Democrat constituencies are as compatible as Sandra Fluke’s ill-fated sexual relationship with this adorable baby hippo.

Yeah, ‘Puter knows House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-VA7) lost his primary, but that’s not the most important political development from yesterday, and not by a long shot.*

Less noticed but more important is Los Angeles County Superior Court Judge Rolf M. Treu’s decision in Vergara v. California.** With this case, we may be witnessing the inexplicably strong Democrat coalition beginning to unravel.

In Vergara, nine poor and minority students challenged five California statues alleging the statutes violated the equal protection clause of the California state constitution.  So far, it’s no big deal, right? California hippies sue schools all the time. But this time, it’s different.  The five statutes challenged govern teacher tenure, teacher dismissal proceedings, and teacher seniority based retention (last in, first out).

Judge Treu ultimately struck down each of the five challenged statutes as unconstitutional under application of strict scrutiny standard.  That is, the statutes interfered with the students’ right to an equal opportunity to achieve a quality education and were not necessary to achieve a compelling state interest.***

In short, poor minority students smacked a screaming line drive right into the teachers unions’ nards.  There’s no walking this one off for the unions.  They didn’t just lose.  They got utterly and completely destroyed, Dresden style.

And that brings ‘Puter to his point. In Vergara, we see two core Democrat constituencies duking it out in a very public forum. Teachers unions launder funnel tax dollars involuntarily paid by teachers as union dues into Democrat campaign chests. Poor and minority voters form a substantial portion of Democrat voting base.  These two blocs have been united in fealty to Democrats for years, but poor minority folks finally got tired of going to separate but unequal schools, thanks in no small part to the teachers unions,**** and sued them.

Teachers unions and poor minority folks have little to nothing in common. Ditto for Blacks and gays, environmentalists and coal miners, rich White people and poor Hispanics, ObamaCare advocates and labor unions.  In fact, in many instances, these groups stand diametrically opposes on important issues.

California’s Proposition 8 (banning gay marriage) passed in 2008 primarily because of increased minority participation. Barack Obama was on the same ballot, driving Blacks to the polls in near record numbers. Unfortunately for gay marriage proponents, Blacks tend to be socially conservative on gay issues.

The Democrat party isn’t a party of ideas, it’s a party of grievances.  Each member of the coalition agrees to support other members’ grievances so long as the other members return the favor. We’re now seeing Democrats’ core constituencies realize other constituencies are actively opposed to their interests.  Once the different Democrat groups realize this, there will be a mad scramble to grab power and money in a vain attempt to protect their own.

The Vergara case may be the opening salvo in a long Democrat civil war, one that is far more threatening to the Democrats’ long term survival than the Republicans’ current Establishment-Tea Party struggle ever was.

A house divided against itself cannot stand, and the Democrats are clearly divided.  It’s just a matter of time before the Democrats’ house implodes.

* Cantor’s loss is important from a Republican leadership perspective, but its impact on the party as a whole is, as of this writing, vastly overstated. It appears Cantor lost because he was completely out of touch with his district. Here are two quick examples. First, Cantor spent more money on steak dinners during this campaign than his opponent Dave Brat spent on his entire campaign.  Second, Cantor wasn’t even in district yesterday morning, instead attending a national fundraiser on Capitol Hill.  Cantor didn’t lose the race so much as unwittingly throw it.

** For two competing write-ups of the Vergara case, see the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal.

*** ‘Puter likes the way Judge Treu thinks.  Here’s the full quote, abridged above: “All this Court may do is apply constitutional principles of law to the Challenged Statutes as it has done here, and trust the legislature to fulfill its mandated duty to enact legislation on the issues herein discussed that passes constitutional muster, thus providing each child in this state with a basically equal opportunity to achieve a quality education.” Imagine. A judge who believes in limits to his authority based on constitutional separation of powers.

**** N.B. ‘Puter doesn’t place all the blame on teachers unions.  There’s plenty of blame to go around. For example, broken families, destructive culture, poverty (monetary and moral), and poor administrators are also to blame.  Teachers unions, though, have gotten filthy rich off protecting themselves at the expense of their students, and thus are the most morally abhorrent actors in this stomach-turning tale.

'Puter

Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.

’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.

The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.

His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.

He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.

Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.

‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.