The Gormogons assembled in the Rumpus Room last Saturday to kick off our World Cup Soccer 2018 contest – it was quite the shindig. ‘Puter and GorT had the castle staff decorate the room in World Cup flags and banners and streamers. International food from various countries playing for the Cup this year was served. It was quite the spectacle. After filling our stomachs, the six Gormos sat down around the large game table to draw names for our World Cup pool. A random order was assigned with ‘Puter winning the first choice, followed by the Czar, Mandy, Dr. J, Volgi, and then GorT. The results were as follows:
Given there are 32 teams, the extra two teams were doled out to Dat Ho and Sleestak. Dat Ho drew Egypt and Sleestak drew Germany. Of course, everyone threw up their hands when Sleestak drew the reigning champion. Two points if your team wins, one point for a draw.
Of course, the Czar kept muttering, “I don’t know why we’re doing this” to which, ‘Puter dutifully responded, “Suck it, Czar”. We’ll fill you in on the standing periodically.
GorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including subsidizing this website. Some of the products he has introduced from the future include oven mitts, the Guinness widget, Oxy-Clean, and Dr. Pepper. Due to his immense cybernetic brain, GorT is able to produce a post in 0.023 seconds and research it in even less time. Only ’Puter spends less time on research. GorT speaks entirely in zeros and ones, but occasionally throws in a ڭ to annoy the Volgi. He is a massive proponent of science, technology, and energy development, and enjoys nothing more than taking the Czar’s more interesting scientific theories, going into the past, publishing them as his own, and then returning to take credit for them. He is the only Gormogon who is capable of doing math. Possessed of incredible strength, he understands the awesome responsibility that follows and only uses it to hurt people.