek, apparently referring to the 1960s and early 1970s. But now “Star Wars” and its progeny have gone and ruined it all.

Now I personally don’t remember “The Great Spider Invasion,“ ”The Singing Nun,“ ”The Pom Pom Girls,” or “The Crater Lake Monster”—all made at the height of this fertile and exciting era of Hollywood filmmaking. But I’ve a feeling that they were absolute clinkers. In the present decadent era, on the other hand, in just this past year, we’ve had “The English Patient” and Arthur Miller’s “The Crucible.” Were these films still immersed in what Newsweek considers the post-“Star Wars” “depths of adolescent metabolism”? For that matter, just what is “adolescent metabolism?” A judgment like that requires some thought.

Whatever it is, it’s sold countless videocassette versions, best-selling Bantam novelizations, $4 billion in “Star Wars” merchandise, and is responsible for 963 sites on the World Wide Web, fan clubs, and innumerable collectibles. And this from a movie for which its author had no great hopes. Mr. Lucas has changed his account a bit since the series’ stupefying success, but I’ve the tape of an interview he gave on the eve of the first film’s opening on Memorial Day, 1977.

“Star Wars” had no real story, he said then, but was a mere “composite” of all the action comic-books he’d read as a child. It was a brainless “kid” movie, he confessed modestly. He just hoped it would be successful enough so he could live off the proceeds of a “Star Wars” series made specifically for children while he made small-audience art movies, which were more to his taste. He confessed shyly that he felt he had no gift for mass entertainment—which is an interesting attitude coming from a man whose “Star Wars” trilogy has by now taken in worldwide no less than $1.3 billion. “Star Wars” is the most lucrative Hollywood franchise since Snow White moved in with the Seven Dwarfs, and beginning on January 31 vast mobs of youngsters are expected to line up at movie houses across the country—youngsters some of whom weren’t even born at the time of the picture’s initial release.

The deep thinkers of Hollywood don’t all agree as to the meaning of the phenomenal success of “Star Wars,” by the way. Steven Spielberg (”Indiana Jones,“ ”Schindler’s List”), quite a successful mass movie director in his own right, feels that the appearance of “Star Wars” was “a seminal moment when the entire film industry instantly changed,” recognizing “the value of childhood.” But George Lucas, rising above his comic book beginnings, now says he’s “spent a great deal of time looking at history, philosophy, and mythology, and about how those relate to the breakdown of a democracy and the rise of a dictator.”

So you see how it is in America? You start making movies for kids and the next thing you know you’re a major political thinker.

Published January 17 - 19, 1997, in The Washington Times
Copyright ©1997 News World Communications, Inc.

Posted in George Lucas, Star Wars

“I’ve Got a Really Bad Feeling About This”

The Gormogons Posted on August 24, 2008 by GorTAugust 24, 2008


As mentioned earlier, GorT and family went to the see Star Wars: The Clone Wars in the theater. My seven-year old son is fixated on Star Wars. As readers will probably learn over time here, I’m rather easy on most movies. I’m all for a little escapism. I tend to enjoy (at least to some degree) about any movie for which I’m willing to plunk down money.

The best description that I was able to come up with is that it’s animated bad acting. Seriously. My wife and I checked our watches several times. There isn’t much of a story and most of it is an extended battle scene. Not necessarily a bad thing, but here, yes. Maybe as short, Saturday morning cartoons, the Clone Wars would be good. As a almost-two-hour feature film – not so much.

I won’t spoil the movie plot (if you want to call it that) here, but Ziro “Truman Capote” Hutt, Jabba the Hutt’s “Hutt-let”, and the repeated Obi-Wan being one-step behind Skywalker got really old, really fast. To use a Gormogon inside joke: “This movie really sucked”. It’s got an 18% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Wow, I’m almost thinking I should have thrown a bone to my daughters and picked “Kit Kittredge: An American Girl” over this movie. And I’m a big animation fan.

Finally, when will Lucas come out and admit (at least publicly on record) that the original Star Wars (don’t give me that “New Hope” crap) was the only one that he had planned originally and the rest he scraped together….and scraped pretty low as the series went on (in release order). Let me hit the high points (or low points) that truly crapped all over the series: “Luke, I’m your father”, Ewoks, Midichlorians, Hayden, Portman, Jar Jar Binks, Ziro the Hutt, etc. etc.

He should have ended at the first one before the Joseph Campbell crap went to his head. This is a great article on it especially when you read through the comments as well. And yes, the commenter is correct that if you want to see a good SciFi series that stuck to good stories, decent dialog and interesting character, take a look at Whedon’s Serenity/Firefly.

Posted in Firefly, George Lucas, Science Fiction, Serenity, Star Wars, This movie really sucks

We were young too early, boys.

The Gormogons Posted on August 23, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 23, 2008


Because we didn’t have belt-fed machine guns.

Via Toys Я Us.

Posted in Guns, Toys

Todeskultur…

The Gormogons Posted on August 23, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 23, 2008

…as B16 might say. The culture of death advances. “Wouldn’t be more convenient if I were dead, son?” “Yes, mom, if you really want to be.”

Posted in Culture of Death, Decline of the West, Euthanasia

Poti, the New Sebastopol?

The Gormogons Posted on August 23, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 23, 2008

‘Puter thinks so. Russia’s lease on the Ukrainian port of Sebastopol on the Black Sea is up in 2017. Ukraine and Russia are about as friendly as fire and gasoline. ‘Puter’s betting Ukraine finds a way to not renew the lease for Sebastopol without ending up occupied by Russia. Ukraine’s got nine years to figure out a way, and Washinton’s probably going to help them. Given that, the following seems of interest.

Now we see that Russia has hunkered down in Poti, Georgia’s port on the Black Sea. ‘Puter’s betting that Russia’s hedging its bets by finding itself another Black Sea port. Russia’s going to claim that it needs to occupy the port as part of its self-declared peacekeeping role in South Ossetia. Keeping supply routes open, preventing the Georgian Navy from launching a pre-emptive strike on Russia’s peacekeepers, the excuse doesn’t matter. Of course, Russia will assure the West, it will respect Georgian autonomy. Just right up until the point Russia won’t.

‘Puter’s usually wrong about this stuff. This time ‘Puter really hopes he’s wrong.

Posted in Georgia (Sakartvelo), Poti, Russia, Sebastopol

Quoth Time: Not. A. Sport.

The Gormogons Posted on August 23, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 23, 2008

GorT, call your office.

An article in Time (dateline — Beijing (Peking, for you old timers)) is calling for the Olympics to dump two women-only sports: rhythmic gymnastics and synchronized swimming. Ms. Beech aptly states in reference to synchronized swimming that “effort — and a discreet set of nose-clips — doesn’t make it worthy of being an Olympic sport.” ‘Puter couldn’t agree more.

In fact ‘Puter has said so. Could it be that Ms. Beech has been secretly reading The Gormogons’ takes on Sport v. Desperate Cry For Help? It would seem so.

Regardless of whether Ms. Beech came by her conclusion honestly, or totally Bidened The Gormogons (if you link to us, Ms. Hannah Beech of Time, all is forgiven), we extend a hearty “welcome to the party” to her. Anything that contributes to the removal of judged “sports” from the Olympics is good by us.

Posted in Hannah Beech, Olympics, Rhythmic Gymnastics, Synchronized Swimming, Time

Say It Ain’t So, Joe

The Gormogons Posted on August 23, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 23, 2008

‘Puter was a little surprised that the The Good Junior Senator from Illinois (D-IL) chose The Good Senior Senator From Delaware (D-DE) as his running mate.

After all, Sen. Biden once referred to Sen. Obama as “the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy.” Not exactly post racial rhetoric. Sen. Biden also said that Sen. Obama is “not yet ready for the presidency.” Could this be any easier for the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy Attack Machine?

Remember the Super Bass-O-Matic ’76 from the old SNL skit? Well, Sen. Biden’s the real deal: a Super Gaffe-O-Matic ’08. Maybe Sen. McCain (R-AZ) can roll out Gov. Jindal (R-LA) to answer Sen. Biden’s observation that “you cannot go to a 7-Eleven or a Dunkin’ Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent.“

Additionally, and not a small thing, Sen. Biden is a serial plagiarist. Sen. Biden admitted to plagiarism while in law school at Syracuse. Also, in 1987 while running for the Democratic presidential nomination, Sen. Biden lifted wholesale portions of British politician Neil Kinnock’s writing.

Biden’s from Delaware, too. Not exactly a swing state these days, nor an electoral vote powerhouse.

On the upside for Sen. Obama, Sen. Biden is experienced in foreign affairs and has been on the national stage for many years. This may help plug the perceived experience gap in Sen. Obama’s resume.

Lord knows Sen. Obama needed a veep pick who had ANY sort of experience whatsoever, particularly in foreign policy. In theory Sen. Biden doesn’t seem to be the best veep pick Sen. Obama could have made, but in reality Sen. Biden may have been Sen. Obama’s only pick. The Democrat selection pool was a mile wide and an inch deep, full of unserious people with dangerous “solutions” to America’s current difficulties.

Posted in Barack Obama, Election, Joe Biden, Old Johnny Mac, Veepstakes

Come on, South Dakota!

The Gormogons Posted on August 23, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 23, 2008


The Mount Rushmore State is the sole U.S. state not to have visited the Gormogons. Get with it, people. We promise we’ll pronounce Pierre “peer” and not “pee-air.”

Posted in Gormogonica, South Dakota

The “N” On The Helmet

The Gormogons Posted on August 23, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 23, 2008


Is for “nollij.”*

‘Puter has four simple choices for his boys when they reach 18: (1) state school; (2) scholarship; (3) Marine Corps; (4) priesthood. And not necessarily in that order.

Now, thank goodness, the fine Cornhusker State has given me a fifth option.

*A Nebraska joke the fine Missourians used to tell.

Posted in Child Abandonment, Nebraska

This would be bad, bad, bad…

The Gormogons Posted on August 22, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 22, 2008

…bad, bad, bad.

Posted in Economic policy, The Fed

Remind Me Again

The Gormogons Posted on August 22, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 22, 2008

Why we want to transfer health care to the government?

John Steele Gordon, blogging on Commentary online, noting this editorial from the New York Times, has this to say about Medicare. They’re both correct.

The NYT is correct that Medicare is a horrible bureaucracy that wastes money because they have zero incentive to do otherwise, and then covers up its malfeasance/nonfeasance when called to account.

Mr. Gordon is even correct-er when he follows the NYT‘s position to its logical conclusion. Namely, given that the government has shown itself incapable of running an efficient health care program for those over 65, why should we expect that the government is capable of running health care for everyone? Take that, Democrats!

Next time a scrungy Obamanik tries to convince you that government run healthcare is good for what ails you, ask him this question. Name one thing the government can do better than private industry. Be prepared for a deafening silence.

Posted in Barack Obama, Medicare, New York Times - NYT

What was that I was saying…

The Gormogons Posted on August 22, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 22, 2008

…about inter-group reconciliation? Well, one step forward, one step back. On the other hand, as long as these things are fought out politically, rather than in the streets, that’s progress of a huge order. But, of course, one never knows…

Posted in Iraq

Secret Obama Strategy Revealed!

The Gormogons Posted on August 22, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 22, 2008


This is the funniest piece of satire I’ve read in a while. Why? Because the Notorious ŒV has met a whole bunch of these guys—with Obama signs—on State Street in Madison, Wisconsin.

“I couldn’t be prouder of all of you wonderful young indy rock assholes,” said Axlerod [sic] at a swearing-in ceremony at the campaign’s official training center in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. “You represent our party’s finest, the best of best — you are our Douchebag Delta Force.”

Illustration from Justin’s Blog

Posted in Barack Obama

“The Death of Protestant America”

The Gormogons Posted on August 22, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 22, 2008

Jody Bottom has written a brilliant piece on the decline unto insignificance of the once brilliant, sustaining, American Mainline churches. While welcoming the effective end of non-left-wing anti-Catholicism, no Catholics—not even Gormogons doing dances on the graves of our traditional Masonic enemies—can consider this a positive development. Mainline Protestantism, in its several varieties, was among the core elements that produced America—as Bottom says, “a religious nation,” read: “Christian nation,” read: “Protestant nation.”

Mandatory reading. More important for Americans in the long run than Georgia, Russia, or Pakistan.

(I’ll leave Ghetto P to draw its connections to the plague of stripper/hooker-teachers of which he’s today’s Jacob Riisian scourge.)

UPDATE: Fr. Neuhaus’s observations here are not unrelated to the history Bottom documents.

Posted in Protestantism, Unam sanctam catholicam apostolicam ecclesiam

Since we’re talking about Pakistan…

The Gormogons Posted on August 22, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 22, 2008

…here, here, and here, Peter Pham has a very good piece in the National Interest on what the U.S. should do in the post-Musharraf era.* Anyway, here’s the kernel for those of you too tired to click.

First, America must avoid the temptation to personalize foreign policy. […]

Second, Washington needs to realistically temper its expectations of what any Pakistani government, at least in the short to intermediate term, can be expected to deliver. […]

Third, if American interests in South Asia cannot be dependent on the vicissitudes of domestic Pakistani politics, then… [India,] Pakistan’s larger, more stable, democratic neighbor might be “an answer to some of our major geopolitical problems.” […]

Fourth, the United States must undertake to prioritize the competing policy interests which it has, somewhat counterproductively, tried to pursue simultaneously up to now. […]

He concludes, wisely:

Hence the most important objective to be pursued by the United States and its allies in their dealings with Islamabad in the coming months will be containing the effects of the centrifugal momentum currently ripping Pakistan apart as a nation-state while waiting for the deluge in Musharraf’s wake to recede.

*I’d make a “what is to be done” joke, but I don’t know how to say что делать? in Urdu—oh, wait…sweet, sweet Wikipedia says Kiâ karnâ châhiay: کیا کرنا چاہئے). Consider that your free fact of the day.

Posted in Pakistan, What is to be done?

Another small sign…

The Gormogons Posted on August 22, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 22, 2008

…that, amazingly, Iraq could end up with a decent government. Inter-group reconciliation is a heck of a good sign for a society that was for decades a tyranny of a single clan (the al-Tikrîtiyya) and then, not a couple years ago, was disintegrating along religious and ethnic fault lines. I’ll bet you wouldn’t get these kind of numbers in what was Yugoslavia.

Conclusive? Hardly. Possibly chimerical? Sure. But… maybe…

And remember, for all our pusillanimity relative to Sa‘ad ed-Din Ibrahim, etc., the erection of a decent, popularly sovereign Arab state with some stability would be the most important act in the Middle East since the collapse of the Ottoman Empire—and an unambiguously positive one.

Posted in Egypt, Iraq, Sa‘ad ed-Din Ibrahim

Great Moments In Teaching, Episode #42,718

The Gormogons Posted on August 22, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 22, 2008

‘Puter’s typing hand is getting tired.

Our latest entrant? Meet Ms. Autumn Leathers. Seriously. That’s not even her stage name down at the Klassy Kat, where she dances for the Canadian Ballet.

And, as an added bonus, Ms. Leathers is from Frostburg, Maryland, home of Frostburg State University, and just within chaw-spittin’ range of Pennsyltucky in the scenic Maryland panhandle!

Reg Weaver, call your office.

Posted in Bad Bad Teacher, Frostburg, Pennsyltucky, Teachers, Unions

Abortions, Right?

The Gormogons Posted on August 22, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 22, 2008

Today’s WaPo online has an article concerning the Bush Administration’s new regulations regarding federally funded health care providers. The regulations require that recipients of federal funds allow employees who are opposed to abortion to opt out of providing such services. Predictably, Planned Parenthood predicts that women will be left in the street to die once the regulations are in place.

This entire episode seems to be a tempest in a teapot. The feddle gubbamint is not required to affirmatively enable you to exercise your Constitutional rights, it simply can’t prevent you from doing so. If the gubbamint were so required, ‘Puter would be screaming that Congress did not appropriate sufficient funds to provide each American a firearm of his own. To defend the First Amendment, does Congress have to fund radio programs so extreme viewpoints can reach a listening audience, despite the fact that the programs would not otherwise be commercially viable? Oh, wait, nevermind.

Planned Parenthood’s argument seems to be that because there is a Constitutional right to have an abortion, the federal government must provide you with the means to exercise this right, even to the extent of requiring other people to assist you in getting an abortion, against their will. ‘Puter’s fairly certain that there’s an Amendment to the United States Constitution that prevents this, but that’s for another discussion.

‘Puter recalls back in the days just before he turned 18, then the legal drinking age in many states, the feddle gubbamint decided to tie federal highway funding to states’ adoption of a 21 year old drinking age. States howled, but the feds replied that the states could keep their drinking age, but they just wouldn’t get any highway funding. A relatively uncontroversial proposition.

These regulations are the same. Health care providers are free to continue to require all employees to participate in abortions, they just won’t get any federal money. A pro-abortion employer can simply refuse the federal money, and continue on its merry way, just as the states could have forgone the federal highway funds. The fact that most if not all will not forgo the federal funds does not change the Constitutionality of the government’s act.

If these regulations had involved anything other than the hot-button issue of abortion, they’d have been uncontroversial. And shame on the press for not pointing that out.

Posted in Abortion, Constitutional Law, Planned Parenthood, Rights

Spetsnaz in Georgia

The Gormogons Posted on August 22, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.February 17, 2015

Russian soldier with AS VALNot to obsess on the trumped-up nature of Russia’s invasion of Georgia, but this picture on Drudge caught my eye (I can’t figure out whom to credit—it’s hosted on Yahoo’s news servers, but I can’t find it in their index). So, you see the Russian kid on the left guarding the blindfolded Georgians? Look closely at his rifle. That’s not a Kalashnikov. It’s not even a Nikonov, the latest-greatest rifle that some elite troops carry. What is it? It’s an AS Val—Avtomat Spetsial’nyy “Val” (“Special assault rifle, code name ‘Shaft.'”). Note the long tubular barrel. Why is that funny-looking? Because it’s a silencer. The “Shaft” is a silenced assault rifle that fires a special subsonic 9x39mm armor-piercing round. Which is to say, it’s for killing people unobtrusively.

The only units deployed abroad who carry this weapon (that I know of—my reading may be out of date) are the Spetsnaz GRU, military intelligence’s elite, scary units. (The KGB [d.b.a. SVR] may have their own Spetsnaz, though there’s no hard public knowledge of that fact.) It strikes me as highly improbable that these guys would be first into South Ossetia or Georgia if the Russian operation was what it claimed to be—a hastily organized intervention for peacekeeping in South Ossetia. If the U.S. had to move troops into Tijuana to protect donkey-show-patronizing frat boys from murderous Mexican mobs, I really don’t think our order of battle would include Delta Force or Special Forces. I could be wrong. Maybe he’s just an MVD goon. And maybe this is all just an excuse to post the GRU’s fantastic, awesomely evil Batman emblem. You make the call.

Because I’m just talkin’ ’bout Shaft.

Posted in AS Val, Georgia (Sakartvelo), GRU, Guns, Russia, Spetsnaz, SVR (KGB)

Great and informative review…

The Gormogons Posted on August 22, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 22, 2008

…by a professor of Russian and Georgian of a new history of the Caucasus. Via aldaily.com.

Posted in Georgia (Sakartvelo), Russia, The Caucasus

Great Olympians

The Gormogons Posted on August 22, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 22, 2008

So, while Usain Bolt and Michael Phelps are clearly the top stories of these Olympics, attention should be paid to the photogenic and charismatic Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh (pictured). Now, as little regard as the Notorious ŒV had for beach volleyball when it was introduced as an Olympic sport (just above snowboarding as a publicity stunt), it is, in the end, a sport by Ghettoputer’s definition, and it’s taken seriously enough to have a pro tour and an Olympic berth.

So, as dominating and incredible as Bolt & Phelps have been, May-Treanor & Walsh’s domination of a much less hallowed stage should be noted. While the NBC coverage has repeatedly mentioned their unbeaten streak of 108 matches, equally notable is the fact that in these Olympics, they didn’t drop a set. Even the Chinese team of Wang Chieh and T’ien Chia who gave them a very hard-fought medal match was unable to take a set off them. That’s some Jordan-level execution and intensity.* So, nice job, ladies.

Oh, and for those hip cynics who mocked Walsh’s thanking President Bush for his support, can you back off the ‘tude just a bit? Why wouldn’t an American in her situation—of any or no party—thank her President—of any party—who’d offered her encouragement? Have we so lost track of manners and basic patriotism that thanking one’s President for saying, “Go team,” is somehow worthy of snide derision? For shame. If anyone even knows what shame is any more.

*Or to pick an athlete from the past: Johnny Weissmuller, the athlete whom Phelps should actually be compared to (perhaps unfavorably) as greatest swimmer ever, not Spitz—great though he was. Weissmuller won five golds at two Olympics, picked up a bronze in water polo, and retired without ever having lost a race. Plus, dude, Tarzan.

Posted in Beach volleyball (God help us), May-Treanor and Walsh, Olympics

Among all the misbegotten states…

The Gormogons Posted on August 22, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 22, 2008


…cobbled together by European powers in the twentieth century, Pakistan is a front-runner for the most inherently unstable and, if you’ll pardon a soupçon of hyperbole, flat-out craziest. Given that it was stitched together from four major provinces with little commonalities save Islam, its populace is fractious at best and tends to rally around anything presented as a Muslim cause—e.g., rioting in the streets about against The Satanic Verses (killing six in an attack on the American Cultural Center, despite the fact Rushdie was a Briton published by a British house—and which riots allegedly inspired Khomeini’s fatwa), celebrating the murder of the novel’s Japanese translator, assassinating a high court judge who acquitted two Christians of blasphemy charges, backing the Taliban and Islamist terrorist groups in India and so forth. This radicalization, already well advanced by the time V.S. Naipaul wrote his devastating Among the Believers in 1981, was only compounded by the continuing influence of the regional Deobandi school of Islam and the massive influx of Saudi money setting up free madrasa schools.

(N.B. This is not intended as indictment or caricature of all Pakistanis or any particular Pakistani, but an indication of some powerful and violent fault lines in Pakistani political and social life.)

As Ghettoputer pointed out, as theoretically welcome as the restoration of democracy in Pakistan is, in practice Musharraf’s resignation likely means trouble ahead for the United States. Not only will Pakistan destabilize as traditional ethnic rivalries slug it out inconclusively in the political area leaving all parties weakened, but the anti-American*, pro-Islamist sector of the public—the majority—will once again come to the fore.

This is a long way of introducing this excellent article limning some of the problems that the new Pakistan will pose by the Iranian exile journalist Amir Taheri. A couple excellent points:

“Now they may seek other diversions – demagogic tricks such as rehabilitating A.Q. Khan, the so-called Father of the Pakistani Nuclear Bomb, and the man who sold atomic technology and equipment to Iran, Libya and North Korea.
Worse, they might release thousands of Pakistani Taliban terrorists on the pretext that they were “victims of Musharraf’s dictatorship.”

…

The PPP and MLN have also made it clear they wish to cool down relations with America, which they see as an unreliable ally whose policies could radically change depending on who wins the White House.

In this they’re not wrong, I fear. (Cf. last ¶.)

The Bush administration’s decision not to utter a word in support of Musharraf (the man who took the strategic decision to turn Pakistan into a US ally in 2001), plus the chorus of attacks on him in the US media, confirmed that impression.

Hooray, Bush Administration public diplomacy! (To the ŒV’s mind easily the most consitently and dramatically dreadful portion of Dubya’s foreign policy.) And in conclusion:

The Bush administration played a crucial role in helping to restore democracy to Pakistan. But it hasn’t devised a policy to deal with the more complex situation that the return to democracy has created.

Let’s hope the abundantly gifted, terribly charismatic, and incredibly dynamic (for good and ill) Pakistanis and we can come up with a mutually satisfactory modus vivendi (which ultimately includes clearing al-Qâ’ida out of Waziristan). If not, that green and white flag up there may betoken a bad moon rising.

St. Thomas the Apostle, patron of Pakistan, ora pro nobis.

* Negative:Positive view of the U.S.: 68%:15%.
Dislike American ideas of democracy: 72%.
Positive view of American movies, music, and tv: 4%; American science and technology, 36%; spread of American ideas: 4%.
Favorable opinion of Iran: 68%.
Favorable opinion of China: 79%.
—Pew Global Research, 27 June 2007.
These attitudes may be superficial or passing, but they’re not ambiguous.

Posted in Pakistan

Merci, Mme Moïsi

The Gormogons Posted on August 22, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 22, 2008

What has the Volgi been telling you? Does it sound better à la française?

The current crisis in the Caucasus does not mark the return of the Cold War, nor is it likely to mark the start of open warfare between Russia and the West; it is, more simply, the return of the traditional imperialism practiced by the Russian Empire more than a century ago.

China is, with the exception of Tibet, a satisfied and confident status-quo empire. Russia by contrast is a revisionist imperialist power, whose lack of self-confidence is returning to haunt the world.

The Volgi would note, however, that China’s claims on Taiwan are at least as destabilizing in Asia as Russia’s on the Baltic States are in Europe (not quite as big as Ukraine—as that’d move the Russian border up against Poland, Hungary, Slovakia, and Romania, states with recent and unpleasant experience of Russian rule)—and of far greater import to the global economy.

Posted in China, Georgia (Sakartvelo), Russia, Self-Determination for Tibet Turkestan and Inner Mongolia

Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do?

The Gormogons Posted on August 22, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 22, 2008


COPS…in Wisconsin!

Posted in Gubbamint, Idiot criminals, The Po-lees, Wisconsin

As long as they don’t go…

The Gormogons Posted on August 22, 2008 by GorTAugust 22, 2008


…with Popobawa, then maybe I’ll let me kids watch The Secret Saturdays. GorT and family went to see The Clone Wars (stay tuned for my review of that movie) last night. One of the pre-previews (you know what I’m talking about, imbedded between the ads for Coke and Lets Go Out to the Lobby) was for the The Secret Saturdays. Basic premise: family who investigates and befriends some of the Cryptids. Of course, I’d let them watch this (maybe with some censoring) over the Holly-Hobby crap that was the following pre-preview.

Posted in Cartoons, Cryptids, Freaky

Exhibitionist?

The Gormogons Posted on August 21, 2008 by GorTAugust 21, 2008

Check out this statement. Nice.

Posted in Uncategorized

How do you say “enemy of the people” in Chinese?

The Gormogons Posted on August 21, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 21, 2008

Confucius (that’s what 孔夫子 means) the Œcumenical Volgi assumes you’ve heard about Wu Tien-yüan and Wang Hsiu-ying, the two elderly women (79 & 77) from who were sentenced to a year of “reeducation through labor” because they asked for permission to protest the destruction of their homes. Well, just to make sure you know what kind of dangerous running-dog capitalist-roader rightist opportunists these women are, I think you need to see their picture (credit: AP).

Yep. Look at them, those five-kinds-of-black elements. Seething with hatred, bursting with energy to destroy the gorgeous edifice of Mao Tse-Tung Thought, greasy with the oleagineous lucre of international finance capital! Yes! One year is not hard enough! Bring back the Red Guards! They’ll teach those rotten dog’s heads to apply for permission to protest! Cow devils and snake spirits inflaming and agitating! White Bone Demons launching unbridled attacks! EVERYBODY SING!

Bourgeois royalists
You sabotage the revolution, bad, bad, bad!
Dead-set royalist
Willing dogs and slaves of the capitalist-roaders
Strike, strike, strike
Strike down the capitalist-roaders!
Strike, strike, strike
Strike down the capitalist-roaders!

Wade-Giles is the official romanization of the Gormogons. Though we’re open to bribes to convert to Yale.

Posted in China

More Olymp-i-mock-i-tude

The Gormogons Posted on August 21, 2008 by GorTAugust 21, 2008


Well, a few more days have passed since GorT’s last Olympic update and it’s time for some more mocking. First, kudos to the folks over at Stryde Hax hacking around the ‘net to find out the truth at the bottom of He Kexin’s (the Chinese gymnast) real age. As stated before, just look at her – there is no way this girl turned 16 in January. Then people uncover records like this:

10 何可欣 He Kexin 女 F 1994
11 1994  1  1 北京体育局
Beijing Sports Bureau 武汉体育局
Wuhan Sports Bureau 2年 2 years

See this part: “11 1994” – January 1st, 1994. That makes her 14 years and 200-some-odd days old. “Damn that internet caching!”

Second, (hat tip to the Volgi) there’s this excellent piece by Rick Reilly over at ESPN. Couldn’t have done a better job myself.

Third, I logged some time watching the flames shoot out the back of Bolt as he dominated the 200m race. This is the same race where the top US finisher was DQed right afterwards. The commentators (after a stupid interview) did a great job pointing out the “new” 2nd place runner should be DQed as well (which he eventually was after a protest by the US Track Team). While I’m not a big fan of DQing someone who runs that blazing fast, but rules are rules and should be consistently enforced lest we drift towards the “non-sports” events.

EDIT: First, I tried to fix the formatting of the Chinese records found and two, it appears that the IOC is going to take action: “An IOC official told The Times that “discrepancies” that have come to light about the age of He Kexin — the host nation’s darling, who won gold in both team and individual events — have prompted an inquiry that could result in the gymnast being stripped of her medals.”

Posted in China, Chinese Olympics, Hacking, Sports

But we no longer need a substantial surface fleet, right?

The Gormogons Posted on August 21, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 21, 2008

Right?

Posted in Georgia (Sakartvelo), Israel, Russia, Syria, U.S. Navy

Great Moments In Teaching, Episode #42,717

The Gormogons Posted on August 21, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 21, 2008

Part of a continuing series. See the disclaimer.

Teachers are at it again. Let’s just hope the union representatives will get this fine lady her job back after she finishes her jail time.

Posted in Bad Bad Teacher, Teachers, Unions

My Brain Hurts

The Gormogons Posted on August 21, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 21, 2008

From reading Harold Meyerson in today’s WaPo. ‘Puter should know better than to read the musings of a proud bi-coastal progressive, but ‘Puter is weak.

Meyerson puts forth a shocking, new Progressive theory: manufacturing losses hurt working class voters, working class voters are important, and Democrats should try to get their votes.

Obama needs to extend the Democrats’ historic concern for fairness beyond racial minorities, women and gays to an abandoned working class.

Oh. I guess Mr. Meyerson must’ve missed Sen. Obama’s promise to unilaterally renegotiate NAFTA. And Sen. Obama’s promise to remove the secret ballot from workers in order to make unionization of workplaces easier. Maybe Mr. Meyerson’s on to something here. Maybe Obama could take a bunch of ideas focused on helping the working man, and put it into a plan. ‘Puter knows! Obama could call it Obama’s Plan for America and put it on his web-thingy on the interwebs!

Next, Mr. Meyerson urges a move to China-style government control of the economy. At least ‘Puter think Mr. Meyerson does. It’s difficult to tell from this convoluted passage.

Will America ever get its manufacturing back? Not unless we move to level a steeply tilted playing field: China and a host of other nations offer generous subsidies to companies locating their plants there, while the United States shuns such mercantilist strategies. But even if we moved toward mercantilism, we’d still have to confront the global economic order of the past quarter-century.

‘Puter thought he knew what mercantilism was, but just to be certain, he looked it up. Sure enough, mercantilism involves “strict governmental regulation of the entire national economy.” To be fair, ‘Puter used the second definition, but the first definition seemed inapplicable because ‘Puter’s fairly certain the United States is already aggressively pursuing commercialism.

Last, Mr. Meyerson lets the Progressive fixation with race show through in a stunning admission.

As it happens, the Americans most affected by these changes are the Americans most able to sway the outcome of the presidential election: the beleaguered workers of our onetime industrial heartland. Barack Obama can claim the allegiance of the black workers so affected, but it’s the white workers clustered in these swing states who will determine our next president.

Wow. Nice to see Progressives admit that they think Black Americans will vote for Sen. Obama based solely on the color of his skin, not the content of his character. Dr. King would be so proud of today’s Progressive movement.

Great to see such trenchant commentary getting play in the Nation’s Capital’s major daily newspaper. They have these things now called “editors.” Perhaps the WaPo would like to contact ‘Puter and request his services?

Posted in Barack Obama, Democrats, Dr. King, Meyerson, Progressives

That There’s Good Eatin’

The Gormogons Posted on August 21, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 21, 2008

‘Puter likes to hunt and fish. Occasionally, we’ll have hunting and fishing stories of interest to ‘Puter. Here comes one now.

Not for nothing, but ‘Puter’s willing to bet that Mr. Hayes has a good, long internal discussion with himself while fighting this fish. (picture not of Hayes’ fish). It probably went something like this.

“Gosh Dave, you really hooked into something big. Maybe even a state record! But Dave, we’re going to catch it on a pink toy Barbie fishing rod. Do we land the fish and take the grief we’re sure to get from our buddies, or do we cut our losses now?”

‘Puter thinks David Hayes made the right decision. And double good on him for taking his granddaughter fishing, Barbie pole and all.

Posted in Barbie, Catfish, David Hayes, Fishing, Manhood

Ha.

The Gormogons Posted on August 21, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 21, 2008

Putin: “Beginning immediately, my attorney will be explaining my Georgia policy, Frau Merkel.”

(Title: Flawless Friendship—literally “friendship as clear as a loupe”)

(That’s Gerhard Schröder, Putin’s Gazprom catamite, holding the phone.)

Posted in Georgia (Sakartvelo), Gerhard Schröder, Germany, Putin that Chekist хуй, Russia

Ahmadinejad and the Mahdi

The Gormogons Posted on August 21, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 21, 2008

Interesting piece here. However, as always, remember that Ahmadinejad is generally a sideshow, if a consequential one. All real power is concentrated in the hands of Khamene’i, the Rahbar (that’s Persian for Duce or Führer [or Vozhd], seriously.), whose very attractive website I forgot to mention in my dictators’ blogs post.

Posted in Iran, Khamene'i, Mahmūd Ahmadî-Nezhâd

Russia and Poland

The Gormogons Posted on August 21, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 21, 2008

While I admire the Poles’ realism and bravery, I doubt our resolve. Any bets on who’ll be the first to unironically revive “to die for Danzig?” Pat Buchanan? MoveOn?

Also, what the hell is the supposed problem with missile defense at this point? Or are we just stuck in 1983, with Democrats’ opposing crazy Ronnie Raygun on principle 25 years later?

Posted in Isolationism, Missile defense, Patty-Patty Buke-Buke, Poland, Russia

Ossetian War commentary — 21 August

The Gormogons Posted on August 21, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 21, 2008

Interesting points from Fred Kagan via John McCormack at the Weekly Standard. Sounds like a fairly clear victory for Russia at this point.

Victor Davis Hanson on the West’s instinct to turn on itself first.

A Cato Institute writer blaming NATO expansion. There may be a kernel of truth to his analysis, but Kennan had long since removed himself from the mainstream of foreign-policy thought relative to the USSR and Russia, arguing a hands-off approach virtually all the time. So even if he were right on the NATO issue, he’d been wrong enough about, say, Reagan’s policy of challenging the USSR, that it was likely seen as more of the same rather than an on-point analysis. Also, blaming NATO is conveniently liberatarian-isolationist for Cato. Again, doesn’t mean it’s wrong in this instance, but the fact that facts opposing the theory like why Russia went after Georgia—outside NATO’s auspices—rather than the Baltics or its ultimate prize, Ukraine, are left unmentioned.

A nice что делать? article from a former Defense Department official.

The Volgi’s Fallacy of Foreign-Political Egocentrism: that it’s our “declaring” a country “our enemy” that makes them into an enemy. Countries—especially centralized, authoritarian regimes—pick their enemies for a variety of reasons: calculations of national interest, ideology, prejudice, etc. Our actions play a role, but it’s rarely the central one. The Putinshchina is dominated by a revanchist nostalgia for Soviet-era “greatness,” defined as Great Russian imperialism, domination of its neighbors, and a leading role on the world stage based on military power. It’s also based on some Soviet-era (and traditional Russian) xenophobia and fear of encirclement. None of these are easily allayed by Western actions or inaction. If NATO doesn’t expand to Russia’s borders, to pick one example, it’s read as our giving them the green light to reoccupy their former possessions because either (a) we’re happy to see “stability” or (b) we’re worthless and weak, the pusillanimous, treacherous heirs of evil Latin Christendom, enemies of the Third Rome. If we do expand to their borders, it’s a “provocation,” not because we care for a stable, free international order, but because as the worthless, weak, pusillanimous treacherous heirs of evil Latin Christendom, we’re always bent on dismembering Mother Russia.

The FFPE deserves a full post, I suppose, but let me just mention here that Iran, China, and Russia, to name a few, have plenty of reasons to consider the United States an enemy, and almost none of them are amenable to diplomacy or geostrategic concessions. Yet, because we’re Americans and want to be loved by everyone, we persist in not seeing things as they are and figuring out ways to simply check the ambitions of countries which count us as an enemy and reward those who choose to ally with us. The goal isn’t to achieve utopia in our lifetimes, but to preserve our interests (including whatever fragile liberties we’ve been able to create at home and abroad) as well as we can for as long as we can. History never ends, Messrs. Hegel and Fukuyama.

Posted in Fallacy of Foreign-Political Egocentrism, Georgia (Sakartvelo), Russia, What is to be done?

Bernard Henri-Lévy in Georgia

The Gormogons Posted on August 21, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 21, 2008

More good first-person reportage from le BHL.

Posted in Georgia (Sakartvelo), Russia

A Gentle Reminder

The Gormogons Posted on August 21, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 21, 2008

‘Puter stands with the Czech and Slovak peoples as they remember the fortieth anniversary of the brutal Soviet invasion of then Czechoslovakia. The Soviets believed emerging freedoms granted by First Secretary Dubček in what was called Prague Spring threatened the iron grip of Communism hegemony in Czechoslovakia. The Soviets’s fears were well placed; Prague Spring was just 21 years too early.

Meet the new Russian Bear. Same as the old Soviet Bear. Just ask Georgia.

Posted in Czech Republic, Georgia (Sakartvelo), Prague Spring, Russia, Slovakia, Soviet Union

“They are taking broken refrigerators.”

The Gormogons Posted on August 21, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 21, 2008


Great first-person reportage from Georgia by the estimable Michael Totten in City Journal.

“They are burning the houses. From most of the houses they are taking everything. They are stealing everything, even such things as toothbrushes and toilets. They are taking the toilets. Imagine. They are taking broken refrigerators.”

Sounds like the Red Army c. 1945.

“My husband said he was going to see his family,” she said. “And the Russians said again, ‘Are you going to the American side?’”

“So the Russians view you as the American side, even though there are no Americans here.”

“Yes,” she said. “Because our way is for democracy.”

And more.

“I am very thankful to the West,” Maya said as her eyes welled up with tears. “They support us so much. We thought we were alone. I am so thankful for the support we have from the United States and from the West. The support is very important for us.”

Feel guilty yet? The Volgi does. On the other hand:

“The night they came close to Tbilisi,” she said, “Bush and McCain made their strongest speeches yet. The Russians seemed to back down. Bush and McCain have been very good for us.”

So maybe something good has come of our tiny hints at maybe possibly somehow someday supporting Georgia.

Posted in Georgia (Sakartvelo), Russia

So not only is our public diplomacy a failure…

The Gormogons Posted on August 21, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 21, 2008

…our actual policy of supporting democratic activists seems be defunct as well. Dammit.

Hosni Mubarak has been pretty damn good at defanging what looked like a burgeoning pro-democracy movement in Egypt. Not only has Sa‘ad ed-Din Ibrahim been made an example of (as described above), but they’ve basically ousted the real democrats from the Kifaya (Enough!) movement and put in puppets. (Can’t find the article I read on that. Will keep looking)

Posted in Egypt, Husnī Mubārak, Kifaya, Sa‘ad ed-Din Ibrahim

Atomic Dog? What about an Atomic Bear?

The Gormogons Posted on August 21, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 21, 2008

So, Russia’s got a substantially larger inventory of tactical nukes than we, and have been increasingly cavalier about brandishing them. That can’t be good. Gabriel Schoenfeld writes fairly persuasively on the topic in today’s WSJ:

Yet matters are very different at the tactical, or short-range, level. Here, the U.S., acting unilaterally and with virtually no fanfare, sharply cut back its stockpile of nonstrategic nuclear warheads. As far back as 1991, the U.S. began to retire all of its nuclear warheads for short-range ballistic missiles, artillery and antisubmarine warfare. According to the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists, not one of these weapons exists today. The same authoritative publication estimates that the number of tactical warheads in the U.S. arsenal has dwindled from thousands to approximately 500.

Russia has also reduced the size of its tactical nuclear arsenal, but starting from much higher levels and at a slower pace, leaving it with an estimated 5,000 such devices — 10 times the number of tactical weapons held by the U.S. Such a disparity would be one thing if we were contending with a stable, postcommunist regime moving in the direction of democracy and integration with the West. That was the Russia we anticipated when we began our nuclear build-down. But it is not the Russia we are facing today.

If Russia—however fading a power in the medium-to-long term—keeps staggering around like a belligerent drunk, punching those who strike him as enemies, we may have to do a major strategic reappraisal of our military and go back to buying large-scale conventional systems, like lots more F-22s, a whole hell of a lot more surface ships, and other very expensive systems that will cause the predictable domestic political convulsions, last seen in the Reagan Administration. This go-around, maybe we’ll insist the Europeans foot their bills and get invested in their own defense.

Posted in F-22, NATO, Nukes, Ronald Reagan, Russia, U.S. Navy

Oh, and congratulations…

The Gormogons Posted on August 20, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 20, 2008

…to Mr. & Mrs. Ghettoputer on their nuptuals. Sounds like a blessèd event.

Posted in Full Retard

So, wait, Russia is telling…

The Gormogons Posted on August 20, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 20, 2008


…NATO that she’s suspending cooperation?

Posted in Georgia (Sakartvelo), NATO, Russia

Catholic diversion

The Gormogons Posted on August 20, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 20, 2008


Others can move on, but for those of the Church, I recommend Hugh Hewitt’s interview with Abp. Charles Chaput (OFM Cap) of Denver. Chaput has quietly emerged as the leading public intellectual in the American episcopate. Since, say, Fulton Sheen, that’s generally been akin to being the best rebounder on the Washington Generals, but Chaput is the real deal. Hewitt seems to omit the question of the relevance of legality and illegality to the question of immigration, and Chaput doesn’t go back to it, but other than that, it’s a good, frank interview with real answers to real questions. Very much worth reading.

Neat trivia: Abp. Chaput (pron. “sha-POO,” I believe) is half-French Canadian, half Potawatomi Indian. The Volgi lives not too far from a couple outposts of Potawatomidom, so he offers the salutation, “Bozho, Your Excellency.”

Posted in Chaput, Hugh Hewitt, Unam sanctam catholicam apostolicam ecclesiam

Slaughter of the Innocents

The Gormogons Posted on August 20, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 20, 2008

Over at NRO‘s The Corner, there’s been an ongoing discussion about The Good Junior Senator From Illinois’ (“The GJSFI”) support for infanticide and the media’s reluctance to accurately report on this pro-infanticide position. This post by Yuval Levin makes the point nicely.

‘Puter thinks the media rationalizes its downplay of theis relevant story by convincing itself that the rubes in the heartland would misinterpret The GJSFI’s delicately nuanced position on this issue. The GJSFI isn’t anti-child, he’s pro-woman, and the hicks from the sticks are too stupid to get it. This is, in the immortal words of Col. Sherman T. Potter, horse hockey.

‘Puter thinks Big Media is scared to death of this story because Big Media knows the truth. Joe and Jane Sixpack viscerally understand this issue. It’s that simple. The GJSFI voted in favor of a law that permitted doctors and hospitals to leave a born, living child to die, whether through starvation, exposure, dehydration, lack of treatment or whatever. Period. End of Story. Joe and Jane Sixpack, regardless of political stripe, know abandoning children to die is intrinsically evil. Joe and Jane Sixpack also understand, better than many in Big Media, that real evil exists. They are unlikely to support any politician in favor of infanticide, and no “nuance” or “big picture” argument will sway them.

So, Big Media is facilitating the spread of evil by preventing The GJSFI’s support of infanticide from becoming widely known, convincing itself that serving a false prophet pitching Hope and Change offsets its most grave sin.

*For those interested, the painting is Carl Heinrich Bloch’s Slaughter of the Innocents.

Posted in Barack Obama, Infanticide, Media, NRO, The Corner

“Miss Lambton’s advice”

The Gormogons Posted on August 20, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 20, 2008


Wonderful piece by Martin Kramer over at MESH on the late Ann K.S. Lambton, OBE FBA, whose Persian Grammar I have not five feet from my desk. Her knowledge of Iran was such that she realized that Mohammad Mosaddegh, the populist-socialist prime minister of Iran who nationalized the Anglo-Iranian Oil Company, not only could be forced out of power, but provided crucial cultural and political advice on how such a removal could be done. In the event, the CIA got Mossadegh removed (in one of its few successful operations known to the public) in 1953, after the U.S. government—initially neutral between Britain and Iran—became convinced (rightly or wrongly, historians debate) that Mosaddegh was sliding into the Soviet orbit under the influence of the Tudeh (the Iranian Communist party).

The Mosaddegh affair is retrospectively regarded as one of the keys for understanding anti-Western feeling in Iran, though to be fair, anti-Western conspiracy theories (mostly centering around the British until the ’60s or ’70s, thereafter the U.S.) had long histories in Iranian (and Arab) culture, antedating the incident, which generally served to validate the paranoid worldview. In consequence, the Islamic Revolution of 1979 is often laid at the feet of the U.S. or UK as blowback for meddling in Iranian affairs. That’s a pleasant morality play, but the history is not as simple as all that by any means. Certainly memories of Mosaddegh’s overthrow fed anti-Western opinion in the middle classes, but it likely would have remained a relatively obscure Anglo-Iranian quarrel over expropriation without compensation had Mohammad Reza Shah not proved a heavy-handed—and worse, incompetent—ruler.

I had no idea that Professor Lambton was still alive (until last month), or I’d have dropped her a note of thanks for her magisterial and pellucid grammar of Persian. And now I have to go buy some of her works on medieval Persia.

Requiescat in pace, magistra magna.

Posted in Ann K.S. Lambton, Iran, Persian, Requiescat in pace

Unfortunately, War Works

The Gormogons Posted on August 20, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 20, 2008

An excellent take down of peaceniks, isolationists and fellow travelers here at home and around the world by Ralph Peters in today’s New York Post.

Score one for the “deal with the world as it is, not as we wish it would be” approach to international relations.
Posted in Mars, NY Post, Ralph Peters, War

Great Moments In Teaching, Episode #42,716

The Gormogons Posted on August 20, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 20, 2008

In what is likely to be a recurring theme, ‘Puter’s going to take a look at wrongdoers in the world’s second oldest profession: teaching.

We all know by now that ‘Puter hates hisself the teachers’ unions because they protect incompetents and discourage innovation and improvement. To fend off the inevitable “‘Puter hates children! He’s a hater! He’s eeeevil!” barrage of e-mails from summer vacationing National Education Association and American Federation of Teachers members, I offer the following preface to this series.

‘Puter says to the teachers’ unions, don’t change the subject. Criticisms of you are not criticisms of individual teachers or thinly veiled hatred of children. Grow up. Let’s discuss the facts.

Unions exist for one purpose: to benefit their members. Children are not members of teachers’ unions. To the extent that teachers’ unions acts or omissions benefit children’s education, that is a happy coincidence, not the intended result of the unions’ activities. Teachers’ unions promote myriad agendas that have zero impact on the children’s educational environment (but increase their power and pay), such as tenure, increased health care benefits, pension increases, byzantine procedural due process requirements before termination, etc. Oh, and also those education specific issues like abortion rights, illegal alien rights and gay rights. Unions oppose voucher programs that promote educational opportunities for the poor, as well as parents freely choosing to home school their children.

For a full discussion of the non-education related issues supported with union dues (i.e., taxpayer funds), see Phyllis Schlafly here.

Teachers unions’ are fundamentally undemocratic. The NEA supports taking away workers’ rights to a secret ballot when choosing whether or not to unionize a workplace, subjecting workers to potential retaliation and intimidation by union activists. Most school districts are closed shops, meaning you can’t teach in a school district without paying union dues, regardless of whether or not you wish to be a member.

So, teachers’ unions are undemocratic, support controversial causes unrelated to education and care primarily for teachers and not students. All that said, ‘Puter loves hisself good teachers and supports paying good teachers well and protecting them from unfair interference from parents, administration and school boards. Bad teachers should burn in Hell, along with the unions that defend them.

Anyhoo, back to the main point of this post, great moments in teaching. Meet Laurie Ann Lewis, a theater teacher and student council moderator at Cleveland High School in Texas. During her summer vacation to make ends meet (no pun intended), Ms. Lewis took on a part time job. Unfortunately for her, the local police department took a dim view of her chosen summer job, prostitution. Ms. Lewis has been arrested, and thanks to the union protections, is now on paid administrative leave pending resolution of her case.

Look for the union label. Part time hookers do.

Posted in Bad Bad Teacher, Hookers, Laurie Ann Lewis, Teachers, Unions

Is that where they make the Uzi?

The Gormogons Posted on August 20, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 20, 2008


So when Anton Fokin won Uzbekistan’s first medal in gymnastics, I clicked over to NBC’s page on the country. Here’s a live link to the map graphic on the page. Notice anything? (I’ll leave the link live…if they fix it, you won’t notice anything wrong.)

Posted in Olympics, Uzbekistan

Would you like a depression to go with your fascism?

The Gormogons Posted on August 20, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 20, 2008


Let’s hope that the Thirties aren’t coming back in this respect.

Posted in Economic policy

For the record

The Gormogons Posted on August 20, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 20, 2008

The Notorious ŒV’s iPhone is a 2G phone running OS 2.0.2. And it works well. Heck, I’m posting this from it.

Posted in iPhone

Three Years in the Making

The Gormogons Posted on August 20, 2008 by GorTAugust 20, 2008


News is flying around the ‘net that Sims creator’s Will Wright and the Maxis/EA team have promoted their new game to gold (for those non-techies out there, this means that it’s close to final production where we’ll see it soon…as in September 7th). GorT has had the opportunity to preview parts of the game (after fighting my kids off of it). Take notes, place your bets, GorT is going on the record that this game will be HUGE. Of course, EA is banking on it having put a reported 92 people working on it for almost three years. There’s some broad appeal to this game….I’m looking forward to it.

Posted in Uncategorized

Maybe this will fix it…

The Gormogons Posted on August 20, 2008 by GorTAugust 20, 2008
It appears that Apple is struggling to fix the 3G issues with the iPhone. (Hat tip to engadget for the details) Version 2.0.2 of the iPhone software would help the reception, dropped calls, etc. plaguing the version 2.0 3G users. Maybe Google is onto something with Android and T-Mobile. Hopefully, The Notorious ŒV still is running the 1.x version which has been relatively stable. Although, he might need the 2.0.2 upgrade for the Hello Kitty theme for his iPhone. At least the iPhones aren’t smoking like this one:
Posted in Apple, iPhone, iPod

Hello Kitty Has No Mouth, and She Must Scream*

The Gormogons Posted on August 19, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 19, 2008

Ghetto P, I’ll see your “Hello Kitty” and raise you a “Hello Cthulhu.”

*You see this quoted around the internet a lot (mostly by people who wouldn’t know Harlan Ellison if he hit ’em in the mouth, and believe me, he would), but the Volgi has a dim memory from the early days of the Web of an actual story in a Lovecraftian vein which, he thinks, originated the Ellison pun. Anyone else? Mail thenotoriousoev {at} me {dot} com.

Posted in Hello Kitty, Iä Iä Great Cthulhu

Creepy Despots

The Gormogons Posted on August 19, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 19, 2008

Wow, is Notorious OEV on a tear this afternoon. Who can argue with his Olympic Opening Ceremony take down? ‘Puter’s only got one small addition to make to OEV’s list of fascisti mascots: Hello Kitty.

I offer the following proof in support of her inclusion: a Hello Kitty as Darth Vader tattoo. Q.E.D.

Note also that Ms. Kitty is dressed as an angel, but giving you the finger, as she towers above her subjugated minions.

Posted in China, Chinese Olympics, Darth Vader, Hello Kitty

“Only North Korea could have done it better.”

The Gormogons Posted on August 19, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 19, 2008

Abe Greenwald finds proof of the origins of China’s cool, creepy, inhuman Opening Ceremony aesthetic. So they hired Albert Speer’s son to do the architecture (just a coincidence, I’m sure), and aspired to Kim Il-Sung’s parade drill. It’s amazing their mascots weren’t Himmler, Beria, Yezhov*, Che, and Kang Kek Iew.

*He’s so small, Japanese girls would love him!

Posted in China, North Korea, Olympics

NATO to Russia: Tsk!

The Gormogons Posted on August 19, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 19, 2008

Translation of this: “we’re fucking useless”. Not that the U.S. has been better; argubly, we’ve been even worse. Chimpy McHilterburton doesn’t exactly look like a world-despoiling warmongering tyrant now, does he, kids? I mean, there’s an oil pipeline there. Aren’t Cheney and his plutocrat oil buddies just slavering to take control of the Trans-Caucasian oil and gas routes? And if not, why not? Clearly their shareholders need to pressure them to pull their puppet’s strings and get going.

Seriously, though, Europe’s delusional “soft power” thinking is going to get a lot of people killed.

Posted in Europe, Georgia (Sakartvelo), NATO, Russia

Georgian Autonomous Okrug, anyone?

The Gormogons Posted on August 19, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 19, 2008


Because with the Russians holding Gori and now taking Poti, it looks like they’re planning on staying a bit. Also, notice that they stole a bunch of American equipment, as a ёб твою мать собакым хуй.

Laugh it up, Vovochka. Like a whole row of sleazebag dictators before you, you’re going to provoke the U.S. past its ability to avert its eyes. Bad things happen to your ilk, then.

Posted in Georgia (Sakartvelo), Putin that Chekist хуй, Russia

From the Gut

The Gormogons Posted on August 19, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 19, 2008

Comes what may be the ‘Puter’s favorite story of the day.

Posted in Greg Gutfeld, Irony, Pennsyltucky, Red Eye, Walmart

But I’m Always Hungry An Hour Later

The Gormogons Posted on August 19, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 19, 2008

Behold the official Chinese restaurant of the Gormogons!

Although for some strange reason our respective spouses don’t like the place too much.

Posted in Bad Translations, Chinese Food

Clearly Obama hasn’t mastered African politics

The Gormogons Posted on August 19, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 19, 2008

Because rule number one is, when you get prominent, you owe your family, clan, etc., lots of stuff. It’s one of the reasons that African governments tend to be kleptocratic. The tribal expectation of intra-familial redistribution tends to undermine good-government ideals of neutrality and living on one’s salary. Alas.

Posted in Africa miseranda, Barack Obama

Exile in Sacramento

The Gormogons Posted on August 19, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 19, 2008

So, ‘Puter, bad as New York is*, California, as ever, is on the cutting edge of ways to keep bloated government spending alive.

*And somewhere, Arthur Laffer’s loving your lyrics.

Posted in (Goin' back to) Cali, California, N.Y. Budget Woes

Shanghai Cooperation Organization

The Gormogons Posted on August 19, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 19, 2008


Like Peter Pham at NRO’s Tank, the Œcumenical Volgi has long had an eye on the Shanghai Cooperation Organization, stemming from his long interest in Central Asian affairs (which interest led to one of the most painful incidents in his adult life, but we’ll pass over that in silence). Here, Pham discusses its potential as a rival to NATO. His discussion is worth reading, but do take his caveat very seriously that it’s a long way off from being a serious rival, and the Volgi would note that the SCO also contains within itself some contradictions.

First and most obviously, Russia and China’s interests—while coinciding powerfully in wishing to widen the scope of respectability and freedom of action for authoritarian governments within (and without) the liberal economic and political order—cannot always be expected to coincide. Particularly as Russia depopulates and China’s population burgeons (before dropping off), the wide-open spaces of Eastern Russia may look awfully appealing as Han settlements, and particularly the port of Vladivostok, founded by Manchus and Jurchen, may look increasingly like it should become the Sea-Cucumber Cliffs of Hăishēnwăi again. Now, if this happened, there’s no reason that the Russians couldn’t sell land to the Chinese à la Seward’s Folly, but in the nationalist-paranoic climate that seems to be the Putinshchina‘s characteristic Zeitgeist, Russian pride may buckle at surrendering one of her eleven timezones to what Russians still consider an inferior race.

Speaking of “inferior races,” then there’s the problem of the “black-asses,” as Russians charmingly call their ethnic minorities, particularly Turkic peoples. The “‘Stans” of Central Asia have historically been relatively enthusiastic proponents of the SCO as it serves two purposes for them: creates a forum in which their authoritarianism is relatively penny-ante (except Uzbekistan, which punches above its weight in despotism) and in which they theoretically have an equal seat at the table with the two enormous empires which have historically had designs on their territory. Russian military might and ethnic Han population pressure (in varying combinations) have historically been the biggest threats to the independence of the Turkic peoples from Mongolia to Tatarstan and Azerbaijan. The Turkic “‘Stans” (and Persian Tajikistan) generally just want to be left alone and hope to get their massive natural-resource wealth to world markets. And this requires the sufferance of the Russians and Chinese. The SCO gives them this, plus some “anti-terrorist” cooperation which helps guarantee the stability of all the regional governments from ethnic and religious terrorism. (E.g., the Uzbeks and Kazakhs won’t back the separatism of their Muslim Turkic cousins the Uyghurs in Western China, and the Russians and Chinese will help them stamp out Islamist movements at home.)

The status quo is pretty good for the ‘Stans, and the SCO boots their regional profile. If, however, Russia and China start either clashing or looking hungrily at their territory, they’ll have to weigh their options differently. Kazakhstan may always be at the mercy of Russia, with its huge, empty, undefended (and almost indefensible) common border. Chinese (or more faintly, American) patronage may make more sense to them if they feel threatened by Russia, but hinting at that before they’re in extremis could lead to a disastrous Russian overreaction à la Georgia. Uzbekistan, as usual, has the most options, as it borders neither Russia nor China, as well as has the most capable military in the region (though that’s not saying a lot). But obviously, as European history shows, small weak countries between Great Powers have to be extremely deft to keep their independence, and it’s an open question as to whether the SCO will help or hinder the Central Asians in this respect.

Last, there are the observer states of India, Pakistan, and Iran. Given that their relations between them are, to put it mildly, fractious, it’s rather hard to see what and SCO that has closer ties to them does in terms of establishing a powerful regional or global identity, other than than, perhaps, carving out freedom of action for authoritarian states like Pakistan and fascist regimes like Iran. Democratic (currently somewhat Hindu-nationalist) India has fewer obvious interests in the group, although it’s doubtless a useful forum for keeping tabs on their neighbors (particularly Pakistan and China, with whom they’ve fought wars) and Iran (with whom they have fairly close relations, surprising as that may seem).

Last, from the perspective of Americans, do note the hole in the middle of the SCO in that logo: Mongolia, perhaps the most pro-American country in Asia. And give a thought to aiding them in preserving their liberty and developing their economy. We are a terrifying enemy, but are also often a terrible ally. (As the Turks noticed after the First Gulf War, the British, Poles, etc., after the Second, etc. Not even to mention the late Republic of Vietnam.) Anyone in a position to remedy that—please fight to do so with constant vigilance. Reward our friends early and often.

Posted in China, Georgia (Sakartvelo), India, Iran, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Mongolia, Pakistan, Russia, Shanghai Cooperation Organization, Tajikistan, Turkmenistan, Uyghurs, Uzbekistan

Ancient Chinese Secret, Huh?

The Gormogons Posted on August 19, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 19, 2008

Recently, the Spanish men’s (and women’s) Olympic basketball squads paid their respects to their Chinese hosts by being photographed pulling their eyes into a slanted position so they could look more like their Chinese hosts. Not to be outdone, the Argentine women’s Olympic soccer (football, for any European readers) team also posed in a slant-eyed photo.

The Spaniards have defended the photographs, saying the pictures were intended to be “funny” and “never offensive.” As of press time, the Argentine Olympic Commission had not returned my calls. OK, ‘Puter didn’t really call the Argentines, but it sounded good.

‘Puter hates, hates, hates political correctness, as it’s too frequently used as a substitute for thoughtful consideration of the many aspects of each situation. However, in this instance, a P.C. approach and a thoughtful analysis approach come to the same conclusion: it’s not OK to make fun on immutable physical characteristics of others. Not even close to O.K.

Let’s apply the Spanish defense to some different situations, shall we?White folks performing minstrel shows in black face? Juan Carlos says A.O.K.! Making fun of wide-eyed Down Syndrome kids? Fine with Isabel.

Spain and Argentina should apologize to the Chinese. The Chinese should accept the apology. And the world should move on.

Until the next time.

Posted in Argentine Soccer, Political Correctness, Slant Eyes, Spanish Basketball

On The Town

The Gormogons Posted on August 19, 2008 by 'PuterAugust 19, 2008

With apologies to Leonard Bernstein:

New York, New York
A dysfunctional town!
Taxes are up, and the revenue’s down.
The government’s run by fools and by clowns.
New York, New York
A dysfunctional town!

‘Puter’s already commented on the sorry state of New York’s affairs here , but the crazy just keeps a-comin’.

Governor Patterson called the New York State legislature into special session to trim $600 million out of a $124 billion budget budget. Nota bene, the projected state deficit this fiscal year is over $6 billion. Our politicians can’t even agree on cutting 10% of the state’s shortfall, likely meaning taxpayers will have to come out of pocket for the remaining 90%. And the projections assume that Wall Street’s woes don’t get significantly worse.

Even better, the Assembly reportedly will not vote to approve a property tax cap supported by 70% of New York, the state Senate and the governor. Mind you, the tax cap permits schools to increase spending at 4% each year without any additional restrictions. Not exactly a draconian provision.

The Assembly proposes to raise taxes on “the rich” (hold on to your wallets, New Yorkers), and link property tax rebates to income. This means that while the funding levels will not decline, there will be fewer people paying into the pool, accelerating the number of upper income taxpayers and businesses fleeing New York.

“Why, ‘Puter? Oh, why won’t the Assembly support a property tax cap?,” come the plaintive cries.

Well, Dear Readers, it’s really quite simple. First, cynical majority leader Shelly Silver wants to give embattled Democrats political cover by passing legislation appearing to address out of control taxes, knowing his proposal has no chance of being passed by the Senate or signed by the governor. Second, Shelly Silver is kowtowing to the Assembly Democrats’ (and, to be fair, the Senate Republicans’) true constituency, the public sector unions, who dread any limit on the ability of the state to continue to pour money into union coffers.

So, welcome to my adopted state. It’s a helluva town!

Posted in Dysfunction, Leonard Bernstein, New York, On The Town, Property Taxes, Sinatra

Olympic Updates

The Gormogons Posted on August 19, 2008 by GorTAugust 19, 2008


Just a few updates on the Olympics after my travels have concluded. First, my in-laws just returned from China. They were able to attend the opening ceremonies and a number of the events. It was an amazing opportunity and the host country made things run very efficiently. Aside from the various “don’t look behind the curtain” issues, they were awed by the opening ceremonies. They also were very impressed with the “Water Cube” where they were able to see Phelps’ first gold in 2008 and Dara Torres’ medal.

The ‘Puter aptly pointed out differences between sports and, maybe I’ll call them physically difficult activities previously. NBC last night had a brief segment with Tim Daggett, Béla Károlyi and Bob Costas where they discussed the Individual Women’s Vault Final. Upon watching the clips shown, I am reinvigorated by my compatriot’s opinion that a “judged” event is not a “sport”. While there isn’t any direct accusation of homerism (here, defined as voting for the home team’s gymnast because you’ve been impressed by your host country as the gymnast’s country’s judge cannot participate in scoring their own athlete’s attempts) or other foul play, it does seem odd. At a superficial level, you see one gymnast vault (doing a move named after her) and land on her knees. Ouch. And you watch the other vaults, particularly in my case, the American gymnast, and you see a very good and difficult vault. Maybe we need some more Elean judges. Tim Daggett broke down Cheng Fei’s vault pointing out a number of errors that should have been deducted but weren’t. However you interpret the results, it’s a judged event and not a sport….of course, the next thing up on the screen was the Trampoline. Sigh. More cowbell!

Posted in Uncategorized

Что делать? — Shout out to Mark Steyn

The Gormogons Posted on August 19, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 19, 2008

Stuart Koehl takes a very Steynian look at Russia’s demographic death spiral and its consequences for its future as a power. Worth reading.

Posted in Russia, What is to be done?

There’s a way, where there’s a will.

The Gormogons Posted on August 19, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 19, 2008

The great Anne Applebaum gets it right:

The critical question now is whether the West is prepared to behave like the West, to speak with one voice and create a common transatlantic policy.

Posted in Russia

So, wait.

The Gormogons Posted on August 19, 2008 by Confucius, Œc. Vol.August 19, 2008


Baseball and softball are the first two sports dropped from the Olympics since, like, 1936, and they’re keeping trampoline?! Could it be anti-Americanism? Sí. Ja. Oui.

Speaking of anti-Americanism, the Gormogons would like to thank the iconoclastic Britons at America in the World very much from the bottom of our red, white, and blue hearts. The port and a toast to the Treaty of Ghent are on us.

No, that’s not the real London Olympic logo, which is an abomination against God, man, Jesse Owens, Johnny Weissmuller, Paavo Nurmi, and the whole freakin’ Kalenjin tribe. It’s something someone whipped up for a BBC “bet you can do better” contest. And, yep, it’s better.

Posted in Anti-American, Olympics, Softball, Talkin' Baseball, Tramofreakinline

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