I don’t know about our readers and the other castle inhabitants* but lately I’ve started noticing a trend with my “newsfeed” on Facebook. Basically, I can categorize my Facebook connections into one of a few buckets:
1. The Occasional Poster – GorT would self-categorize into this bucket. These folks post maybe once or twice a week usually about whatever is on their mind – family, food, pop culture, news events, etc. I like these folks. Most of the rest of the Gormogons* fall into this category.
2. My Susie Q. Snowflake is Teh Awesumest Athlete – I get proud parents. I’m proud of my kids. However, these folks are the ones that post every result of their kids’ sporting events. Even if it’s a pre-season scrimmage. These are the same folks who in their non-digital lives are pushing their kids to be on the top sporting team that their school, parish, or county offers and raise holy hell when they don’t make that team.
3. The I’ve Run 1,324 Miles In The Last 2 Hours Without Breaking a Sweat Person – ok, yes, I could exercise a bit more and I’m glad you have a hobby and are healthy, but I don’t need constant updates and pics of you sweating.
4. Facebook is my Advocacy Platform Person – look, I really don’t care if you are gay, lesbian, transgendered, bitcoin addict, or picked Jedi as your religion. I value the person and not their gender, sexuality, religion, race, etc. But 80% of these people’s posts are about one thing: their cause. I can respect people that are fighting for a cause, but when 80% of your social media presence is consumed with it, it begins to define you. Case in point: George Takei. 80% of his posts about about gay rights and promoting gay causes. So George Takei = gay rights advocate. I think he posts some funny stuff, but that is fading in comparison. I have good friends who do the same – some about gay rights like George Takei (and sometimes in a manner or wording that I find offensive) but others about BitCoin.
5. Everything I Post is Political Wonk – this person will share and repost all sorts of news stories to support their side of the political spectrum (and I have connections that do this on both sides). Many times, they haven’t taken the time to fully digest and apply any critical thinking to the post. Sometimes, they will tack in some 15-word caption. All in all, 75% of the time, it’s useless.
It’s not a bad thing that you may fall into one of these categories…I haven’t unfriended you (although I may have filtered some of your posts). I just found it interesting as I thought about it.
* – ‘Puter, Volgi, and Dr. J fall into this category. The Czar is too angry and the Mandy….well, he has trouble posting to Facebook from the orbiting mind controlling satellites.
GorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including subsidizing this website. Some of the products he has introduced from the future include oven mitts, the Guinness widget, Oxy-Clean, and Dr. Pepper. Due to his immense cybernetic brain, GorT is able to produce a post in 0.023 seconds and research it in even less time. Only ’Puter spends less time on research. GorT speaks entirely in zeros and ones, but occasionally throws in a ڭ to annoy the Volgi. He is a massive proponent of science, technology, and energy development, and enjoys nothing more than taking the Czar’s more interesting scientific theories, going into the past, publishing them as his own, and then returning to take credit for them. He is the only Gormogon who is capable of doing math. Possessed of incredible strength, he understands the awesome responsibility that follows and only uses it to hurt people.