ScottO, whom you would recognize immediately as the awesome and intrepid @gscottoliver on Twitter if you were one of the 800 few followers of us on Twitter, strolled over to our table at the Leaping Peacock, carefully stepping over the supine ‘Puter, and said something about the Rosemont Ramjets along these lines:

Mighty Dread Czar of the Double (Be)Header,

I heartily agree with all your points about moving the Cubs out of Wrigley Field. My only reservation about Rosemont is that they’ll have a low-altitude jumbo-jet flyover every two minutes.

There go the TV revenues.

Your humble minion,
ScottO

P.S. I know about O’Hare’s flight path because I stayed a couple of nights with a friend in Rosemont a few blinks of the Volgi’s eye ago.

Rosemont is definitely within several feet of O’Hare Airport, and as a result sees planes flying so low that you can count the rivets in the aluminum skin.

First, however, there are numerous ball parks that are or have been within close proximity to airports. The Mets’s Citi Field, incidentally, is not only closer to LaGuardia but is directly lined up with runway 31. For a fairer comparison, the Nationals’s sandlot is about the same orientation and distance as to Reagan National as the Cubs would be to O’Hare. The sight of a plane coming in low past an outfield is not unusual.

Second, there is every probability—given the Chicago area’s often fickle weather that this new stadium would be an enclosed park. This allows Major League Baseball to favor the Chicago area for special events which Wrigleyville does not permit now. Additionally, during Winter months, this would be a superb venue (close to the airport, as you say, and scores of hotels) for concerts. Rosemont and the immediate area is already home to a few sports teams and concert tours that use the All-State Arena. Likewise, the Donald E. Stephens Convention Center is a large facility that proves Rosemont is a great, traffic-friendly location with parking, an airport, hotels, and a lot of restaurants. And surprisingly little mob influence.

Economically, the Ricketts are budgeting to spend $300 million just to stop Wrigley from collapsing into a pile of bricks. A new stadium, outside Chicago’s corrupting influence, would probably cost only another $100 million more…maybe $150 million if they want an operable roof. The Czar admits he doesn’t have a spare $150 million laying around and acknowledges that’s a lot of someone else’s money he would like to spend.

But it will cost Ricketts $300 million right away just to stop Wrigley Field from killing someone. To do what he wants to do will probably cost another quarter billion counting payouts to the community and local politicians. For a little more than his original amount, so to speak, he can get a brand, spanking new ballpark with nothing to spend for the next ten years. That has to be tempting.

And the best part is the Cubs could just leave Wrigley Field alone. 90 days out of the year, about 40,000 Abercrombie & Fitch-catalog refugees (unable to name anyone other than Sammy Sosa) will dutifully file into the park, pay $80 each, and sit and drink in the stands oblivious to whether there is a game going on or not. Then, three hours later, they can stagger into the Lakeview neighborhood and urinate on the sides of people’s ridiculously rented properties while screaming “Harry!”

They might not even notice the Cubs left a while back.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.