‘Puter and his manservant Sleestak set off to vanquish ‘Puter’s hard Left college friends on the most dangerous battlefield of all, Facebook.

‘Puter went on Facebook yesterday. After perusing his algorithmically driven timeline for about 20 seconds, he discerned a trend among many if not all of his liberal college friends. ‘Puter learned that Trump is guilty of colluding with Russia, Brett Kavanaugh raped everyone he ever met, and anyone who disagrees with their ideas is evil and should be destroyed.

So ‘Puter, being the moron he is, thought about it, assumed his friends’ good faith, and posted the following.

I’m concerned with a trend I see lately. The trend is whenever the world doesn’t work out as Democrats wish, the Constitution is to blame.

There is no constitutional flaw in the Senate. The Senate was set up to guarantee small population states equal representation in one of the two houses of Congress. To note that “states with (let’s say) 65% of the population only have 40% of the Senators” is meaningless. It’s not a bug, it’s a feature (at least to small population states) and it’s not going to change for many reasons, not the least of which being Article V provides “no State, without its Consent, shall be deprived of its equal Suffrage in the Senate.” Even if you wanted to amend it, you couldn’t. You’d have to chuck the entire constitution.

President Trump, like it or not, is a duly elected president. He nominated a Supreme Court nominee who, like it or not, was approved by a majority of the Senate. Now, as has been noted, Democrats can try to pack the court. But FDR tried this and failed. What makes you think (1) it’d go any better today and (2) that Democrats are in a better, more popular position today to do so? And if you’re willing to try this, why not just get Congress to get rid of all lower federal courts? The only federal court required under the Constitution is the Supreme Court; every other court is a creation of statute. And some of those courts aren’t even Article III courts (e.g. administrative, bankruptcy). There is no constitutional flaw in a duly elected president nominating, and the Senate confirming, a Supreme Court justice, not even if you believe (despite the lack of any corroboration) that one sexually assaulted a woman decades ago or that one doesn’t have what you consider to be an acceptable judicial temperament.

Not everyone who disagrees with you or your favored policy outcomes is evil or bad or malicious. Many of us just disagree with you and your preferred policies, as you do with ours. The political ought not be the personal and too many of us, including me, forget this at times.

I, at times, want to yell into the Facebook void that we have already have a highly political SCOTUS justice who admits to essentially passing out at the SOTU speech one year and who attended a “Me Too” event during the most recent confirmation hearings.

I, at times, want to scream futilely into the Facebook void that The Smartest President Ever (TM) once said, “Elections have consequences.” He also said, IIRC, essentially “I have a pen and a phone, so Congress be damned.” (The last clause I might have editorialized. We each want to think our own side the virtuous side, but it’s never true. There’s precious little virtue in politics and neither side has clean hands.

The equal representation of states in the Senate is not going to change. Kavanaugh is not going to be impeached and convicted, nor is Trump regardless of how horrible he might be. I’m not saying accept that you can’t change things. You can. But you have to win elections. And if the last presidential election was any indication, a large swath of America rejects your ideas (as does a large swath reject mine).

If you sit down and think about it, do you really believe that rejecting rule of law, abandoning parts of the Constitution that you find currently inconvenient for you, and bullying your political opponents on social media (and in restaurants and other public places) does anything other than harden hearts and fix minds against you? And, based on recent experience, how do you think you’re going to like it when “the other side” turns it around on you when they take back power (and they will). I warned Democrats *at the time it happened* that they would regret going nuclear under Reid. And here we are.

Both sides would do well to take a deep breath and step back. Talk to reasonable people with whom you disagree. Try to understand where they’re coming from and why they think what they do. You want them to understand your hopes and your fears, yet you reject theirs. Remember the Golden Rule.

And let’s all try to remember each of us is a person worth of basic human dignity and respect regardless of wealth or race or creed, etc. before we open our mouths in anger over politics again.

It went about as well as you would expect. ‘Puter learned he was a dupe of Russian trolls. ‘Puter also received a brief response (three letters total) from a college friend that implied ‘Puter was doing what he accused Democrats of doing. To be fair, ‘Puter did get some supportive responses, mostly from military veterans, which one would expect.

Oh, well.

'Puter

Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.

’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.

The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.

His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.

He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.

Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.

‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.