From Island Dweller, who like most island dwellers is so laid back he waits until the thirteenth hour to get anything done:
Your most august majesty:
I beg your forgiveness for positing this idea one day after it could have been put into effect. Still, one way to look at this is that it gives your subject (with your majesty’s input and guidance) one whole year to prepare it and implement it (with appropriate changes to suit circumstances, of course).
Even though I am 59 years of age, I could not resist the thought of taking part in Halloween to make a point and have some fun at the same time. I have a mustache and goatee (of course, of no comparison to your majesty’s!). My thought was to shave these off; find a tennis ball and cut a hole in one side, then find a piece of broomstick or pipe – anything that could be placed in the hole – thus making a reasonable facsimilie of a hand-held microphone. The next step was to don a suit and tie, then find a large “O” campaign lapel button for one lapel, and make a “Press” tag for the other lapel. The final step was to melt some chocolate and smear it liberally around the area of my mouth and lips. After hitting the road, my plan was to pass myself off to the curious as a member of the mainstream media covering the current presidential campaign. I don’t know how much candy I may have collected but I assure you around this area the comments would have been worth recording!
Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.