Today’s New York Times calls conservatives “stupid, poopy-headed America haters”* for daring to challenge the procedures under which a Democrat Congress crammed Obamacare down America’s food hole. The editors are exercised because conservatives dare to claim: (1) Congress enacted Obamacare in violation of the Origination Clause; and (2) people in states utilizing the federal exchange are not entitled to subsidization under ObamaCare’s plain meaning.

As all sentient beings know, Obamacare is “settled law,” or put another way, it’s the “law of the land.” To put it a third way for those of you with Twitter-sized attention spans, “It’s. The. Law. #ObamaCareInThreeWords.” As such, Obamacare may never, ever under any circumstances be questioned, amended or repealed.**

Here are the liberalism’s high priests at the New York Times,*** freshly descended from the mountaintop, sharing the god of liberalism’s commands with the little people:

Conservative critics of President Obama’s health care reforms are engaged in two long-shot lawsuits to overturn the Affordable Care Act or disable one of its central provisions. Both lawsuits should be recognized for what they really are — attempts to use the courts to scuttle a law that Congressional Republicans have repeatedly tried, but failed, to repeal through the political process.

Oh. Now ‘Puter gets it. All laws that a duly elected legislature passes, with which a vocal minority (or majority) may disagree, may never be overturned by the judiciary, regardless of the underlying legislation’s constitutionality.

‘Puter eagerly awaits the New York Times’ forthcoming editorial insisting the following laws overturned in the courts be immediately reinstated:

• Anti-miscegenation laws
• Segregation of schools
• Birth control bans
• Abortion bans
• Gay marriage bans

Liberals are nothing if not hypocrites. Liberals know this, but do not care. For liberals, the greatest command is not “Love your neighbor as yourself.” It’s “The ends justify the means.”

Know that, and you know everything you need to know about liberalism.

* No, actually, the New York Times does not call conservatives “stupid, poopy-headed America haters.” But you know it totally wanted to do so.

** Unless, of course, you’re a Democrat president. Then you can pretty much do whatever the heck you please, regardless of what Obamacare actually says or requires. It’s cool. America knows Democrats would never, ever do anything to harm America.****

*** The New York Times’ current motto is “All the news – no tits (at least in management) – in print.”

**** Like start an anti-war movement because they’re too chickenshit to serve in Vietnam.***** Or use Vietnam to push a hard left view of the world, bent on undermining the values that made America great in favor of a no consequences, free love bullshit worldview that brought us “feminism,” divorce, drug problems and widespread STDs. But at least the music was totally bitchin’, right hippies?

***** N.B. Some few involved in the antiwar movement during the Vietnam era were principled in their opposition. Those few, with whom ‘Puter disagrees greatly, had the courage of their convictions and stayed in the United States to face their just punishment. See, e.g., Muhammad Ali (though there is dispute as to whether he really believed all war was immoral).

'Puter

Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.

’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.

The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.

His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.

He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.

Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.

‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.