Imagine a candidate named Fields. Fields can be a man or a woman, a president, representative or a senator, federal-level or state-level, a Democrat or Republican. If Fields were a major player, and the news stories were written a certain simple way, you might not be able to determine some of this information. Except, you could probably tell if the politician were a Republican or a Democrat simply from the headline of the article.

Here are some examples. Fields is a Republican in red sentences. and Fields is a Democrat in blue sentences. The news story is more or less exactly the same—just the headlines differ.

Fields on the left is a Democrat. On the right is Fields, a Republican. Or is it the other way around? You would need to read the news headline to determine which is stupidly evil and which is the Democrat.

6th Straight Quarter of High Unemployment Dogs Fields
Fields Holds Unemployment For 6th Straight Quarter

“I Never Touched Her!” Fields Now Denies Sex Touch
Fields Laughs Off Spurious Claim of Harrassment from Fired Ex-Staffer

Fields Caves on Dem Bill
Fields Agrees To Bipartisan Bill

Fields Bribery Allegations Come Up Empty on Facts
No Evidence Emerges in Fields Bribery Case

Fields Blames Teachers for School Failures
Fields Defends Families, Kids, for Failed Schools

Fields Refuses to Negotiate With Chinese
Fields Stands Firm on China

But this goes both ways, right? Doesn’t Fox News do the same thing? Let us see:

Fox News: IRS Continues to Intimidate Tea Party, Conservatives
CNN Our Top 10 Favorite Piers Moments

Hmm, no. Not quite the same thing.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.