The “The Catholic Church Is Anti-Science” Crowd Can Officially Suck It [Edited]
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| Msgr. Lemaitre, “anti-science” priest, works on his mathematical formulae explaining the origins of this universe as pointy-headed anti-Catholic bigots look on, dumbfounded. |
Some of ‘Puter’s left leaning friends have rediscovered the age-old anti-Catholic canard that the Roman Catholic Church is anti-science. To these folks, “anti-science” means “against whatever the leftist Democrats’ dogma of the day is.”
Anyway, back to science. While perusing the Twittersphere this morning, ‘Puter ran across this story, which should finally put the lie to the whole “why do you Catholics hate science” and “why can’t you be more like us enlightened liberal Democrats” horseshit.
Meet Msgr. Georges Lemaitre, Belgian priest and mathematician extraordinaire. Msgr. Lemaitre’s work in mathematics alongside some of the greatest scientific minds of his time helped form the basis for the Big Bang Theory.
You’re now well-armed to take down your smug liberal friends next time they claim the Catholic Church is anti-science. Try to not to smirk too much when they sputter and gasp, attempting to parry your masterful takedown of their know-nothing bigotry.
Anti-Catholic asshats can suck it, thanks to Msgr. Lemaitre and all the unrecognized, hard working Catholic scientists (both clergy and lay) across the centuries.
[UPDATE: Confucius is reliably informed that Msgr. Lemaître was a diocesan priest, not a Jesuit as the post originally identified him—though he studied at a Jesuit lyceum, the Collège du Sacre Cœur in Charleroi—and has edited the post accordingly. —ŒV]
Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.
’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.
The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.
His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.
He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.
Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.
‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.