The Czar tends to be the optimist; he leaves cynicism for 孔夫子, the Œcumenical Volgi (The Notorious ŒV) as the latter is far more experienced in matters of Что делать. But what is to be done seems to be the echoing theme in Obama’s non-existent foreign policy.

Let us see if we have this mapped out. The United States backed protestors in Egypt, demanded Ḥusnī Mubārak resign immediately, got chummy with the Muslim Brotherhood, decided Mubārak should stay but transition power to others, supported a democratic election, celebrated Mubārak’s unceremonial dumping, opposed the Muslim Brotherhood crackdown on freedoms, refused to back them when unrest began, sort of backed the military’s coup, refused to call it a coup, continued foreign aid, suspended foreign aid because it was a coup, and now reinstituted foreign aid because it really isn’t a coup. Hey, Jay Carney, is that about right? If it helps the inevitable grilling at your next press conference freak show, you can always refer reporters back to this paragraph.

Now that it has occurred to Obama that the presidency could be actual work, his mind is freed up to realize other things. Maybe what is to be done is nothing. By default, this is where he seems to be headed, so maybe speeding up the process is a good idea.

Look: it is entirely possible that in Egypt, there are no good guys. You can back the Christian Copts—and by God the United Nations should interrupt its Words With Friends games to help those people the same way they helped other religious minorities of the opposite persuasion—but ultimately the Egyptians are responsible to help the Copts.

But the military is not particularly inspiring there, and the Muslim Brotherhood actually seems to be doing what every conservative person warned the President about. You might want to step back, express frustration, cut off all aid, and let the folks sort it out. If an anti-American side materializes on top, we are done with Egypt and get used to life without a Suez Canal. If a pro-American side emerges as the leader, we resume our bribes to keep the Canal open pro-democracy enticements.

Ditto with Syria, in which Obama seems to be taking a better position. There are three sides involved there—pro-government bastards killing innocent people, anti-government bastards killing innocent people, and al-Qāʿidah who can’t wait to slaughter everybody. There just aren’t enough good guys to back.

So there it is. We keep expecting that cooler heads will prevail in these two places, as if suddenly centuries of stupidity will vanish. They certainly won’t do so with or without our approval, and haven’t with billions of dollars of aid. We need to stay the hell out for now.

The sooner President Obama just says that, the better it will be. Unfortunately, this means again that he would again take an anti-liberal position in support of common sense. So don’t expect this soon.

*For those who came in late, Confucius is the Gormogons’ Œcumenical Volgi.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.