Letters, telegrams, and Telexes (CASTLEG) of congratulations have been arriving from around the globe. A sample of those from some of our better-known open collaborators follows. Original copies of the telegrams are attached for historical interest. Apologies to future historians for the slightly damaged exemplars. Profound thanks to all.

View original telegram!

Wikipedia tells me that the Ancient & Noble Order of Gormogons was an 18th-century secret society that left no records as to what its purpose truly was. After five years of effort, I can attest that the 21st-century iteration of that venerable organization is ably living up to that tradition. Then again pedia means child. And Wiki is a proper name in German, but it sounds a lot like “Wicca,” which we all know is witchcraft. All that is left to do is connect the dots to see that Wikipedia is actually the scion of witches, sworn to undo the efforts of the Gormogons. I for one stand with the Gormogons in their eternal struggle against the wielders of dark magicks. “Act boldly,” Goethe assured, “and good men will come to thy aid.” Wait a little while longer and I’ll eventually show up. Anyway, congratulations, esoteric warriors!

Happy 5th Anniversary, Gormogons Brothers! Thanks & Blessings for standing strong upon Liberty’s wall. Keep up the good fight! #WWJD

Reliably smart and fun. The beau ideal of a the group blog and a rolling indictment of Twitter. Here’s to five more years.

View original telegram!

I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent, of human knowledge, that has ever been gathered together in one blog, with the possible exception of Galley Slaves.

Confucius, Œc. Vol.

Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu.