Your Mandarin received this dispatch attached to a brick thrown through one of the windows at the castle. This irritates your Mandarin for two reasons, the first being that the door was open, and second, well you can figure it out for yourself.
Most Dread & Inscrutable Mandarin,
My Siamese cat has been behaving strangely for some time now. He’s begun speaking and in a decidedly villainous Asian accent.
The other day, he said to me, “You know doze illustrations in da bootcha shop wit de dotted lines on de cows? I draw doze on you inna my mind.”
My wife says I’m insane because the cat never threatens me when she’s around. It just occurred to me that he must be under the control of one of your mind control satellites. I suppose it’s possible that she and the cat are gaslighting me.
At any rate, please release my cat. His malevolence has begun to affect my work and my personal hygiene.
Your faithful minion,
The Mandarin, whose real name is 吏恆, joined the order in 1309, and introduced the Gormogons into England during the 18th Century.
The Mandarin enjoys spending time with his pet manticore, Βάρἰκος, or Barry (who can be found in the Bestiary). When not in the Castle…well, frankly, nobody is quite sure where he goes.
The Mandarin popularized the fine art of “gut booting,” by which he delivers a powerful kick to the stomach of anyone that annoys him. Although nearly universal today, the act of gut booting or threatening someone or something with a gut boot is solely due to him.