‘Puter hates public sector unions, particularly teachers unions. Teachers unions steal from their members, protect unqualified and predatory teachers and support work rules that have ruined public education.  So long as teachers unions keep their ill-advised, asinine policy positions in the educational realm, ‘Puter seethes in silence as employees of a private corporation (union officers) receive wages, health care and pensions from the taxpayers.

But when American Federation of Teachers — A Union of Professionals (“Professional what?”, ‘Puter wonders) president Randi Weingarten takes a position on the recent Zimmerman trial verdict, ‘Puter can no longer hold his tongue.

What in the holy heck does Ms. Weingarten’s statement on behalf of the AFT and its members have to do with education? This is about as asinine as the American Bar Association taking a position on the abortion debate, or ‘Puter’s local county bar association staging a protest march in support of Pakistani lawyers (actually happened).

Here’s the actual text of Ms. Weingarten’s press release:

While we believe in the rule of law and the jury has spoken, the implications of the acquittal are profound. It is very disappointing that a racially profiled, unarmed African-American young man wearing a hoodie can be shot dead and there be no consequences for the perpetrator. This case reminds us that the path to racial justice is still a long one, and that our legal and moral systems do not always mesh. The proceedings in the Sanford, Fla., courtroom may well have dealt with the criminal aspects of the case, as defined by Florida law, but we will continue to deal with the moral ones. As the AFT pledged in a resolution passed at our 2012 convention, we remain steadfast in our commitment to fight for laws, policies and practices that will prohibit racial profiling at the federal, state and local levels.

The disposition of this case is the antithesis of what we teach our children in school—that the law protects innocent victims and that no one has the right to take the law into his or her own hands. Everyone’s child matters. We pray for the strength of Trayvon’s parents and loved ones in this difficult time.

Ms. Weingarten’s statement is edu-babble, showcasing an appalling overstep of the union’s mandate to represent teachers on education and work issues. Ms. Weingarten claims a resolution passed at a convention last year “to fight for laws, policies and practices that will prohibit racial profiling at the federal, state and local levels” provides a basis for her statement. Not so fast, Ms. Weingarten.

First, like any special interest group, unions are run by a handful of self-anointed snobs too lazy or too greedy to do actual work. Worse, these busybodies cram through liberal agendas having nothing to do at conventions attended by a handful of the union’s total members, most of whom are similarly self-appointed busybodies.

Second, the AFT’s resolution says nothing about individual profiling by private citizens. It is specifically limited to profiling by “federal, state and local” governmental entities. Mr. Zimmerman was not a government actor.

Third, we learned yesterday via the unctuous Piers Morgan’s interview with the mentally challenged Rachel Genteal that it was actually Trayvon Martin who profiled Mr. Zimmerman as a homosexual. ‘Puter eagerly awaits Ms. Weingarten’s breathless press release excoriating the deceased Mr. Martin for his completely unacceptable (“We passed a resolution!”) profiling of Mr. Zimmerman’s perceived sexual orientation.

Last, the Zimmerman verdict is not “the antithesis of what [you] teach [my] children in schools.” In fact, it is quite the opposite.  The Zimmerman case showcases the American criminal justice system, warts and all, for all to see. Mr. Zimmerman was presumed innocent until proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt, which presumption is nearly unique in the world. The prosecution was held to its burden by an impartial judge, and a jury of Mr. Zimmerman’s peers reviewed the evidence adduced at trial and decided the matter. Mr. Zimmerman was represented by counsel of his choosing, and would have been provided counsel at no charge if he could not afford counsel. Both prosecution and defense were bound by codified rules of evidence and criminal procedure. The prosecution shared all its evidence with Mr. Zimmerman’s defense before trial. Florida spent tens if not hundreds of thousands of dollars on this trial alone in order to ensure the rights of an individual defendant were respected. While the entire Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman encounter and resolution should leave no one happy, this trial and America’s insistence on individual rights protected by a Constitution is EXACTLY what Ms. Weingarten and her merry band of AFT pranksters should be teaching our children in schools.

Perhaps Ms. Weingarten would do better if she focused on ensuring Miami-Dade Public Schools were up to the task of educating students like Ms. Genteal and Mr. Martin. Based on Ms. Genteal’s illiterate testimony, including an admission that she was unable to read cursive, and Mr. Martin’s criminal conduct on school premises, Ms. Weingarten’s teachers are failing miserably in their primary task: educating America’s children.

'Puter

Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.

’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.

The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.

His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.

He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.

Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.

‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.