|‘Puter lectures the newest crop of Gormogons
minions in the Castle’s lecture hall, located
3.1 km from the Castle’s central hub in the
Wing of Larnin’ ‘n’ Nollidge ‘n’ Stuff.
‘Puter’s been on Detroit’s bankruptcy like white on rice. Like Anthony Weiner on every woman except his wife. Like John Goodman on an all-you-can-eat buffet.
‘Puter’s consistently stated (often at great length) that the United States Bankruptcy Code (1) superseded all inconsistent state law, whether statutory or constitutional and (2) as such, municipalities are permitted to avoid pension contracts in bankruptcy. ‘Puter’s been a danged broken record.
Yesterday,* no less than David Skeel, a professor of law and the University of Pennsylvania School of Law, wrote a piece for the Wall Street Journal confirming ‘Puter on all points. Please read Professor Skeel’s entire piece here.
Here is Professor Skeel opining on the likely results of Detroit’s Chapter 9 bankruptcy case:
Article IX, Section 24, of the Michigan state constitution says: “The accrued financial benefits of each pension plan and retirement system of the state and its political subdivisions shall be a contractual obligation thereof which shall not be diminished or impaired thereby.” Yet Chapter 9 of federal bankruptcy law clearly authorizes a city to restructure its obligations to restore financial health. How will the conflict be resolved?
Chapter 9 should prevail. The U.S. Constitution (Article VI) states that the laws of the United States are “the supreme law of the land,” and furthermore, that judges in every state are bound by them, “anything in the constitution or laws of any state to the contrary notwithstanding.”
- Federal law, whether the United States Constitution or Congress’ enactments based on enumerated powers, is the supreme law of the United States.
- State law, even state constitutions, must yield to federal law when there is a direct conflict between the two.
Michigan’s state constitution provision affording special treatment to creditors claiming pension related obligations is an “otherwise applicable nonbankruptcy law that would require Detroit to treat a “claim or interest of a particular class” differently from creditors in the same class (i.e., general unsecured creditors).
Therefore, pursuant to the United States Constitution’s Supremacy Clause, Michigan’s state constitution provision cannot be given effect, and Detroit will be able to cram down its pension obligations, much to the dismay of public sector unions everywhere.
Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.
’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.
The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.
His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.
He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.
Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.
‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.