The numerical extent of the Republican victories caught most of us by surprise, but the inevitability of it should catch none of our readers unawares. The Czar has been warning that the Democrat party is built on balloons for some time.

Dr. J. mentioned this to us the other morning (perhaps; the Czar gets confused when forced to rise early, and just assumes mornings and afternoons equate to the same vague concept of “daytime”). The good doctor mentioned that the GOP has been cleaning Democrat clocks in state races for some time, which is true. And even in Illinois—widely but incorrectly viewed as a loyal Democrat bastion—the Democrats were -1 in the state Senate, and did not lose any seats in the House. Even New York state is on the bubble of enjoying divided government. All in all, Democrats are down to only 6 states where they enjoy control.

The reason for this is that Republicans have enjoyed monstrous success at the state level for so long, and guess what feeds into the national level? The Democrats are literally running out of candidates.

This isn’t so crazy as it sounds. In a heavily Democrat state like, say, Massachusetts (whose governor went Republican), voters can choose between an underfunded Republican or a well-heeled Democrat. It’s easy to be a Democrat in those place.

But have that candidate attempt to go on the national field, and the competition is a lot more severe. Candidates like Georgia’s John Barrow—who might seem slightly left of center when running against a primary candidate who is wildly left of center—suddenly seems incoherent when running against a Republican who can speak to the public like Rick Allen.

Democrats like Jeanne Shaheen (D-NH), who defeated Republican Scott Brown, won by razor-thin numbers. And Mary Landrieu (D-LA) may have gotten enough votes to force a runoff against Bill Cassidy, but she no longer can count on Tea Party spoiler Rob Maness’ voters to siphon votes away from Cassidy. If they vote for Cassidy as expected, she’s doomed.

The Republicans are still in terrible danger of losing the presidency in 2016. For one thing, the Republicans are intentionally discouraging candidates to declare their intentions until very late in the game—a wise move to prevent the too-early announcements of 2012, when the media had years to destroy Republican contenders one after another. For another, Hillary Clinton is a household name.

But Hillary Clinton has never been more beatable. Politically, she’s weak as hell. Her record is riddled with landmines easily exploited by the Facebook/Twitterati crowd. Her donors have begun to flee after every one of her endorsed candidates lost in the midterms. The media make it clear she’s not their choice. And the general public views her as tired, haughty, and a bit cold. Her campaign would need to spend the next year reversing the negativity about her, and spend the following year hoping to build her image better. Not good.

However, running someone else is unlikely. The Democrats don’t have anyone.

The media clearly want Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA), but she’s a disaster outside of her state. Everytime she opens her mouth about the economy, voters go for Republicans. The media love her far-left Alinsky tactics, but Alinsky tactics don’t work reliably anymore: Republicans have begun learning how to defeat them. And there’s no way Republicans will omit mentioning her bullshit claims about Indian heritage. It’s been debunked, and can easily be weaponized to discredit her.*

The Obama camp wants to run Joe Biden. Really, the Czar has nothing else to add. What you’re thinking, the Czar is thinking.

Okay, so if it isn’t Warren, who is it? Indeed, the well is empty. Clinton—like Mondale or Dukakis—will be forced to run because (a) they have no one else and (b) the Democrats can finally get rid of a millstone candidate who won’t otherwise go away.

What the Democrats need is a candidate who won’t out-mock her own Saturday Night Live cold open personality. And there isn’t one.

* Unfortunately, all we need is a Republican candidate who won’t offensively yelp “woo woo woo woo woo” and repeatedly slap his mouth with his palm every time she says something. That’s the kind of self-destruction Republicans excel at, and the Czar promises nothing.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.